Guest Etiquette

asong4me · August 2009

My fiance and I are both in greek organizations, and we feel that it would be rude not to invite all our brothers and sisters to our wedding, is it rude to ask some of them to not bring a date? Or should we just secretly hope that some of them don't? Because there are ALOTof people that we are needing to invite, my grandmother was one of 9 children... So I have ALOT of family.

sucrets4 · August 2009

It's more rude to invite them without a date. If you are tight on space/$, don't invite any of them.

salt78 · August 2009

You could just do a +1 for those people that are in serious relationships or married, but I would still reconsider this. Your guest list is going to be out of control. BTW I was greek and if not inviting my entire sorority is rude, then I must be rude then.

danieliza1127 · August 2009

Unless you have a huge budget, it's best to keep your guest list to close friends only rather than ALL of your greek "brothers and sisters". If any of them have long-term boyfriends/girlfriends, live-ins, are married or engaged, you HAVE to include them. If they are truly single, then no you don't have to give them an "& Guest".

TheSaltyPeanut · August 2009

This would be very rude not to mention tacky. Invite who you can and plan for 100% to show up. I was greek in college too. From my experience, it is very unrealistic to invite every single "brother" and "sister." No one else did either.

bombtones · August 2009

You should invite people with dates if they are married/engaged/or in a serious relationship.I would think about maybe cutting down the greek friends. What about just your pledge classes and a few closer friends? How often do you really keep in touch with each one? And why do you need to invite your grandmothers siblings? That seems a little extended to me unless they were an important part in your life.It sounds like you will need to make some serious cuts.

MarTar2009 · August 2009

First off, I think this is a dumb question. Why don't you just invite the people you want to invite? It is better to have friends and family at your wedding who you actually see and talk to.FI is in a Greek organization... if he invited all of his "brothers" and gave each a date, there would be an additional 100 people there. You should ask youself how big of a wedding you want?

betrothed123 · August 2009

You only need to invite dates if they are in a serious, long-term relationship. However, if you choose to skip inviting guests of those not in serious relationships, you have to apply that rule evenly across to board. So if you don't invite a sorority sister/fraternity brother's gf/BF, then you can't invite cousin john's gf either.

StacylovesAdam · August 2009

If you really want them there and they all know each other than invite them with no date. It isn't rude at all. I would only do this with your friends who are not dating anyone serious though. If they have been dating someone for a long time than yes I would invite those certain people with a guest but just because you give 1 or 2 ppl a guest doesn't mean you have to give everyone a guest.If anyone says anything to you just explain to them that you wanted all of them there but the budget didn't allow everyone with a guest. Good Luck!

aimerzkd214 · August 2009

It would be better to invite some with dates than to invite everybody without dates. BTW my FI and i are both greek and we are not inviting all of our brothers and sisters. Only invitee the ones you are actually close too.

pinkiemo · August 2009

i agree with the pp, FI and I were both greek but there is no way we were inviting every single member to the wedding, close friends only. also, I was invited to the sisters' weddings with whom I was close, but was not invited to many others and never thought twice about it. same with FI. really, unless you have remained in constant close contact with ALL your sisters, they won't mind.

bel138 · August 2009

FI only invited his littles because those are the only guys he is really close with.

duckie1905 · August 2009

First of all, I question your logic. Why is it rude to not invite all of your brothers and sisters? You should invite those that you are close to. If DH would've invited all of his brothers that would have been over 100 people. Why would you invite people that you don't know that well simply because they belong to the same organization as you?Second, if you do invite them, any that are in a serious or long-term relationship must be invited with their partner.

tbh33 · August 2009

FI and I are both greek. I'm inviting one girl from mine who is actually in the wedding because I'm just not that close to anyone else and our house mom because she was AWESOME. FI's fraternity was much smaller, and he is much closer to the guys in his fraternity. However, we still aren't inviting everyone. I think we will invite some of the alumni that we have always hung out with and most of his pledge class. I definitely don't feel bad. I have a huge family too. Both of my grandfathers were 1 of 8 so like you a lot of family, and yes I do actually see most of these great aunts multiple times a year so WILL be invited. I know that 10 years down the road I would be more upset that aunt Susie wasn't there, but I have tons of pictures with girls that I don't remember their name. But I do understand how OP feels. In FI's frat, usually a blanket invite is sent for the whole fraternity. Too bad, we aren't doing that. We just really don't want some of them there.

tlv204 · August 2009

I'm trying to imagine inviting everyone from my sorority. First of all, everyone from which year? I invited most people from my pledge class, but if I invited everyone who was SK when I was a freshman up to when I was a senior, it would have been an extra 200 people. Also, no I don't think it's rude to invite people without a guest as long as they are truly single, but if you do this be prepared to have people complain or not understand and try to invite a date anyway.

asong4me · August 2009

Thanks for all the comments! Let me clarify though, we are both part of a smaller music fraternities (SAI and PMA).... there are like 20 in my chapter and like 27 in his, THAT is why we feel like it might be rude not... because they are so small.

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