Postponing Wedding

ktyd8 · August 2009

As of right now we have a set date of May 29, 2010. We have already booked our venue and caterer but that's about it. Postponing the wedding isn't official (meaning no vendors have been cancelled) and it has nothing to do with our relationship..just finances. I know in my head that the smart thing to do financially is to push it back a year. It just hurts and makes me upset. If we wait a year I will have one year of teaching and grad school under my belt (hopefully if i can find a job) and FI will have completed his first year of law school. My parents are going through a nasty divorce and were planning on paying for the wedding and still will but can't really afford what they could when we booked our venue and caterer. I know waiting is the smartest thing for us financially but ugh..it just sucks! Okay, vent over.

apfoster05 · August 2009

we have thought about doing that too...financially its just better if we wait a year, but we are just so ready to get married that its a hard decision. We don't know what we want to do yet...

ktyd8 · August 2009

yeah we're basically in the same boat..we know what would be best but we've been engaged for over a year now and just don't want to wait anymore!

apfoster05 · August 2009

yeah ...its very frustrating, we've thought about just going to the court house and getting it over with but me and my family and his family want the big wedding...

ktyd8 · August 2009

yeah we've thought about a JOP with like an at home bbq reception but i realize that isn't really what i want. right now that's all we can really afford. i'm just having a hard time agreeing to postponing.

wendyh33 · August 2009

I'm glad(And sad) to see other people have the same financial woes as I do. We thought of all the same things as everyone else. I really want our grandmas to be there. My 10 y/o nieces are so excited to be in the wedding, I can't crush their little hearts! We are trying to do everything very inexpensively but, it really is very difficult! Every reception site is at least $3000. We are paying for everything ourselves so what seems like nothing to some is extreme for us. We also need to buy a house!

apfoster05 · August 2009

me too its the last thing on my mind, bc i dont want to postpone at all....its very frustrating..i wish that things werent so expensive!!

sistergh · August 2009

Is some sort of in-between possible? Our situation is very different, but it doesn't make sense for me and my fiancee to have a long engagement for a lot of reasons (no, no baby on the way :-)). We didn't want to do a magistrate wedding either. We're still having a fair number of guests, but I didn't go with an elaborate venue or menu. And for a while we thought about cutting the guest list some. It's possible to still have a nice wedding on a limited budget. Could you maybe move to a Friday night or Sunday (not sure when your wedding is now)? This would have made a big difference for us at some of the places we were looking. Do a brunch? Cut the guest list? Do your own reception flowers? Buy a dress on ebay? Do a cocktail and dessert reception? Just thoughts, but they all work at helping you save lots of $. My point is it doesn't have to be all or nothing if you don't want to wait. It wasn't worth it for us to wait a year to get married. It may be worth it for you. But if it's not, there are options.

smlinebe · August 2009

This applies to all of you I guess, but I wondered if you considered looking at different options for your weddings. I had my entire wedding for around 5,000. There are a couple of places in Raleigh that I know are affordable. If you guys are in Raleigh, I can give you some ideas. Otherwise, though, I think you're doing the right thing. You definitely don't want to start your marriage in a lot of debt or financial hardship. GL!

ktyd8 · August 2009

for us its a financial and a time of the year thing. we chose may because then we would be able to go on a honeymoon right after the wedding. i've had no job all summer (still looking for one) and have about $12 to my name right now

FI has been supporting me. as far as time of year we are thinking it may get too stressful as this is our schedule (all in 2010): may 7th- we both graduate from undergrad may 29th- wedding/honeymoon sometime in august FI starts law school. we won't find out where he is going to law school until march/april and then we will have to figure out where we're moving, find a place to move and then move. all sometime from may-aug. we think it will be wayy too stressful. oh and on a funny note my crazy FMIL suggested we have the wedding the same weekend as graduation so she only has to travel once!

ktyd8 · August 2009

oo smlinebe if you could send me some ideas on venues and other vendors that would be fabulous! my email is futuremrstickle at yahoo dot com or you could post them here. whatever is easiest for you! it is much appreciated!

shigaites · August 2009

We are also postponing because of finances. Originally we were planning on Aug 2010, but have pushed it to March 2011

andrea01012009 · August 2009

i'd go ahead and get married next year. i would plan the wedding around your budget...think about it 85% of the friends you invite won't be around you in 15 years anyway...go small and intimate instead of postponement.

ktyd8 · August 2009

it doesn't matter to me if its small and intimate or big and fancy with lots of people. my budget was around $10K to start and now it's around half that (if we stay as planned. who knows if it will be more or less a year from now). i've made compromises by cutting the guest list to 58, was willing to change to a cheaper venue and do bbq. my mom is really pressuring us to postpone because she isn't in a good place in her life to be supportive of us. there are a lot of my parents personal issues that are causing no one in my family to be happy about this wedding. my mom wants me to wait until she is settled and the divorce is final until i get married. i just want to cry

and ps. yes i'm in counseling.

wendyh33 · August 2009

Smlinebe- would you send me some of the same info please? jerseygirlwh@aol.com Thanks!!

smlinebe · August 2009

YGM girls!

barrieinlove · August 2009

what about planning a smaller wedding? you can still have a beautiful day w/o spending a HUGE amount of money that will be special to the two of you.

shortln · August 2009

I also planned my wedding with a 5,000.00 budget and came a little under. We had a 8 month engagment due to his Mom being deployed. so we didnt have alot of time ot save. We went through our guest list and if we did not talk to them on the regular basies they did not get an invite. we only did close familys not extened. It actually was really nice to have people that i know are going to be in our lives for years be there. I did my own flowers. Our cater was 17.00 a person and we have a nice menu he was great and worked with us. If you need ideas/ our budget or vendors feel free to email me. Grandelli502 at hotmail dot com

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