Marriage before the wedding to help pay for school??

katiekate2007 · March 2010

So I only have a year of school left and 1 1/2 years until our wedding. I am still considered a dependent student for financial aid even though we bought a house together and I haven't lived w/my parents in over 2 years. I am contemplating getting legally married before filing FAFSA this year to help get money for school and then still having the wedding on the original date. That way, I will be considered independent. Any opinions or help with this?

JustPeachy89 · March 2010

FAFSA basis it's decisions on how much income is available to you. So see who makes more. If it's your FI and you then hold off till after the wedding, if it's your parents then tell them to stop claiming you as a dependent on their taxes before you get married or fill out your FAFSA. Hope this helps. and good luck

schadbourne · March 2010

i was seriously thinking about this, i know we make less money than my parents so it would help a lot, let me know how it works out for you

splashmadison · March 2010

I am having this same problem! But my wedding is in May so I am just going to wait to fill out my FAFSA (risky I know) until after we're married. It's really quite ridiculous that you can't claim independent unless you are 24, married, or have kids...the only other option is legally emancipated. It really frustrated me.

So...If this would help you moneywise I would do it. People would understand. Life happens.

lisarose7 · March 2010

FAFSA looks at your tax return as well...and they might not consider your marriage if you filed your taxes as "single" for 2009. I'm well over 24, so I have the opposite problem...I'm trying to put off declaring FI's income for as long as I can.

ipwtfa91 · March 2010

Krissy is right. My sister had her son at age 21 and she still couldn't get any financial aid until she moved out of my parents' house, which sucked because she really needed their help raising him, but she needed the money for school.

katiekate2007 · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_students_marriage-before-wedding-pay-school?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:684Discussion:a0060296-c837-41ba-a59e-eaaaf9a99455Post:b7d8ce04-24b0-4d22-8a5a-89fc2134c3ad">Re: Marriage before the wedding to help pay for school??</a>:
[QUOTE]Would your guests think it was a real wedding, or would they know that you are already married and that this was just a reception to celebrate?
Posted by LauraT25[/QUOTE]

Well that's one of the reason's that I don't know if I wanna do it or not. I want to be able to have like the whole "wedding" experience. It wouldn't feel right if we were already married. It would be like renewing our vows or something.

katiekate2007 · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_students_marriage-before-wedding-pay-school?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:684Discussion:a0060296-c837-41ba-a59e-eaaaf9a99455Post:16c2c73c-4a06-4d04-9218-155454502442">Re: Marriage before the wedding to help pay for school??</a>:
[QUOTE]Krissy is right. My sister had her son at age 21 and she still couldn't get any financial aid until she moved out of my parents' house, which sucked because she really needed their help raising him, but she needed the money for school.
Posted by ipwtfa91[/QUOTE]

Hmmm...idk. I read somewhere on the FAFSA last year when I filed about having any dependents under you that you take care of. Maybe it doesn't make you independent. Kinda shitty how the whole system works if you ask me.

nhand2206 · March 2010

Like previous posters said, FAFSA does not care whether your parents are claiming you on their taxes, whether they help you with school, or anything like that. If you are unmarried or under 24 you are required to provide your parent's income, which will be considered in how much financial aid you will receive.

On the other hand, taxes make a big difference for you if your parents do not claim you as a dependent. Assuming you work, it would be very much to your benefit financially to be an independent. Being married typically helps you save more money with taxes as well.

So, bottom line: being married helps with both taxes and with FAFSA. If you need the money that badly I would seriously consider doing it. Don't worry about it feeling like "renewing your vows." Doing it out of necessity doesn't negate your planned out event later on.

wcvsb3b5 · March 2010

The day you legally get married is your wedding. So if you get married before what you are calling the wedding it would actually be considered a vow renewal (which generally don't take place until years after the first one). I understand that this could save you a lot of money (and it is very tempting) but it would be completely wrong to let your guests think that they are coming to see you get married when in actuality you are already married. I think you should make a decision about what is more important (get married now and get more financial aid, or get married later and use your parents on your fafsa).. GL with you decision.

