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Trouble in the Bridal Party

shwinkle91shwinkle91
First Comment
in Wedding Party
I asked my two best friends to be my bridesmaids along with my sister and future sister-in-law. I know that at least three of them are on a tight budget, so I looked all over for a cheaper dress that still fit with my idea for dresses. I finally found a dress that I thought was very reasonable on price and asked them to have the dress ordered at least 5 months before the wedding as they are floor length and all my girls are on the shorter side. Now, it's the 5 month mark, and two of them are telling me they will have their dress ordered by the wedding but can't at the present time. The dress has now been discontinued and there are only so many dresses in my color in each size. I'm afraid that they will be sold out of the sizes the girls need by the time they get around to ordering and it has been stressing me out. I feel like I have done as much as I can to make an affordable choice for them, even going as far as telling them to find one they can afford and just let me know. My fiance and I have offered to pay for the dresses now and let them pay us back when they can, the money will be coming out of our honeymoon fund, and neither of them have responded.

Also, I was the maid-of-honur for one of them and was going to be a bridesmaid in the other's wedding (it was canceled), and I spent way more on the dresses for their weddings and helped much more than they have. Is it so much of me to ask for even a little in return?
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Re: Trouble in the Bridal Party

  • shwinkle91shwinkle91
    First Comment
    The problem is that they said they would be able to order and pay for their dresses when I picked it out. I know it is still plenty of time, but with it being discontinued they might not be able to get it in their size. I asked them if they would rather order a different dress in the same style and color, but they can not afford the regular price dresses. 
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    I'd ask them to tell you what their respective budgets are now, then choose a dress that the one with the lower budget can afford, and give them a deadline for getting the dress.  You shouldn't kick them out of your wedding party, but make it clear that if they expect to be in it, then they will have to buy the dresses by the deadline.

    That said, the only things bridesmaids are really "required" to do is show up on time, wear the dress, and have a good attitude.  It's not really reasonable to "expect" more from them than that.  The fact that you did more at their weddings than they're doing for you shouldn't be a factor in this because there isn't supposed to be quid pro quo.
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  • shwinkle91shwinkle91
    First Comment
    I have asked privately, and they both said they would have the dress by the wedding. This issue is just stressing me out. I'm trying not to be a bridezilla about anything and trying very hard not to be rude. I asked them to be bridemaids because they both mean a lot to me, I don't want to ask them not to be in the wedding. I've looked at a lot of discount/department stores and unfortunatly can not find a dress in the right color/length/style. We are ordering the dresses through David's Bridal and they have sales all the time, but the dresses that are similar to the one I chose are no where close to the same price or cheaper.
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  • shwinkle91shwinkle91
    First Comment
    I did not set the date originally, the store did. They told us when we picked out dresses to have them ordered by the end of September. The dress is on sale for $70 and it is almost impossible to find a bridesmaids dress cheaper than that. I did offer to pay for them now and let them pay me back eventually, but no response. They have to option of picking a different dress, but they haven't. I've been looking at department stores and have been unable to find a dress in the right color/lenght/style that is not more expensive than the dress I've already picked.
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  • shwinkle91shwinkle91
    First Comment
    Just so everyone knows, in case you are wondering, everyone has their dresses ordered. I talked to the two girls who did not have them ordered and I apoligized for being on their butts about it, and explained why I was so upset. They both apoligized for not ordering them sooner and we all talked about a few things that had come between us. Everything is good now, and  I am buying their shoes, accessories, and paying for hair and make-up, if they want it.
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