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Wedding Recap and Withdrawal

My E-Ring...

It’s been two years since I received it and I’m still not happy with my engagement ring L My now-hubby does not want me to get it changed. I love the diamond and the style, but the setting is too high and it gets caught it everything. It also spins around like crazy. It’s beautiful but it’s just not practical and I want both. Something delicate and pretty, not bold and flashy.  All I know is when I get home I can’t wait to take off my engagement ring L  My wedding band…I love.  But the E-ring is just too uncomfortable to wear. How do I get the ring that I want? I’m so upset about this.

Re: My E-Ring...

  • The first thing you need to do is really talk to your husband about this seriously.  Because this would be something he might take very personally and you have to be sure he's on the same page with you so it doesn't cause hurt feelings and drama.  My second suggestion is that instead of purchasing a new diamond, you purchase a new setting.  It would be so much cheaper and you could get a lower setting that is more your style.  Thirdly, to keep it from spinning on my finger, I got these two little "balls" added inside.  Now, it never spins anymore whereas before, it was constantly spinning.  If you have a large knuckle but a skinny finger, it's always recommended to do that no matter what the setting.  
  • He's already upset about it. Last year I told him seriously and he just lost it. I guess I have no choice but to live with it.

  • Have you suggested to him just getting a lower setting?  Tell him that you are at more of a risk of losing the diamond and the prongs becoming loose if you keep catching it on things.  I can understand him being upset because I'm sure he put a ton of time and consideration into the ring he picked out.  If he still gets upset, try the ball thing as PP said. 
    image BabyFruit Ticker
  • Maybe you could do a little research into a similar ring but with a lower setting where there is metal around the diamond rather than it being in prongs so it's safer and it doesn't spin.  When you talk to him about it, you need to put emphasis on how much you love the diamond itself and how beautiful it is and how you're glad he spent so much time picking out a nice diamond but you need it to be safer.  A new setting shouldn't cost much at all compared to a new ring.  Make sure when you tell him that you say all the positives first and tell him how much you love him and how sentimental the ring is to you.  
  • If you were to get a lower setting without him knowing, would he notice if it looked almost identical to your current setting? Is it an option to get it done without him knowing? You could tell him your ring was being cleaned when you didn't have it because it was being put in the new setting.....
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-recap-withdrawal_e-ring?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:12Discussion:a718abb0-21f3-472c-9eca-41bfd30e334dPost:c4e5833a-b57d-4805-acc6-e0da1bedf441">Re: My E-Ring...</a>:
    [QUOTE]If you were to get a lower setting without him knowing, would he notice if it looked almost identical to your current setting? Is it an option to get it done without him knowing? You could tell him your ring was being cleaned when you didn't have it because it was being put in the new setting.....
    Posted by stephasuasu[/QUOTE]

     Lying to your spouse = BAD idea.
  • I agree. Lying = bad idea. Which is why I have told him upfront, how I feel. The problem is the jeweler is a family member of his and so not only is DH defensive about it, but he's probably worried about getting his family involved. (None of what he's feeling has been vocalized though. He just gets miffed when it is brought up and basicallly shuts down and doesn't say anything).

    He did say last night, when I approached him about it, that I can do whatever I want. "Sure, go to the other jeweler and have them re-do it" but then he'll throw zingers in like, is this the right time because we should save, etc. Then he'll say "just don't wear the ring. Just wear your band." But I WANT to wear the ring!! He spent a lot of money on the diamon and the setting is beautiful but just too heavy and thick and high. I would opt for the same design but thinner band and less height. 
  • You should definitely go to a different jeweler to get it reset.  It honestly shouldn't cost more than a couple hundred dollars to get another setting unless you're getting platinum or something.  
  • now your husband is just sounding rude and controlling. Just go get it done at another jeweler.
  • I was going to go platinum....LOL. My current setting is platinum (maybe that's why DH is mad about it).
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-recap-withdrawal_e-ring?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:12Discussion:a718abb0-21f3-472c-9eca-41bfd30e334dPost:1b75b975-4687-4385-9c88-911400600937">Re: My E-Ring...</a>:
    [QUOTE]now your husband is just sounding rude and controlling. Just go get it done at another jeweler.
    Posted by stephasuasu[/QUOTE]

    Honestly thats 2 pieces of bad advice from you.  Are you married already?  I just don't understand how a married woman or anyone in a serious relationship would promote lying and going behind his back. 

    OP- I would take your H with you and go to another jeweler to ask how much it would be to change the setting.  Gold is so expensive anymore that it could be quite a bit.  But maybe the can use the band you already have, or sell that gold.  You could always go to the original jeweler too to get a quote on it.  Your H might just be assuming that you want to completely change the ring, so if he goes with you and hears exactly what you're thinking he would probably come around.
    image BabyFruit Ticker
  • Thanks, DN. I suggested my husband come with me and he begrudgingly said yes. I think he is just really hurt that I would want to change the setting, even though I want the exact same one! Just a thinner band and a lower height!  I love the look of the ring, I just want it to be comfortable to wear. Otherwise, I would not be changing a thing about it.

    And when I tell him just that, he gets upset still. But he still agreed to go with me once things get a little less busy for us. 
  • if it is spinning alot maybe you need to get it sized down some. maybe if it fit better that way you might not dislike wearing it as much it wont be as annoying because the ring wont be sliding aorund so much.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-recap-withdrawal_e-ring?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:12Discussion:a718abb0-21f3-472c-9eca-41bfd30e334dPost:5cdc7a3f-1096-4057-a673-c01ef43cb09b">Re: My E-Ring...</a>:
    [QUOTE]if it is spinning alot maybe you need to <strong>get it sized down</strong> some. maybe if it fit better that way you might not dislike wearing it as much it wont be as annoying because the ring wont be sliding aorund so much.
    Posted by tmwanyo[/QUOTE]

    Yep. This. Also, this may help it from getting caught on things. I have to push mine to where it is slightly to the side of my finger instead of on top a lot.
    Photobucket BabyFruit Ticker
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