Maybe changing plans, feeling super guilty.

Pumpkin_Princess · August 2009

There's no question here, I'm just feeling really guilty and wanted to get it out. When FI and I decided to get married, I was so excited I just agreed to anything he wanted, which at the time meant eloping. So we booked the Valley of Fire helicopter wedding. Then it occurred to me that I really wanted my parents to be there, so we rented a 2nd helicopter to accomodate our parents and photographers. Several family and friends were hurt by this, so we told them that if they wanted to join us in Vegas to celebrate, they are welcome, but they were informed that they would not be able to attend the ceremony because of spacial limitations. Now several people have booked hotels and airfare in order to join us, and I just really want my family and friends to be there for the wedding. I approached FI about just doing a ground Valley of Fire wedding so that everyone could come, and he's totally against it. I feel horrible even asking because I've changed everything so much since we agreed on the plan, and the helicopter is the ONLY thing he has asked for and wanted throughout the entire planning process. I don't know what we're going to do. Sorry that was so long.

Ray_Ray · August 2009

I don't know the location that well, so am unsure about the logistics of what I'm about to suggest but... is it possible to hire a minibus or something to take guests to the wedding? You could still go in and leave in the helicopter like Fi wants and you get to have your guests.If not at the Valley of Fire is there another place where you could arrive by helicopter while guests use another means of transport?

Ray_Ray · August 2009

Thought the other thing I will say is don't lose sight of what you and your Fi want because you feel guilty about people that have booked though they were fully aware of your plans. I've found that I've had to reel myself back in this past week or so, because I've been looking at so many ideas and have people saying 'you MUST do this' that our original excitement was getting lost! Now, all I think about is how we felt when we saw the chapel and that ultimately, it's about US and where WE want to get married

jusstice · August 2009

I am also getting married at the Valley of Fire, although not by helicopter (probably because FI didn't know you could). The location was THE only thing my FI had requested in the whole process. It is costing extra money to have buses to take the people to the site, plus the photog and extra time it takes is a royal pain in planning. I mean, I basically have our guests hostage from 3PM-11PM. People have said, why can't you get married here instead, or in the hotel, why the desert, etc... Yeah, it would be easier and cheaper for everyone, but I think about the fact that it is FI's day as well, and I know deep in my heart that I need to give him this one thing that is so important to him.In your case, like pp said, people knew going in that they would not be able to attend the ceremony. DON"T feel guilty. DON"T ruin it for yourself or your FI. Is there any way someone can video the ceremony and have an av setup at the reception to view the ceremony right away for the guests?

mayanut · August 2009

Most of the comments you'll see from people talking about weddings say that they don't really care about the ceremony itself. I can't think of a single wedding I went to where I said, "oh, the reception was fine, but MAN the ceremony was amazing!" It the party/reception that interests them. Just make sure to take care of your guests the rest of the time by having opportunities for them to celebrate with you and it'll be fine. If you have a welcome get together and something after the ceremony, I'm sure they'll be happy. Besides, it's Vegas, they can find plenty of fun things to do on their own time. I think a lot of guests are coming to the wedding only as an excuse to go to Vegas.

Pumpkin_Princess · August 2009

Thank you ladies. As it stands right now, we do have it set up so that we can show a DVD of the ceremony at our little reception dinner. I'm going to talk to FI again and we'll probably stick with it. As hard as I try, I just can't seem to please everyone.

matilda1215 · August 2009

Do yourself a favor....as hard as it may be to do.....DON'T BUDGE YOUR WEDDING PLANS FOR ANYBODY! Don't do it. Do not let "outsiders" influence YOUR wedding. Trust me because once you make exceptions for this one and that one you have to make exceptions for all. If you and your FI want to get married in a helicopter...do it. That's what you guys want....and it's ALL about you and your FI. Don't ever lose sight of that. It's not about anyone else. This is the one time where you can be selfish. LOL I've got tons of people who aren't going to be able to come out to Vegas....and tons others who aren't going to be invited. But it is what it is. This is what FI and I want for our wedding. Quick example...FI and I invited 50 ppl...that was our limit. Future FIL calls me up almost every other week telling me who else is coming and I've tried to put it nicely and politely that no they're not invited for several reasons. Well last nite I was very blunt and b**tchy about it and said "No, they're not invited. It's not an open invitiation to our wedding. Those who are invited got a STD and will receive an invitation. It's up to Bart and I whose invited....the last time I checked it's OUR WEDDING." If you have to go a little Bridezilla (LOL) then do it. Seriously don't compromise your day for other people...unless it's your FI

It's all about you two and what you two want.Don't forget that

matilda1215 · August 2009

Pumpkin Princes... Sorry if I sounded a little Bridezilla-ish in my pp.....just aggrivated with FI's side trying to tell us that everyone and their mom is coming to our wedding. lol

stinkerbell6879 · August 2009

I have to agree with all of the pp....DON'T Change your plans unless you and your FI want to! It is really hard not to want to make everyone else happy, and I am going thru it too! and I have had to stop myself and say "Is this what WE want?" and that has helped me stay focused! Well...GL

pamila51510 · August 2009

I agree don't change your wedding plans for these people that want you to. This is YOUR day and HIS day! You become One on this day. Just the way you planned on your are having a reception. Atleast you told them about the wedding and didn't just come back home and say oh btw we got married on vacation and thought we would have a reception now.

thrashtobe · August 2009

i agree do whatever you want, im flying half around the world to be in vegas and get married there we only have 2 guest with us, less hassle for us.we gave people the choice wheter they come and save for it, some people said yes and others said no from the start.but No way was i going to change my location of wedding for anybody vegas it is and thats it like it or lump it!i could afford a nice day in the uk for what we have spent on our wedding/honeymoon , but no way was i going to sacrfice my honeymoon to feed people.

Maybe changing plans, feeling super guilty.

Re: Maybe changing plans, feeling super guilty.

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