Addressing - no inner envelope

Britopher · August 2009

We are addressing the outer envelopes (we don't have inner envelopes) for the invitations and I have three questions:1. Is it ok to address "Mr. John Doe and Guest" on the outer envelope? We have a handful of guests who will be allowed a guest, even though they're not dating anyone. On our reply card, it will say "We have reserved __ seats in your honor" and we will fill in the blank with a 2. Should we just address to "Mr. John Doe" and let the reply card clarify whether or not the invitee gets a guest?2. I know "etiquette" says to list the names of invitees in alphabetical order on two separate lines i.e. Mr. Alan Deer and Ms. Melissa Doebut I've been planning on listing the name of the person with the closer relationship to us (i.e. Melissa Doe is my best friend from high school or a blood relative and Alan Deer is her boyfriend of a year). Do you think, then, that it would be okay to address them:Ms. Melissa Doeand Mr. Alan Deer??? Our wedding invitations are more casual and the wedding itself has a mix of traditional and nontraditional elements. Thanks for your help!

Kati0105 · August 2009

1. Yes, just do Mr. John Doe on the envelope.2. I think it's fine to put your friend before her boyfriend. Lose the "and" though.

mwhitson14 · August 2009

It's fine!

vallyhoo · August 2009

2. I know "etiquette" says to list the names of invitees in alphabetical order on two separate lines i.e.I believe you are supposed to list the woman's name first and if they are married they go on the same line.If they are not married, put the woman's name on the first line and the man's name on the second line - no "and" is necessary on the second line.

ring_pop · August 2009

1. For those unspecified guests, I think "and guest" is fine2. I'd also go with the closer friend first. Etiquette states that you should not use "and" for unmarrieds, but I did anyway. So it would beMs. Melissa DoeMr. Alan DeerAddress

SwedishChick2011 · August 2009

I've heard that you're not supposed to put "and Guest" on the outer envelope. However, we did it anyway and the earth continued to spin on its axis.Also, I think Ms. Melissa Doeand Mr. Alan Deeris fine.

Golfer'sLady · August 2009

1. I would address it to Mr. John Doe and then let them know personally or indicate as you said with the RSVP card that they are welcome to bring a guest. Then they can add in the guests name when they RSVP. 2. The order of names is always "ladies first" unless it is with a same sex couple, then I'd do alphabetical. So even if you knew Alan Deer better than Melissa Doe I'd address it:Ms. Melissa Doe Mr. Alan DeerOnly include "and" if they are married.This site is helpful with other addressing questions:http://tinyurl.com/45bxq2

Soon-to-be Mrs. Vogt · August 2009

1. I would put Mr. John Doe on the invite and stick a note inside that says he is welcome to bring a guest and to please RSVP with his/her name.2. I always list the woman first, regardless of the relationship. But, if they aren't maried, keep the two names on separate lines and don't use the word "and." On an envelope, and = married.

ring_pop · August 2009

lol I'm sorry, this collection of responses has been the most confusing ever.

vallyhoo · August 2009

SO true ring_pop. I think all the error messages fried my brain. I am just glad I was able to respond to this post on my first attempt.

SwedishChick2011 · August 2009

I didn't know that "and" meant married on an envelope. Good to know!

Soon-to-be Mrs. Vogt · August 2009

The problem, ring pop, is that very few of those answers are based on etiquette :)But, when a person says they're not necessarily following etiquette, there are no "right" answers, because they've already said they're not following the "right answer.

Britopher · August 2009

Wow, thank you all so much for such quick replies! I also didn't know that "and" = "married," though, regardless of what we end up doing, I like the little reminder that the earth will still spin on its axis and that we shouldn't lend as much thought/weight to these questions as we (or, at least I) sometimes do!I think I'll address the envelopes like this:- For singles with guests I'll label on the outer envelope "Mr. John Doe and Guest"- For couples with diff last names, I'll list according to "closest" relationship, i.e.: Ms. Melissa Doe Mr. Alan Deer- and for married couples: Mr. and Mrs. Alan and Melissa DoeThanks for you help everyone!

mwhitson14 · August 2009

I just realized I only have like two words on my response, effin TK errors!But you got your question answered, sorry for my incomplete post!

kurth6 · August 2009

Does ettiquette state you should use "Mr and Mrs John Doe"? or can you write it as John and Jane Doe?What about using address labels? Or is it too impersonal? Help!!!

Addressing - no inner envelope

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