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Wedding Etiquette Forum

Mom says I need to take the whole week off before the wedding?

I had a weird call with my mom last night, and I'm not sure if she's got a point or if she's worrying for nothing. She wants me to take the whole week preceding the wedding off from a position I'll be starting on the 31st of this month. I think that's too much time to take off and unnecessary. She says I'll be useless on the job anyway because I'll "be a wreck", and that there's just too much to do to get ready for the wedding. Part of what she thinks there is to do isn't applicable (and I'm not sure why she thought it was), like she thought we had to decorate the church and that we had to assemble the centerpieces and set-up/decorate the reception site. (We don't -- the florist and the reception venue staff handle that stuff). Unless I'm missing something.... the dress is done at that point, the appointments are made etc. There shouldn't still be that much still left to handle, right? I am inclined to think that having something to do that is not wedding related will keep me from sitting in a corner and chewing on my hair having an anxiety-riddled freak out for a week.
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Re: Mom says I need to take the whole week off before the wedding?

  • How many DIY projects do you have ?When do your guests start arriving in town ?Are there events ect leading up in your family ?
  • I took off the day before the wedding becuase I had to set up our ceremony site.  We had to put up the tent, chairs, arbor, etc.  It was more than enough time.  I think I would have gone crazy if I had taken the whole week off.  Plus, my job really needed me,  They were already losing me for a week straight.  2 would have been a bit much.
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  • I only took off one day. My parents also thought I was weird. You're right in that there wasn't that much to do that I needed a whole week off... on the other hand, I was SO excited that I was pretty much useless all week anyway. I wasn't a wreck though. Just excited.
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  • I wouldn't take that much time off work from a new job - and even then, it would be a waste of leave.  Our wedding was on a Sunday.  We took the Friday off, because we had a lot of DIY stuff to finish, had family coming in, and the rehearsal that night.   We had plenty of time.
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  • I'm only taking Thursday and Friday off.  And the Thursday is only because we're moving so I want to finalize things and make sure things I need are in the right house. I don't think an entire week is necessary unless you're doing a TON of DIY stuff. GL!
  • It mostly depends on how much you leave to the last minute - like seating charts, place cards, programs, little things like that.  For me, I only took off 2 days before the wedding and that was plenty of time.
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  • I only took a week off because the boat was out of the water anyway.  Plus we were OOT and needed to be at our location for license requirements.   I didn't need that time off at all.  I mostly  sociallized with all my guests (we were all OOT).  (I have to say I didn't have much DIY stuff, so that helped)My sister only took the friday off because of her job.  My BFF took 1.5 days off before.Most of our DW brides show up 2 days before the wedding. 






