ceremony help

Re: ceremony help

• Riss91 member

  

  July 2011 edited December 2011

  Hey there! I think really you and your fiance need to be honest with your families. This is your wedding ceremony and if neither of you subscribe to a religion, it is actually inappropriate for you to have a religious ceremony, simply to please others.
  
  I know it is really difficult to handle your families, but the best thing for you and your fiance is to tell your parents that you do not feel comfortable having elements in your ceremony that are part of a religion you do not believe in. It is dishonest and disrespectful to do so. If you give into them now, then every instance where religion is involved in the future will continue to be an issue.
  
  If you both have religious inclinations, I would begin researching other religions and possibly find one that is more closely in line with your beliefs. Then you can have your ceremony based off of that.
  
  There's really not much that is considered "Catholic" that can be incorporated into a non-Catholic ceremony. You could always use passages from the Bible and base your vows off of the Catholic vows, but as a Catholic, if I attended a secular ceremony that utilized these elements, I would find it a bit odd.
  
  I truly hope you're able to work things out with your family and have a ceremony that reflects you and fiance and your beliefs. Best wishes!
  

  
  

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• caitriona87 member

  

  July 2011 edited December 2011

  If his parents are upset that you are getting married outside the Church, it is likely because the marriage will not be recognized by the Church. No amount of externally Catholic-looking elements will change that fact. I have actually heard that sometimes families are insulted by the inclusion of such elements and the implication that they are only interested in the outward appearance of things, or worse, they see it as a mockery.  Not sure if his family would be in that category, but it's a possibility to consider. 
  
  That said, Riss gave you good advice--best to be honest with them about your inclinations.
  

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• garzal member

  

  July 2011 edited December 2011

  As much as I understand your inclination to want to please his family, I think it's best to have your ceremony be celebrated in its own unique way.  Practicing catholics view marriage as something very sacred because it's considered one of the sacraments.  If his family members are devout Catholics, they won't acknowledge a Catholic-like ceremony the same as a mass.  Additionally, I think they would respect your marriage ceremony more if it didn't try to mimic a Catholic mass. Good luck with planning for your marriage ceremony

  

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