WildRumpus · March 2010

You get one day. If you decide to get married so you can get more money for school, fine, that's your wedding. You don't get to get married and then have a pretty princess day later.

btrflykate1230 · March 2010

You have the wedding on the day you get married or not at all. Done. End of story. Otherwise you run the risk of looking really really tacky, and for what? To get some extra money from your FASFA? Not worth it. Don't do this.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_students_marriage-before-wedding-pay-school?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:684Discussion:a0060296-c837-41ba-a59e-eaaaf9a99455Post:356c91d9-4172-4806-82fb-f8d32674567a">Re: Marriage before the wedding to help pay for school??</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Marriage before the wedding to help pay for school?? : Well that's one of the reason's that I don't know if I wanna do it or not. I want to be able to have like the whole "wedding" experience. It wouldn't feel right<strong> if we were already married. It would be like renewing our vows or something.</strong>
Posted by katiekate2007[/QUOTE]

<div>Yes, it WOULD be renewing your vows. You get married when you sign the paperwork. Anything else is a vow renewal. </div><div>
</div><div>If you lie to your guests they will eventually find out and it will not be pretty. </div><div>
</div><div>If you want to get married for tax purposes, forget about the wedding. If you need the money so bad, don't spend it on a big party! JOP it and have dinner with your family afterward. </div><div>
</div><div>I think it is really AWish to have a big wedding when you aren't even really getting married. And it will feel like a sham. Because that's what it is.</div>

nda_roxybabe · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_students_marriage-before-wedding-pay-school?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:684Discussion:a0060296-c837-41ba-a59e-eaaaf9a99455Post:6ff08370-245f-4dbc-a9e4-27a4e8482f21">Re: Marriage before the wedding to help pay for school??</a>:
[QUOTE]I did it. I'm having a wedding in August and I got legally married by a magistrate in January. It wasn't for FAFSA, though, it was to get in-state tuition, because my partner is already a resident for tuition purposes and I'd get in-state status if we were married. We told both our parents, and told them to keep it a secret, but they told a few more people. I was worried my out-of-town guests would be less likely to come if they knew we were already technically married, but it seemed worth it to me, because we will save several thousand dollars. And for the wedding, we are just telling people we're getting legally married just before the wedding because we wanted a friend to be able to officiate. Don't know if that helps, because the situation is different, but I can say I've done it and I feel good about it. Good luck!
Posted by mseltman[/QUOTE]

Uh what? So you're lying to all your guest? That's awfully shitty

[Deleted User] · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_students_marriage-before-wedding-pay-school?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:684Discussion:a0060296-c837-41ba-a59e-eaaaf9a99455Post:6ff08370-245f-4dbc-a9e4-27a4e8482f21">Re: Marriage before the wedding to help pay for school??</a>:
[QUOTE] I was worried my out-of-town guests would be less likely to come if they knew we were already technically married, but it seemed worth it to me, because we will save several thousand dollars. And for the wedding, we are just telling people we're getting legally married just before the wedding because we wanted a friend to be able to officiate.
Posted by mseltman[/QUOTE]

Good lord. Thanks for giving our wonderful state a bad name. This is just awful to me. If I were one of your loved ones that you lied to, I'd be beyond pissed. What a shitty thing to do.

gailpete · March 2010

Ok, maybe I'm in a snarky mood but let me see if i've got this straight-

you want to get married now so you can get more money for financial aid- and then you want to get "married' again in a couple of years so you can get gifts (more money)?

If I were a guest at the second wedding, this is how I would be viewing it. If you want to get married now, fine have the wedding you can afford. You don't get a second wedding.

duckie1905 · March 2010

If you need the money for school so badly then just JOP it up and skip the wedding altogether. But, lying to your friends and family so you can still have your fake, blowout wedding day is not only ridiculous, it is downright cruel to those that you leave out of the loop. They'll find out and they'll be hurt by it.

I've attended vow renewals in which the couple was already legally married, for whatever reason. While I think it is a waste to get married, then pay for a party later, I respected their decision and still attended but only because they didn't lie to me.

