Can I ask bride and groom if they received the gift we sent?

Re: Can I ask bride and groom if they received the gift we sent?

• zantster member

  

  October 2012

  When you had it shipped did you get a delivery confirmation, tracking number or other way for you to confirm through the shipping service?  If so, try that.  I'm not the expert on the exact number of months etiquette says they have to send thank you notes.  Other ladies on here can tell you that.  But I know it definitely varies from couple to couple and taking into account how busy they probably are getting settled in post-wedding I would let it go for at least 3 months unless there's an expiration date on when you can get a refund if it didn't arrive.  But that's just me.  If there's an expiration date on the refund then check before it ends.  Of course if you run into them before then you can always ask how they liked the gift you got them.  If you don't happen to connect before then that would be how I would check afterwards is to just find out if they liked it.  That will let you know if they got it.

  

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• peanutty2 member

  

  October 2012

  I think you can ask if they received the gift.  I would give them a couple weeks maybe just because they just had their wedding and could be waiting to open all gifts together until after their honeymoon or something like that.  But then ask.  You could say just that you had it shipped straight to them and since you know they are moving wanted to make sure it made it and to the correct address.  Nothing wrong with that.  And I would hope you would still get a thank you card!  Although it sounds like they may either not send them, or could take a while sending it and then you will be wondering that whole time if they even received it.

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• Maggie0829 member

  

  October 2012

  I would not ask if they received the gift.  If you are worried about whether or not it was delivered then use the order number you received from the website and track the package through whichever carrier the website uses (UPS, FedEx, USPS, etc).
  
  And since you didn't receive a thank you note for your shower gift, don't hold your breath for one for the wedding gift.
  
  Also, I believe that couples have up to a year to get their thank you notes out.  I, myself, actually just received a thank you note from a wedding I went to last November.  By now I thought the note was pointless and meaningless, but whatever.

  
  

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• SmallenForever member

  

  October 2012

  I'd wait a little while after the wedding, but yeah, I'd ask. This happened to me once. My aunt sent me a gift and I never got it. If she hadn't mentioned it, I never would have known to go looking for it (my neighbor had it and forgot to give it to me). 

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• misssunshine17 member

  

  October 2012

  I think you can ask after a couple weeks, just mention it on the preface of you wanting to make sure that they got it. 

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• DramaGeek member

  

  October 2012

  I don't know where the fallacy that couples have a year to send out TYs came from, but it's wrong.  OP, if you don't have a tracking number, I'd wait until the end of October and ask then.  At that point it would have been two months since they should have received it and a nionth past their wedding.

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• Jen4948 member

  

  October 2012

  It's okay to ask if you do it in a way that doesn't suggest that you are looking for a thank-you from them.  Limit your inquiry to "Did you receive the gift I sent you?"  They still may not say thanks, but to imply that they owe you thanks (although they do) is rude.

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• Maggie0829 member

  

  October 2012

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_can-i-ask-bride-and-groom-if-they-received-the-gift-we-sent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:a9410559-bbcb-452d-a3f5-aa6239c41dc8Post:f17da6c2-c5a7-4f2a-ab94-0ce109bdbd8a">Re: Can I ask bride and groom if they received the gift we sent?</a>:
  [QUOTE]<strong>I don't know where the fallacy that couples have a year to send out TYs came from, but it's wrong</strong>.  OP, if you don't have a tracking number, I'd wait until the end of October and ask then.  At that point it would have been two months since they should have received it and a nionth past their wedding.
  Posted by DramaGeek[/QUOTE]
  
  I think it comes from the same place where people have a year to give a wedding gift to the bride and groom.
  
  I think both thinkings are dumb BTW.  Thank you notes should not take a couple that long to get out and if you are going to get a couple a gift why wait to give it to them months after their wedding is over with.

  
  

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• Maggie0829 member

  

  October 2012

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_can-i-ask-bride-and-groom-if-they-received-the-gift-we-sent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:a9410559-bbcb-452d-a3f5-aa6239c41dc8Post:fd605c41-45e2-4a7a-99da-213346a867c0">Re:Can I ask bride and groom if they received the gift we sent?</a>:
  [QUOTE]In Response to Re:Can I ask bride and groom if they received the gift we sent?: Actually, it comes from people confusing it WITH the "one year to send a gift" rule. I have never ever anywhere seen a year to write a TY note. The longest I have seen stated by an actual etiquette source is 3 months, which I still think is too long.
  Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]
  
  Ah, ok then that has happened in my head.  I still think the "one year rule to send a gift" is a bit redic.  I also immensely side-eyed the couple that finally sent out their TY notes 11 months after the wedding, even when I thought that they were in the "ok etiquette" area.

  
  

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• Summer2011Bride member

  

  October 2012

  If the wedding was just on Saturday, I wouldn't even consider asking if they received it for a couple months. In my circle, it's typical and accepted to send TY notes within 2 or so months of the wedding. Generally that is seen as acceptable etiquette as well. I don't think even two weeks is a fair amount of time to wait. If they went on any sort of HM after the wedding and knowing that they have a lot of notes to write out, I don't think it's realistic to expect them to write them all out within two weeks of the wedding.
  
  But, if it was me, I would probably never ask outright if they got it. We have gone to weddings where we never received a TY note. Yes, that's poor etiquette, but I'm also not going to point out someone else's poor etiquette. Now if you're honestly worried they may have not gotten it, sometime in the future, I might just ask casually, "Have you gotten a chance to use your wine opener yet?" (or whatever the gift was) if it makes sense in conversation. If they say yes or something along the lines of receiving it, then you know. I wouldn't come out and say, "hey, did you ever get my gift?"

  
  
  
  
  

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• theelusive1

  

  October 2012

  yes you can and I would do it now since most the companies have a time that you can complain.   call them now.  say I just wanted to make sure your gift got there at the end of aug,  I did not get the delivery confirmation and wanted to make sure it was there or I would call the company.   say nothing of a thank you a lot of people dont send them anymore.  sad but true.

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