B-Party invite but no wedding invite?

meganrosej · August 2009

Do you all think it is rude to invite someone to your bachelorette party but not to the wedding? I have a somewhat new friend that I want to invite to my bachelorette party which is coming up soon, but I haven't invited her to the wedding. The reason I haven't is that we only recently became better friends, and she is moving to Oregon at the end of this month to start a new job, so she won't be around for the wedding anyway. I wouldn't want her to spend the money to fly back here, and I certainly don't want her to get us a gift, she hasn't even met FI.

Gladiola09 · August 2009

Hi Megan,Strict ettiquete dictates that we should only invite to pre-wedding events people whom we intend to aso include at our wedding. Even if she is unable to attend, she will be left wondering why she didn't receive an invitation (a courtesy invittion, perhaps). That said, you never know: what if she would surprise you and actually fly for the wedding (or make a trip around your event)? She won't see the invitation as an obligation to attend or get you a gift, but she will see the lack of an invitation as puzzling. Unless, maybe you talk to her frankly and explain...Good luck!

reddie36 · August 2009

I don't think it's rude or bad etiquitte. The wedding shower is one thing - the b-party is another! Yes, you should only invite those who are invited to the wedding to the shower, but for the b-party I have read, and also peronally think, that you can invite whoever you want even if they are not invited to the wedding.

jlmowris · August 2009

I would stick with wedding etiquette on this one. A friend of mine had a small wedding but invited everyone to her bachelorette party. Everyone who didn't receive a wedding invite was furious and kept talking about how tacky it was. I had never thought about it but after seeing how sensitive everyone was with her, I wouldn't dream of doing the same.

sweetscarlet · August 2009

I'm with Gladiola on this one.

shanwalk2 · August 2009

I think it's rude to invite anyone to pre-wedding events: showers, b-parties without a wedding invite.

somethingsweeting · August 2009

I'm going to branch off this one - I grew up in Houston, but haven't lived there in many, many years. My family no longer lives there either, but my godmother still does. She wants to throw me a shower in Houston for the people I went to church with as a kid.Do I need to invite those people to my Austin wedding?

meganrosej · August 2009

Thanks for the input. Looks like the consensus is not to invite her unless I invite her to the wedding. Now I guess I just need to decide if we can invite her!

MnMShaw · August 2009

Ditto reddie. I think the shower is a big no no, but I don't necessarily feel that way about bachelorette parties but I think it is really up to you and whether you think this will hurt her feelings. For example, I started a new job after I had already started planning and after I already had a set guest list. But then, there were several ppl at my new job that I got along with so well and we became good friends. I invited some of them to my bachelorette party because they wanted to come hang out but weren't upset at all that they weren't invited to the wedding.

B-Party invite but no wedding invite?

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