I did go to a sham wedding in which most of the guests didn't know the couple was already married. One of the BMs let it slip at the rehearsal after a few cocktails and by the next morning every guest knew that the bride/groom were liars. The entire groom's family outside of his mom and dad literally checked out of their hotels, hopped planes, and left before the ceremony even started. Many of the bride's friends also left and did not attend. So, this couple was out the money for almost half their guestlist because they lied to people they claimed to love.

It just isn't worth it.

Blueyed228 · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_students_marriage-before-wedding-pay-school?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:684Discussion:a0060296-c837-41ba-a59e-eaaaf9a99455Post:6ff08370-245f-4dbc-a9e4-27a4e8482f21">Re: Marriage before the wedding to help pay for school??</a>:
[QUOTE]I did it. I'm having a wedding in August and I got legally married by a magistrate in January. It wasn't for FAFSA, though, it was to get in-state tuition, because my partner is already a resident for tuition purposes and I'd get in-state status if we were married. We told both our parents, and told them to keep it a secret, but they told a few more people. I was worried my out-of-town guests would be less likely to come if they knew we were already technically married, but it seemed worth it to me, because we will save several thousand dollars. And for the wedding, we are just telling people we're getting legally married just before the wedding because we wanted a friend to be able to officiate. Don't know if that helps, because the situation is different, but I can say I've done it and I feel good about it. Good luck!
Posted by mseltman[/QUOTE]

This is the most ridiculous and disgusting thing I have ever heard.

If you want to save money for school, then take a semster off, get married, and go back.

How selfish can you be? You want to save money, lie to your guests, then trick them into giving you gifts? GAH-ROS.

Grow up.

To the OP: Do you really want to start your life off together with a big fat lie? WIll you feel good about lying to your family and friends? If this is what you choose to do, you only get one chance to do it, so make sure its what you want. IF you JOP it, then thats it. No "Second wedding".

HisCB · March 2010

you bought a house together? i would imagine your income is above financial aid levels. especially adding in your FIs
last year, i, by myself, made too much to get ANYTHING from the fafsa, when i looked at buying a house, i could have only barely afforded a very mmodest house with very few other luxurys.

my advice, if you cannot afford school right now, take some time off, or cut back how many credits youre taking and go back after your wedding. or scale back the wedding so that you can afford both better.

so you can afford a house and a big wedding but you want MY tax dollars to pay for your school?
and you want me to bring a gift to your eparty, shower, wedding. no.

HisCB · March 2010

here is a link to the dependancy status worksheet.

http://www.fafsa.ed.gov/FOTWWebApp/fotw1011/WorksheetServlet;jsessionid=0001D2w987FfbR94B4nFHYVwE54:120nsl3u2

LesPaul · March 2010

So you're going to lie to your family and friends about being already married so that you get a few thousand dollars more in financial aid? Do you realize how crappy this is? And these people will find out the truth sooner or later - you will not fool them for long. An elaborate web of lies really isn't a good way to start your married life together. If you can't wait or can't afford your 'big day', then JOP your ceremony and move on. It isn't right to decieve people like that.

mnp555 · March 2010

You can't afford school, but you can afford a big wedding? Or are your parents paying for your big wedding... (seems likely). I hope my (one day) children never view me as a convenient ATM, around when they need me, absent when I interefere with their plans.

This is all kinds of wrong. PP have explained how wrong it is. You have to decide how selfish you want to be.

katiekate2007 · March 2010

First, let me clarify...i don't want to LIE to anybody. The reason I posted this was not to be criticized but to get opinions!!! I was contemplating giving up the wedding I have always dreamed of because of financial reasons for school, not to have a sham wedding or get more money at the wedding. I wondered if it would be worth giving that up just to be able to get through college. I only asked for opinions and help not for people to judge me based on an idea.
I love my family and friends and the last thing I would do is lie to them about my marriage.

