Is there any bar to doing this?

bablingbrooke · August 2009

DH and I got married last month in CA. Per a new law in effect as of Jan. 2009, you can no longer take two middle names as your married name; i.e. I could not do what I had planned, which is First Middle Maiden Married, with my middle and maiden names as my two middle names. The purpose behind the law was to make name-changing gender neutral if a man wanted to take his wife's name, and to allow couples to change their name to some combination of their last names. But because of the ridiculous way the new statute has been drafted and subsequently interpreted, it includes a list of what your new name may be (i.e. hyphenating, taking a name, keeping your maiden name as your middle name, etc.), and having two middle names is out of the question. Thank you CA Assembly Member Fiona Ma. They get so many complaints at the marriage bureau that they have her office's contact info at the ready to complain; I tried calling but the mouth breather intern that answered was absolutely no help. Hyphenating would make my last name too long so I decided to keep my middle name and ditch my maiden name; I didn't want to do that but I had three days until the wedding and was told I wouldn't be getting a marriage license unless I picked one of my options. But my middle and maiden names are both special to me and I really don't like the idea that I've given one of them up. MA (where I live; DH is in CA for work) does not have the same crazy law. Does anyone know if there's any prohibition against us doing another (courthouse or marriage bureau) ceremony here to get another license that will allow me to keep both names?

julie_abeille · August 2009

Wow, that sucks. I'm sorry I can't be of any help.Thanks for posting this though. I had no idea that you had to make the whole name change decision when you get your marriage license. We're going on Friday and I still haven't decided what to do. Shiit.

kristinanddan · August 2009

Yeah you can't have two weddings. You'd probably need to get divorced in the middle.

kristinanddan · August 2009

That said, it is ridiculous that you can't change it the way you want to. I wanted to do mine that way as well, not sure if I can here or not.

bablingbrooke · August 2009

Yeah I asked if we could get a license and change my name later so that I could have a chance to think about it and they said after the ceremony I was stuck with it, unless I wanted to go to court to change my name.

C W · August 2009

That's bizarre. I highly doubt you can get married a second time.

mocha beans · August 2009

Wouldn't you be essentially having a second marriage? I don't think you can do that.

tidetravel · August 2009

Unfortunately, I don't think having 2 marriage licenses is legal. Does your license list your new name? Mine just has both of our names, and then you take the license to the SS office to officially change your name.

tlv204 · August 2009

I don't really think you can do that either, since in most states, if not all, to get a marriage license you have to swear you're not already married. and they check on that stuff. That's really lame though that you had to pick before the wedding, and that it couldn't be the way you wanted it. Missouri made it difficult for me but at least I could pick how to do it.

bablingbrooke · August 2009

Yes, it does list my new name.

tidetravel · August 2009

I would check with the SS office to see about your official name change - you can probably change it with them to first middle maiden newlast, and then change the rest of your documents to match that. It's just that your marriage license would be missing one of the names.

thesportsgal21 · August 2009

Maybe I'm mistaken, but can't you just change your name anytime you want? My friend recently changed his last name to his mother's maiden name. And I also know someone who's had 2 middle names since birth. Maybe when you get back to MA you can try to change it. And if some fool can name their child Adolph Hitler, I think you should ba allowed to have 2 middle names... Juss sayin' http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/28269290/

bablingbrooke · August 2009

Hadn't thought of that, I'll definitely look into it.

bablingbrooke · August 2009

I'm well aware of the court option but I really don't want to do it. I know it's not a very arduous process but isn't it ridiculous that I have to even consider it?

tidetravel · August 2009

Yeah - I think SS would be your best recourse. I know in MD you need to change your name on your SS card before you can get a new drivers license. They want the certificate to show proof of legal name change, but I am sure if you tell them you want your legal name to be the way you want it, they should work with you.

bablingbrooke · August 2009

Boy I hope so. You'd think in the year 2009 married women would have some leeway in changing their own names. Especially in a state like CA!

ggmae · August 2009

I'm with PPs in thinking that you probably can't get married twice. I have First Middle Maiden Last Married and would have freaked out if they made me choose between middle and maiden. I didn't have to decide until I went to the SS office a month after getting married, but I would have had a hard time choosing. That law sucks.

ggmae · August 2009

Whoa, I meant First Middle Maiden Married.

APAW · August 2009

I'm not sure why this is a problem at all. A CA law is irrelevant in MA. Go into the MA DMV with your CA marriage license and your old MA driver's license. I bet they won't have an issue with you doing First Middle Maiden Hislast. I doubt it will be an issue with the Social Security Administration either. Check first, then freak out if necessary. :-)

ggmae · August 2009

FWIW, I have all 4 names on my SS card and it wasn't an issue at all. SS is national, where as a Cali law is for CA so I'm not sure if it would be a big issue. For the CT DMV, I was only allowed First MiddleInitial Last, so I just used the initial for my maiden name as my middle name. Not sure how the MA DMV works.

dawnfromtexas · August 2009

I like everyones' idea of doing what those a-holes in CA require on your marriage license and then working thru SS admin and driver's license for the way you want it. Passport too. Once you have it a few places the way you want it that's your legal name. The marriage license is really just what you take around to get the first few documents - ya know.And YES, in NY State you need to decide what your name will be before you get married. If you even think you might want to take his name it's best to just check the box. You don't have to go around and change it later, but if you don't check that stupid box for name changing then you're winding up in court to do it. That's what a clerk told DH when he waited in line at the marriage buro behind some sobbing girl who forgot to check the box. (He was getting me more copies of our license.)

Moneypenny424 · August 2009

In MA, you also need to decide what your name will be to get a marriage license; however, I believe I only needed to state what my last name would be, not my full name. Like PP said, I don't think you can get an MA marriage license now. I don't know how it would work with SS. I have 4 names, but MA does not allow 4 names on your driver's license, so although I have First Middle Maiden Married in SS, I'm just First Maiden Married on my driver's license.

Leah&Christian09 · August 2009

The clerks are supposed to check for current marriages when they give you a license, but sometimes they F it up. I have a divorce client who had a pending divorce (in the same county) and managed to get a marriage license and get married. Yeah, now we can't really divorce him. But anyway, that would be fraud.The court process isn't that awful. You're a law student, right? You could handle it yourself, and consider it a learning experience.

Is there any bar to doing this?

Re: Is there any bar to doing this?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards