Indiana

Dollar Dance......I need opinions.....DO or DONT?????

 Hello knotties! I need to hear from fellow brides on this one.....I am torn on whether or not to do a dollar dance at the reception. I have 2 good friends that were both married this summer....One did the $$ dance, one did not. I have asked both of our mothers and my mom thinks its tacky and his mom thinks they're lots of fun and that we should def. do it..........Our wedding/reception will be mostly family and close friends .....                 HELP! :)

Re: Dollar Dance......I need opinions.....DO or DONT?????

  • edited December 2011
    Until I found the knot, I didn't realize people considered dollar dances to be tacky. Each person's opinion of them depends on their family and the weddings they've attended.  I've seen it at every wedding I have been to, so I don't think they are tacky. I have always felt like it's just a fun way for the male guests to get to congratulate the bride. Wierd maybe, but not tacky. That being said, you should do what feels right to you and FI. Not your mother or FMIL.  They are your wedding guests, so you should determine how they might feel about it. But also, if you decide to do it and someone is offended...that's not your problem. IMHO.
  • pinwheelpinwheel member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    It personally isn't my style, but it is your day, and you should do what you want.
  • purdueamandapurdueamanda member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I personally don't like them.  It's like, here, come to our wedding and give me cash, even though you probably brought with you a gift or card with money in it already.  As a bride, I don't want to be forced to dance with people because they are willing to pay.  Just because I had to invite them, doesn't mean I want to dance with them :)BUT, after saying that, it's your wedding, your day... so do what ever YOU want to do!
  • edited December 2011
    about 95% of the weddings i've been to have had the dollar dance. it is very common in our area/social group/family. that being said, i never once thought it was tacky. like PP the first time i heard it being called tacky was when i joined the knot and read it on the message boards. i mean, come on...it is only a $1.00.  if they do not want to participate, they do not have to.  do i think you should have it? only if it is a common thing in your area and people are familiar with it.  
  • edited December 2011
    I can see why people find them tacky, but it seems to me there has been one at just about every wedding I have ever been to. (Maybe it's a Midwest or eastern European thing???).  I would go that route only if you are sure that the people you have invited have seen it before!
  • edited December 2011
    We were originally planning on doing it but then decided not to because we have a lot of people coming from out of town. They're already spending money on plane tickets, hotels, cars...so we figured we don't want them to have to shell out any more than. But we have had friends say they are worth it, it's extra honeymoon money!
  • edited December 2011
    I had never even heard of the dollar dance until I moved to Indiana! I'm from further out west and had been to tons of weddings in that area...and never saw anyone do it! That being said, we are not doing it...my family would be totally confused and there would only be a few in my fiance's family who would know what it is. But if it is something that you have enjoyed in the past and would like to have it, I say go for it! It's your day and you are supposed to have fun!
  • edited December 2011
    I think if it's common in your circle or with your guests then there is no problem doing it. It's very common with our friends.  We always go prepared assuming there will be one.As a guest, we like it because it gives you a minute to congratulate the bride or groom and talk to them for a minute. As a bride, I really enjoyed it because it was really hard for us to get around to everyone.  I had a moment to talk to some people close to me.
  • coltsgirlcoltsgirl member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    i agree with HB N BC . . . it is ONE DOLLAR! I used to LOVE it as a guest because it gave me a chance to actually be able to congratulate the bride and or groom one on one. It is a crazy day for you, and people are going to want to come up to you, but they will be hesitant to interrupt you as you will always be doing something - this gives them a perfect opportunity. Yes, you are asking them to "buy" your time, but imho, I dont think most people see it that way . . . . like we said, it is ONE DOLLAR! I grew up with them and have only been to 1 or 2 weddings that didn't have them, and honestly, I missed it.
  • Shay022Shay022 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I'm personally not a fan of the "dollar dance."  I think it seems tacky. I would rather take the time to go around and mingle with guests.  I can see how people would like to have one, but its just not my thing.You might think about how comfortable you would be in the situation.  If its something that sounds appealing or comfortable, then go for it.  If it doesn't sound so appealing, then don't do it.People young and old have different opinions about wedding traditions.  Do what feels right.
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  • ellemichelleellemichelle member
    Seventh Anniversary 10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I personally find them tacky.  Yes, it's only a dollar, but as the bride and groom we should find time to talk to each guest without them having to pay anything to have the special moment with us.
  • topchef33topchef33 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I don't think I will be having a dollar dance, although I've been to plenty of weddings where there has been a dollar dance. It's really common in my area, but I find it to be a bit tacky.

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  • edited December 2011
    but the point is....it is a tradition in some families/social groups. i will not use the dollar dance as my ONLY means of mingling with the guests.  if some brides do, then yeah that would be alittle rude. i think most brides have enough common sense though.  i just don't appreciate people calling our family tradition tacky (it stems from a polish tradition  ). those that are at our wedding and are not familiar with it can just sit that one out.  no hurt feelings. there are alot of people coming to our wedding that will expect it out of tradition...and believe it or not ....WANT to do it!
  • edited December 2011
    This is not for everyone.  It is only "tacky" if you do not respect or understand the tradition it represents.  It's not about raising money.  If that's your plan or uneducated opinion, by all means call it tacky and don't choose to do it.  The tradition is a lot classier and meaningful.  At it's core, the dollar dance is a symbolic way of sending good wishes to a bride and groom on the day of their marriage.  The tradition offers a structured time for friends and family (but mostly the family and friends that are not considered "inner circle" with the bride & groom) to touch you, to talk to you, to have your undivided attention for 10 or 15 seconds on your biggest day of days.  It's a more personal contact with you than the receiving line.  Yes... it's only a dollar, barely worth the paper it's printed on.  How about an alternative paper offering?  Why not put out neat little note cards and pens for your guests to offer good wishes or a tidbit of newlywed advice?  Have them hand that to your honor attendant instead of cash.  That little bit of paper is now worth MORE than a dollar.
  • Shay022Shay022 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Someone recently posted a similar question on the "planning and ettiquette" board.Here is the link:http://talk.theknot.com/boards/ShowPost.aspx?PostID=61247244&forumid=9
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  • edited December 2011
    Wow the Indiana board got interesting while I was over on my Niners board ... maybe I will come over here once in a while a bit more. ;) We are doing it because we had several requests to from our family thinking we wouldn't have much time to spend talking with them. I don't want to but don't really care either way.
  • edited December 2011
    My younger brother got married a year ago last Feb.  There weren't many people on the dance floor...to stir things up my older brother grabbed the mic and started mcing the dollar dance...they didn't PLAN it.  He "auctioned off" both my brother - the groom - AND the bride.  They were both out there at the same time.It was REALLY FUNNY b/c my 70+ grandparents got out there and started cutting a rug and people started having a lot of fun after that...they even did the polka!Sometimes Indiana folks can be a bit reserved.  The dollar dance got everyone out on the dance floor and mingling with each other and being silly.  A lot of people gave more than a dollar too - they didn't seem to mind - several people gave $20s.I'd never even seen a dollar dance before.  My older brother is crazy.  If he does that at my wedding, I'll smack him - just kidding.  I'm not planning on a dollar dance but if it happens, oh well, if not, I won't miss it.  I just want to have fun.
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