wcvsb3b5 · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_students_marriage-before-wedding-pay-school?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:684Discussion:a0060296-c837-41ba-a59e-eaaaf9a99455Post:d1156e29-c695-4e15-9f16-b65540bed9ad">Re: Marriage before the wedding to help pay for school??</a>:
[QUOTE]First, let me clarify...i don't want to LIE to anybody. The reason I posted this was not to be criticized but to get opinions!!! I was contemplating giving up the wedding I have always dreamed of because of financial reasons for school, not to have a sham wedding or get more money at the wedding. I wondered if it would be worth giving that up just to be able to get through college. I only asked for opinions and help not for people to judge me based on an idea. I love my family and friends and the last thing I would do is lie to them about my marriage.
Posted by katiekate2007[/QUOTE]

I think the comments about lying were directed toward a different person's post. Now that you have clarified what it is that you want to do I can give you an opinion according to that. I think something like that would be an extremely personal decision. Determine how big of a difference it would make on your fafsa and if you will be satisfied with missing out on your dream wedding. Good luck with your decision.

disturbedkitty · March 2010

My FI and I were in a similar situation. Our parents make so much money that our EFC (Expected Family Contribution) is more than our salaries. We can't even get more than a few thousand in student loans! We can't afford the tuition for the four-year college we want to attend. Our solution? We decided to go to a community college for several years (where the stupid student loans actually amount to our tuition). We are getting married in early May 2011, filing our FAFSA the day after the wedding, and attending our four-year college Fall 2011. For us, the problem is having to list our parents information on our FAFSA. The day you get married, you are no longer required to list your parents info on your FAFSA. Our EFC will drop to a reasonable amount, and we will finally be able to get student loans (yay!). I recommend picking a wedding date at least a month before the FAFSA is due. In my state, my FAFSA isn't due until early august (I even called last year to check that the date will stay relatively the same...although I plan on double checking just before we put the deposit down on our venue!).

Just remember: you are not alone! Good luck and congrats on your wedding

sarah.liz.gray · March 2010

I have the opposite problem. We are putting off the wedding for a couple years since i can get more money without him. BUT, you can talk to the financial aid office at your school to get more guidance on this. There is a way to get declared "independant" from your parents, but they have to do something to get this declaration...so talk to FA office before you decide on anything.

ALSO, sometimes they are able to make more money available to you based on your individual situation. I visited mine after i was laid off of work and they were able to do something in the FASFA form to indicate that I was not making the money that i claimed on my taxes which was able to free up more money. I know that's not your situation, but it just goes to show that it never hurts to ask...especially for money for your education!!

mseltman · April 2010

Wow, I just looked at this again after posting that I got legally married before my big event this summer, and I see that some folks really found that objectionable.

I can defintely see how for a person who feels that the legal contract of marriage is the most important thing about a wedding, being already legally married would be a major no-no.

Luckily, for me and my partner, declaring and celebrating our commitment to each other in the presence of of friends and family is really what it's about - in fact, we were considering not getting legally married at all and having a "commitment ceremony" instead of a "wedding." And, fortunately, our guests know that about us.

I didn't mean to offend anyone's sensabilities about marriage in my post! I just saw that the first poster was considering making an nontraditional choice and I wanted to offer my perspective and let her know she's not alone.

It seems like you all are very clear about what's important to you - that's so important in big life events. And, of course, what's important to one person is not necessarily what's important to another - hope you can see that here.

zeb_sas · April 2010

Hey.
I did this exact thing. So don't think its bad. My wedding is in July and my husband and I got married in February because our FAFSA for school was due in March. Our parents make way too much money and don't help us pay for school. We are paying for our wedding alone too. I have always wanted a nice wedding and we talked about it with our families and they agreed with our decision. No offence but since your wedding can be anway you like it YOU CAN HAVE TWO WEDDINGS! i did consider the day we signed the papers our wedding day OF COURSE, but the wedding was for me, my husband and my family. I cant wait and no one is against it.
Paying for school and your wedding and trying to have everything you need is tough. No one should judge what she does, but I know you say you have made your decision but I say go for it!
If you are going to marry this man, earlier is fine!

Marriage before the wedding to help pay for school??

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