Does this seem too morbid?

Torir911 · August 2009

I kind of want to put pictures out of people who have passed on display. They'd probably be on display on the same table where place cards would be. All of my grandparents had passed by the time I was 20 & my FI has only one grandmother who passed away about 3 years ago. It'd be a picture of my mom's parents together, my dad's mother, and my FI's grandmother. Do you think it'd be too morbid to put pictures on display of people who couldn't be there with us?? I went to a wedding where they had a little "shout out" to people who had passed on the back of their programs, but I'm not doing programs since my ceremony will be super simple. I do want to acknowledge my mom's parents because they helped out a lot when I was growing up... it's something that's important to me. If that does seem morbid, does anybody have any suggestions how to go about doing this?

danieliza1127 · August 2009

It's pretty common actually. Just put the pictures in pretty frames that match your decor, and maybe have a candle in the middle and have that lit for them.Here's some info from Google "wedding memory table"[url]<a href="http://www.inspiremecrafts.com/inspireme_crafts/2008/06/gotta-make-it-2.html" rel='nofollow'>http://www.inspiremecrafts.com/inspireme_crafts/2008/06/gotta-make-it-2.html</a>[/url]-------------------------------------------------------------------------[url]<a href="http://pics.killfile.org/events/JamesWedding/Reception/img_9215.jpg" rel='nofollow'>http://pics.killfile.org/events/JamesWedding/Reception/img_9215.jpg</a>[/url]----------------------------------------------------------------------[url]<a href="http://mikandtiffers.tripod.com/sitebuildercontent/sitebuilderpictures/memory.jpeg" rel='nofollow'>http://mikandtiffers.tripod.com/sitebuildercontent/sitebuilderpictures/memory.jpeg</a>[/url]

eli845 · August 2009

I'm putting out wedding pictures of my parents (only my father has passed away), my grandparents, and the grooms family. I think it's a nice way to have some sort of memorial without being too morbid. I'm also hanging a photo charm of my dad in my bouquet.

mbcdefg · August 2009

I think it's fine as long as you don't go overboard or make too many "memorial" references. To make it a bit happier, you could also include framed photos of your parents at their respective weddings (if they're all still together and have happy marriages). That way it's more of a tribute to your family members' happiness than a memorial to the deceased.

Lasairiona · August 2009

The Knot community in general doesn't find it morbid. Personally, I do and am not comfortable with the idea at all. There are several people who have passed whom we wish could attend but they are there in spirit. I don't feel the need to make any mention of it because it feels too funereal and FH agrees. Other people don't understand that not everyone shares their beliefs on the idea and they insist that you do something anyway because everyone else is. I couldn't do anything like that personally (having a memorial of any kind) because the wedding is supposed to be happy and you don't have any idea what will set someone off and kill the mood for them by hitting a wrong nerve. At the same time, I would never speak or think rudely of anyone else who chose to have a memorial, even if I didn't understand why they were doing it. That's just me.

smallsmp8 · August 2009

My future sister-in-law made the suggestion that we do a "memory tree" by our entrance/guest book. I think she saw a cute picture in a magazine where you have some twigs and hang little pieces of paper (that match your decor) with the person's name and dates of birth-death. I personally want our wedding to be a joyous, happy day and don't want to include anyone who has passed away. My rationale is that a few family members (my aunt, my uncle and FI's grandmother) just recently passed away and I think anyone who saw a picture who was close to them might get upset, which I don't want. I think weddings should be about the couple and celebrating the marriage, but also it's up to you! If you would have wanted them there, it may be important to commemorate them on your special day. Just my opinion:)

faith194 · August 2009

We had a memorial table at our wedding--It was a table with a poem, a bunch of framed photos, a few artifacts, and candles. It was only for aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents(DH lost a whole bunch of family in a plane crash over 20 years ago, and it still affects the family today). No one was forced to go over to the table(it was on it's own).I heard many lovely comments from our guests about how nice it was to have those photos there. People could have a moment to look at the photos and think of those we have lost. Those who didn't want to go near the table didn't have to.We definitely asked immediate family members if this was okay, and everyone agreed and helped me find photos.I'm glad I did this, as is DH.

faith194 · August 2009

Oh, and even with the memorial table there--I did not hear one complaint(and I've actually heard people complain about obscure things--this was not one of them).Everyone said how much fun they had, and so I don't think the memorial table really changed the feel of the celebration at all. Like I said, I heard a lot of awesome comments about the table.However, you need to do what you want to do. Good luck with yoru decision.

bucky22 · August 2009

What about a family picture table/ family tree kind of thing... if you are worried about it being morbid. You can have pictures of all your family (living and passed away). I think its a little less "shocking", to address a PP's idea that it may overwhelm guests not prepared to encounter a fresh memory. I like the idea of wedding pictures of grandparents/parents... keeps the wedding theme going... just pictures of the departed may be a little ubrupt for some people's taste. Good luck in whatever you decide to do... I feel like this may be another example of things we worry about way more that people would ever imagine!

