Waiting for the Ring!

grhe0101 · May 2011

Hello!
Well~ I picked out a few rings and now the waiting begins! This is going to drive me nuts!
Any advice how to wait patiently for the proposal? It could be days, weeks, or months.
I'm loving looking at TheKnot. So many great ideas.

redheadfsu · May 2011

In all honesty,I would recommend not thinking/talking wedding or looking at the knot. Because it will keep your mind on waiting, which can make you go nuts. Just keep busy with work, hobbies, friends, or family. You just have to relax since it sounds like you two want a traditional engagement. Good luck.

BunnyChii · May 2011

Yeah, probably a good idea to stay off the Knot or anything wedding related. Seriously, it will just drive you mad and make you even more impatient. Just relax and enjoy whatever is going on in your life right now.

I expected a proposal once while FI and I were dating. Out of the blue, he invited me to go to these beautiful gardens without any reason. I totally thought he was going to propose and was ecstatic, thinking about it all day while I was at work. I was wrong and it made what would have been a great date less than enjoyable.

After that, I made myself stop thinking about when he was going to propose. I enjoyed all of our dates, not constantly assessing whether they were potential proposals or not. He proposed about 5-6 months later and I couldn't have been happier, or more surprised.

Moral of the story, enjoy the time now and don't obsess over getting engaged/the wedding. Your time will come.

Good luck.

breaness · May 2011

Agreed with all above. Come back when you've got it

Don't stress yourself out and just enjoy the time with him!

giggleflirtz · May 2011

Well my first question is did you look together or are you just looking? If you are just looking and have not looked together, I would certainly get that ball rolling. And make sure you are on the same page at looking at rings. I was looking for a long time by myself, because he wasn't quite ready for that. Finally we were on the same page and he has agreed to take it seriously to look at rings, and he is even the one bringing up the wedding subjects! Test is readiness by talking about certain things like THE ROYAL WEDDING and see how into it he is. If he wants to gush to you about the dress, the ceremony, the site and the vows, then he is totally ready and he could be planning your proposal as we speak! But try to go about your day to day life otherwise it will drive you crazy thinking, "is this the moment?!". On the flip side, if he doesn't really want to talk about it and he doesn't seem to care... you may have a very long wait on your hands.

BronwynH · May 2011

I went through the same thing! Me and my fiance (then boyfriend) went to look at rings and he bought one, but I had to wait for the actual proposal. I knew it would be a few weeks before the ring came in though because it had to be sized. He even told me when it was coming in, but then it came a day early & so the proposal was totally a surprise! Just try not to think about it too much. Definitely don't do wedding planning until you are officially engaged. Just have fun with the anticipation, but don't stress about it or build it up too much. Good luck with the wait!

whitma87 · May 2011

don't stress or think about it.. you'll go crazy. I picked out the ring in August, he didn't propose until November. In a sense I was relieved he finally did, but don't rush him. he will do it on his own terms.

emmalujeske · May 2011

Thanks for the advice! I'm in the same boat!

We've picked out a ring, he's talked to my dad (just this last Saturday!), all that's left is a proposal! In jest, he said something about 'within the next couple months', so I'm hoping for an early summer proposal. But considering his school/ our work, I won't let myself get too excited.

We have unofficially agreed on an April 2012 wedding, so that tells me that it will at least be in 2011!

meganb1977 · May 2011

Mine actually came sooner than I expected...we selected a setting and diamond just after my birthday in mid-April and he went back the following week and put down the deposit. I didn't know how long it would take them to make the ring or how long he was going to hold onto it. He got the ring a month later, right before my parents moved, so it was a few weeks after that before we visited to see the new house. I wondered if he was going to ask their blessing but after keeping an eye out to see if he spent any time alone with them, I didn't think he did. But it turned out he did talk to them and he proposed to me a couple of weeks later, at the end of June. So maybe it will come sooner than you think.

My fiance would say that surprising you with the proposal is all the guy gets, when you get to show off the ring to all your friends afterwards, and I agree that yours should have the chance to spring it on you the way he wants, and it will be more meaningful to you in the long run. Engagement and wedding planning can be a bumpy road...no need to rush it if you don't have to :-)

ADTonk · May 2011

Hi, welcome, and congrats on your upcoming engagement!

I have to agree with PP's in that you shouldn't go crazy looking at TK. It will make you nuts. In the meantime, you can come on over to the Not Engaged Yet board and chat. Most of the topics are non-wedding-related.

Another thing - don't pre-plan. Wait until you're engaged to plan and just enjoy this time and live in the "now".

bholb1704 · May 2011

You are definitely not alone! We've (sort of) agreed on a May 2012 wedding and he has said from the begining that he wants to be engaged for a year. If you keep focusing on when it's going to happen, it might ruin the actual moment of when he proposes. Good luck on keeping your mind off it

MS0710 · May 2011

Definately don't focus on when. Just enjoy dating the man you will one day marry and take every day one at a time. Planning now will just make it seem longer and once you are engaged, there won't be much left to do!

I had obsessed over my proposal for a few weeks. Everytime he opened his mouth, I thought it was going to be time! Then he said he wanted to take a vacation this October. Score! That's when it will happen! Nope, when I least expected it a few weeks ago, he proposed and it couldn't have been better. I'm glad I wasn't still obsessed or it wouldn't have turned out as good as it did.

ashbee0223 · May 2011

Also in the same situation. We have looked at rings and found the one I'm crazy about. Just waiting for the actual proposal but the waiting isn't driving me nuts yet because I still want the excitement and surprise on it even though I picked my ring out.

sbanksbanks · May 2011

I guess I have to disagree a little with most of the posts that say to wait for the ring. My FI and I have set a date, reserved a venue and have informally announced to family and friends that we're getting married on June 16, 2012. We set the date before even discussing rings. As for a formal proposal, it would be nice, but not as important as knowing that I will spend the rest of my life with the man I love. See, I've been married before, but my former husband passed away before our 1st year anniversary. That taught me that life is too short to focus on the little thngs, like a ring. By the way, he didn't propose to me either and I didn't get the "engagement" ring until 2 weeks before the wedding!

I thank God everyday that He's given me a second chance at love, and I refuse to let something such as a ring stop me from planning a wedding, especially since the date is set. Now, if only I could come up with ideas for decorating the church and reception hall!

Waiting for the Ring!

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