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I feel some chaos coming....

kaylak12kaylak12 member
Third Anniversary First Comment
in Snarky Brides
Soo...basically, my fiance and I got engaged back in October of 2011 and we've been planning for quite some time, even before we get engaged. Well, he has a twin who just got engaged last weekend, and it always feels like there's competition. While my ring was a very sweet, tradition, and modest ring that only cost around $800 (with insurance included), her bought her a 1-carat black diamond ring (which in my opinion is hideous!) that cost him $2,000!! My fiance's brother is a HUGE jerk to him, and I have a feeling they will try to make everything better than ours. They're making everything about themselves and are talking about the wedding every minute than can on Facebook and Twitter, etc.  Gee, I thought the bride was supposed to be the one who is the control freak. Guess I was wrong. Luckily, the good thing is that theirs is before us, so we have the chance to do a nicer job for less!

Has anyone else had sibling competition with weddings/wedding planning?
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Re: I feel some chaos coming....

  • Blueyed228Blueyed228 member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_i-feel-some-chaos-coming?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:52267650-5d56-473d-909e-d794cfb7b9f0Post:8527a305-6f4e-4334-969e-3faab2b7a98d">I feel some chaos coming....</a>:
    [QUOTE]Soo...basically, my fiance and I got engaged back in October of 2011 and we've been planning for quite some time, even before we get engaged. Well, he has a twin who just got engaged last weekend, and it always feels like there's competition. While my ring was a very sweet, tradition, and modest ring that only cost around $800 (with insurance included), her bought her a 1-carat black diamond ring (which in my opinion is hideous!) that cost him $2,000!! My fiance's brother is a HUGE jerk to him, and I have a feeling they will try to make everything better than ours. They're making everything about themselves and are talking about the wedding every minute than can on Facebook and Twitter, etc.  Gee, I thought the bride was supposed to be the one who is the control freak. Guess I was wrong. Luckily, the good thing is that theirs is before us, so we have the chance to do a nicer job for less! <strong><u>Has anyone else had sibling competition with weddings/wedding planning?
    </u></strong>Posted by kaylak12[/QUOTE]

    Nope.  My sister had a lovely wedding that while different from mine was just as nice and suit her just right.

    Just dont talk about wedding stuff with them.  And DEFINITELY stop talking about money.
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  • AllAboutTheBenjaminAllAboutTheBenjamin member
    10000 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    I'm the oldest of four girls, and my sister got married a year before I did.  I always teased that since she did it first that I got to make my wedding better... but really, it's kinda silly to get uppity about stuff like this.

    Try not to let this bother you too much.  If they are really being this obnoxious it's only making them look bad so you can just sit back, relax and enjoy your wedding planning.  And ditto Blue - stop the money talk.  Money can certainly buy some fancy things, and true it's not always needed to make a nice wedding.  But if dollar signs are going to be flashed around, no matter what the amount... well.  It just makes everyone look like diicks.
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  • Matty143Matty143
    500 Comments
    Ditto Bue & AATB.

    My younger sister was also married before me, and our weddings were very different, but there was no contest.
     
    Good luck!
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  • RamonaFlowersRamonaFlowers member
    Eighth Anniversary 500 Love Its 1000 Comments Name Dropper
    edited June 2012

    Shrug. You say you don't want this to turn into some kind of competition with money ... but it kind of sounds like that's exactly what you're trying to do here. Like you're somehow a better person than them because you won't spend as much as they will.

    You spend the money you have the way you want to, and they can spend the money they have the way they want to. Her ring may not be your taste, but if she loves it and her FI could afford it, what's the big deal? Who the eff cares?


    *I felt sorry for my husband before I met him. Take a number.*
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  • KateJ10KateJ10
    1000 Comments
    edited June 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_i-feel-some-chaos-coming?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:52267650-5d56-473d-909e-d794cfb7b9f0Post:8527a305-6f4e-4334-969e-3faab2b7a98d">I feel some chaos coming....</a>:
    [QUOTE]Soo...basically, my fiance and I got engaged back in October of 2011 and we've been planning for quite some time, even before we get engaged. Well, he has a twin who just got engaged last weekend, and it always feels like there's competition. While my ring was a very sweet, tradition, and modest ring that only cost around $800 (with insurance included), her bought her a 1-carat black diamond ring (which in my opinion is hideous!) that cost him $2,000!! My fiance's brother is a HUGE jerk to him, and I have a feeling they will try to make everything better than ours. <strong>They're making everything about themselves and are talking about the wedding every minute than can on Facebook and Twitter, etc</strong>.  Gee, I thought the bride was supposed to be the one who is the control freak. Guess I was wrong. Luckily, the good thing is that theirs is before us, so we have the chance to do a nicer job for less! Has anyone else had sibling competition with weddings/wedding planning?
    Posted by kaylak12[/QUOTE]
    <div>
    </div><div>If they are doing this, I can't imagine you are the only one annoyed. But get over it, ignore them, and focus on your own wedding instead.</div>
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  • am2326am2326 member
    10 Comments
    Kay, I can totally understand where you are coming from. My FI brother just got engaged and they went so far as to ask for the size and price of my e-ring which I thought was so rude. They got engaged after she found out we were engaged and threw a hissy fit about wanting to get married too. Theres really nothing you can do about others being competitve. All you can do is enjoy your wedding planning and not let others take the fun out of it for you. Good luck!
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 100 Love Its Name Dropper
    My sister is getting married in August, me next November. We are both getting married in historical landmarks, our dresses are from the same designer, we are both using purple for our main color, and we have the same photographer. Similar ideas? Sure. Do I care? Not in the least. I love my sister, she's getting married on her ten year anniversary with her FI. I am nothing but ecstatic for her. I feel no competition from her whatsoever.
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  • KnittibellKnittibell
    1000 Comments
    It's only a competition if you're both competing.

     Let them do their thing, and you do yours. Unless you secretly WANT a bigger ring, fancier wedding, etc- then I'm not sure what the issue is? Everyone is going to act differently, and have different priorities. I know rivalry is a thing with twins, but be the "bigger" couple, and just let whatever they do go. You have your plans, for your day, and be happy with them. Let them do their thing and try your best to just be happy for them. x
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