erinmessenger · August 2009

My cousin was married this May. His mother passed when he was a toddler. My cousin's fiance made a shadow box with some of my aunts jewelry and her picture. She put this on display on a table at the entrance to the wedding. The table also had a flower arrangement which was very similar to the bridal bouquet and small sign which said, "In memory of...". Our family was pleasantly surprised to see this thoughtful touch and recognition of the fact that my cousin's mother was not forgotten on this special day. I still get teary-eyed thinking about this. I think it is a lovely tribute to the people you love who aren't able to attend.

carmen02 · August 2009

I don't think that there would be anything wrong with that at all, especially if you but something like "sharing our day with everyone we love" or something of that nature along with the photos. I am actually doing a Huppah at my weding for this exact reason.

kbalsama · August 2009

I'm carrying a locket with my grandfather's picture in it on my bouquet, since he and I were close. We'll mix in a few photos of my fiance's deceased grandparents and aunt with regular photos at the reception. I have to be careful, since my fiance's family is weird about death--fiance talks about how many family members have died, but honestly, it's no more than a normal family! His mom made me laugh when she said, "Don't let his dad know you're doing that or you'll have photos of every dead relative ever!"Anyway...your idea sounds fine, but I wouldn't do any more than that.

rubber_chicken · August 2009

i dont see how remembering the dead is inherently sad, but i guess thats a cultural thing. we're planning on a table of family photos from weddings and other reunions, including living and deceased members.

cmacaula · August 2009

I am having a large vase engraved with "With Loving Rememberance and Admiration" and the names of my older brother, great family friend, and grandmother who have passed, with the wedding date and a goregous simple flower arrangement. It will be placed on the guest book/entry table.I think a whole table with pictures is overboard, or placing pictures at the dinner table a little creepy. Do something simple to show your remembrance and love, not something that's showcased in the middle of your wedding area.

Future Mrs. Lindstrom · August 2009

Your idea sounds just fine.We put the memorial on our programs since we had them and one of my uncles stood up at the toast on behalf of me father who passed in 2002.We also had one of my other uncles say something about my grandpartens (still living) that were celbrating their 65th wedding anniversary 2 days after our wedding...that was kind of a small reason we chose the date we did!

ZachnLoriahn · August 2009

I think its really a cool idea. My Dad's mom passed away 2 years ago. Im having replica boquets made of both of my grandmothers boquets and going to have them out. with their wedding pictures (my dads dad has also passed away).

Danes983 · August 2009

A family friend of mine did candles with their names on place cards in front of each one.. Very suble but a nice way to have them there.

deuces_are_wild · August 2009

We are having a vase of roses with ribbons tied around each stem that have a small picture attached of the person being remembered. On the back of the picture we're putting their name and relationship to us. The vase will be used on the altar during our ceremony and then moved to the table with the guest book so people can look at them up close. (We're actually going to use it as our version of the unity candle ceremony by having one color rose for my side and another for my fiances. Our relatives will place a rose in the vase as they're being seated for the ceremony and then my fiance and I will each add our own to finish the bouquet.)

stressed2010 · August 2009

I have thought about doing the same thing, although we are going to place a picture frame with a flower and a candel in each of the window seals at the church. I was very close to my great-grandparents and was lucky enough to have them in my life. I know there aren't a lot of people who can say they knew great-grandparents. I don't feel like its morbid at all.

mizu22 · August 2009

I think it's a cute idea. Other people will be missing them too and will be glad to see they have been included in some way.

oburrell · August 2009

We did it. I got the idea from TK and I was the first person in the family to do so. We got a picture frame that had 7 slots- 6 pics of the deceased and the middle slot had nice poem in it. We put it on a dresser with 2 candles in front of it. It was in a corner at the reception. Everyone loved it! Nobody thought it was morbid-they thought it was touching and sweet. I didn't put anything in the programs, just this. You can find a nice simple way that's not morbid if you want to.

bingham101 · August 2009

I think its important to remember a parent most definitly. I am not sure about everyone else though. What if someone got upset because you didnt have your great aunt or something... maybe just my family is that petty. However I did have two uncles that past on this year very unexpected and I would like to remember them in some way.

anwallette · August 2009

I went to a wedding where they had a separate table set up with a candle burning. On the table were rocks that had names painted on them. They had a little table easel with a sign that was a dedication to those who weren't able to share their special day with the bride and groom. Very classy and allowed for a memorial. I don't think that it's morbid at all. I think that it is important to honour those who are not able to be there to celebrate with you.

colleenau · August 2009

we had wedding pictures of our parents and grandparents (so 6 pictures total). and we put them on the place card table. it was very cute and our family members really liked it. not morbid at all. it was more of a celebration of the weddings and relationships that got us to that day.

as985 · August 2009

I don't think it is morbid at all. We plan to have a memory table at our wedding. We plan to include some candles and pictures of our loved ones. My Grandma, Dad and baby sister (16 years old) all died in tragic, sudden ways. We are also honoring my fiance's grandmothers. My only sister and I always planned for her to be my maid of honor- she died 2 years ago in a car accident. I still miss her so much. So I am not having a maid of honor (my BF understands- she first met my sister when she was 3 years old). I may put something small in our program explaining that she is my maid of honor in spirit. I don't know. I know that our wedding will be an extremely happy day- but I want to include those in spirit that are very important to me.

Does this seem too morbid?

Re: Does this seem too morbid?

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