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  • [i]I am inclined to think that having something to do that is not wedding related will keep me from sitting in a corner and chewing on my hair having an anxiety-riddled freak out for a week. [/i] Yeah I am inclined to think that as well. A week is a long time, especially if you are just starting a new job. I'm taking off 4 days before the wedding because I have no choice (residency requirements for a DW).
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  • I'm taking off Wednesday to Wednesday.  I would rather take days off from work, and get ahead with school stuff.
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  • There are no DIY projects, because I'm about as crafty and artistically gifted as a color blind chimp. No pre-wedding events other than the rehearsal on Thurs night, but it's just for the BP (which is very very small, maybe 12 ppl total at the dinner including all the parents, spouses and FI and me). So the dinner is just at a nearby restaurant and will be extremely low key/casual. OOT guests will start to arrive on Friday night.
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  • I was off a week beforehand, but that's because school ended so I wasn't taking vacation days.  Honestly, it was too much free time.  I would have liked to do something other than wedding stuff.  I think a day or two beforehand is more than enough if you don't have a bunch of projects to finish.
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  • H and I both took the whole week off. I finished DIY projects by Tuesday of that week, then he and I traveled around the state to visit our guests who came into town. They were all leaving while we were on the honeymoon, so we wanted to spend quality time with them. We also made it a point to have a date before the wedding to enjoy each other before the craze. It was the best decision for us.
  • Ok, well I feel better about telling mom she was off her rocker. I work from home 2 days a week anyway, maybe I'll just front load my office time that week so I can work from home Thurs & Fri. There's no way I'm taking that whole week off. I'd go crazy at home alone. I'm already taking the following Monday and Tuesday because I had committed to a conference out of state before the new job thing came up.
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  • I only took one day off before the wedding, and it worked out just fine.  I didn't want to waste my vacation days for no reason.
  • [i]I work from home 2 days a week anyway, maybe I'll just front load my office time that week so I can work from home Thurs & Fri. [/i] This sounds like a very good plan.
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  • I'm taking the whole week before off, too. Not because of DIY projects, but because I know myself well enough to know I'm going to be completely useless at work, anyway. We're off the Monday before the wedding for Columbus Day, so I thought -- well, why not take off the rest of the week? I don't think it's necessary, but I would at least take off the last part of the week beforehand -- get some rest, (try to) relax -- also, last minute things will probably pop up.
  • I took off the day before the wedding because I had to finish the wedding cake. Had I not done the cake myself, I wouldn't have needed to take any time off beforehand at all. By that point, everything should be pretty much done.
  • Most of my friends are arriving Wed. before the wedding, so I'm taking off Tues - Fri, probably. Then I have to wait until Dec. for a honeymoon, so I'll take a week then. Mostly just because I have three weeks of vacation I'm going to lose 12.31 if I don't. And because I'm killing myself at this job and people keep taking advantage of me, so it'll do them good to be without me for a couple of weeks when I'm completely disconnected (I worked through the only vacation I've ever taken from here. FI was not happy.)
  • I took Thursday and Friday off before my Saturday wedding.  Thursday was my mad rush to get everything dropped off in the right place...all the stuff to the reception site (toasting flutes, cake knife/server, favors, seating plan, place cards, table runners, etc.).  I also had to get 40 OOT baskets to the hotel.  There were just a lot of little things to do that day.  Had to pick up one of my BMs at the airport.  It all added up to a very busy day.Friday was my day to relax.  Two of my BMs came with me to get manis/pedis in the morning.  Then we had lunch and went swimming at my parents' pool.  We then got ready to go to the rehearsal & rehearsal dinner.
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  • seems pointless.  i took the three days off before my wedding ONLY becuase my sister was here from 3000 miles away and i dont get to see her much.  otherwise, i woudl have worked probably until noon the friday  before.
  • I'm probably taking 2 days off.  I do have to travel to the city where the wedding will be, otherwise I'd just take one.  I don't want to use valuable vacation time on pre-wedding stuff, I want to use it for the honeymoon. 
  • I will probably take off the Thursday and Friday before the Saturday wedding. I will want part of that time to completely clean my house. I think I will feel better if I do that.
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  • It depends on how many last minute things you have to complete that week before the wedding day. Maybe you could just take the 2 days off prior? My days off are Thur/Fri, so those are the only 2 days I'm taking off before the wedding. I get off at 2:30 everyday so if there are things I need to get done I can do them after work.
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  • I'm taking the entire week of the wedding off, for the simple reason that FI can only take his vacation in one-week chunks, and the wedding is on a Friday.  Since he'll be off for the whole week, I might as well also.  I don't anticipate having nearly enough wedding stuff left to do to fill the week, so we're just going to kick back, watch some movies, maybe take a day trip or something.With such a new job, though, I wouldn't risk taking that much time before the wedding if I were you.
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  • I'm taking the Weds and Thurs before my Friday wedding off.  Weds will be spent cleaning our apartment because we're leaving for our honeymoon two days after the wedding, and doing the favors and other little stuff.  Thurs I'm taking my BMs to a spa to relax before the wedding and going to the reception hall to set up chairs, sashes, the escort cards, etc.  Then I'm taking two weeks off for my honeymoon.  
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  • Wow... I don't think I could go away for two weeks. I didn't even take two weeks vacation when I had my son! I'd probably end up working the whole time from where ever I was at :)
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  • Yeah I work for a big company so luckily I have people crosstrained to do my work.  And I'm getting married during slow season - if my wedding was a winter wedding there's no way I could take that much time off.
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