For everyone who chose to see eachother before the ceremony

kdaniels29 · June 2012

Hi All-
My FI and I are trying to decide if we want to do the traditional thing and not see eachother before the ceremony or if we want to do a pre-ceremony reveal. I've read tons of stuff online from photographers who rant and rave about how well this goes and some stuff from brides who are PLANNING to do this at their wedding. However, I haven't found any recaps or reflections from brides who actually did this and what they thought of it. SO, if you chose to see your FI before the ceremony, what did you think? What were the pros and cons? If you could go back, would you change it? THANK YOU!

bahaba bride · June 2012

We did it and are glad we did. My photographer arranged for it to be a private moment between the two of us. That was important to me that we had this small time together before everyone saw us. Our parents were sad at first -they were looking forward to seeing us see each other in front of everyone. To me I am glad we had that private special moment. It also meant that after we saw each other, we could do some group pictures before the ceremony. Good pictures without any messed up makeup from tears during the ceremony. This also meant we and the bridal party could enjoy the coctail hour rather than being stuck away from the party for photos. My parents were also happy they could enjoy more of the party having the pictures done earlier and they did not miss us seeing each other for the first time. My favorite photos are of us seeing each other before the cermony.

jellbelle · June 2012

I couldn't imagine not seeing my husband before the ceremony, so it was a natural and easy choice and I wouldn't have it any other way. The photographer made sure it was a special and private moment for us and it was well orchestrated. Also, waking up to him the morning of was special in itself; knowing that I was going to be his wife in just a few short hours made for such a sweet moment in time. No cons here. The pictures we got from our first sight are so special; the candids really show how happy we were.
And, because we got many photos taken care of before the ceremony, it did free up time to celebrate with the family.

firsttimersluck · June 2012

OMG... It was the best decision we could have made.

It gave us time to just.. focus on each other before all the crazy wedding stuff began. PLUS it meant my hair and make upwas perfect for all of the pictures of the two of us, since it had JUST been done.

It's so exciting to see your fi/H for the first time on that day, I didn't want that to be in front of a hundred people.. I wanted it to be just between us.

It also meant we didn't have to ditch our friends and family in between ceremony and reception to go rush and take pictures, since we took care of that before hand.

I was sooo nervous to be on show, and getting to see H before the ceremony helped calm my nerves and be at ease with it all.

It didn't take away from the walk down the aisle either.. H still TOTALLY teared up.. heheh my sweet man

cwill6212 · June 2012

We just got married this past weekend! Eeeek!

We went back and forth on whether to do a "first look" or wait for the ceremony. While I thought about the time-saving factor of doing one and having most of our pics before, I thought it would make my walk down the aisle less special. Totally not the case though.

My photographer arranged for us to have a few private moments alone. He was late and I was frazzled. But as my MOH said, as soon as I saw him I would be fine. And I was. He was mesmerized when he saw me and we had a few moments to focus on each other before all the madness started. It was so special and one of the highlights of the day. After that we took pics and then that only left a few to take after the ceremony. That gave us more time to enjoy the friends and family who were there and the reception we spent our hard earned $$ to put together!

Side note: My previous thought that the first look might take away from the big ceremony moment was wrong. Even though H and I saw each other before, he didn't shed tears until my processional when he came to meet me 1/2 way and we walked the rest of the way together. Ahhh! Still gives me goosebumps!!!

kdaniels29 · June 2012

Thanks everyone!!

stacywashington · June 2012

Yes thanks everyone - I was thinking the same thing so nice to hear everyone's stories.

lnvane00 · June 2012

This picture should explain it ALL. This was my FI (well now H) reaction when we did our first look.
I would DEF suggest this to all brides

rlavach · June 2012

I responded to someone asking about doing a First Look a few days ago & since I'm too lazy to retype, I copied it below.

Like many others, we did first look photos also and did all of our BP and immediate family photos before. I was originally really against it because I really wanted that big moment of walking down the aisle, but my videographer convinced me this would work better. It worked out so much better that way. I have a large extended family and wanted to take a picture with each family group. There was no way we could do that if we left to take pics during the cocktail hour. We spent 1/2 of the cocktail hour eating/drinking & the other half taking family photos since we already did all of our pics earlier.

It absolutely does NOT take anything away from the moment you walk down that aisle. Hello, you're walking down to meet your soon-to-be husband! That moment is special & magical, regardless of whether you've seen him earlier in the day or not. On top of the fact that we had more time to take our pics, more time to enjoy our cocktail hour, it also calmed our nerves a bit. I was able to get all of my crying out so that I didn't cry as much during the ceremony. It was the best.decision.ever.

AurorasEnvy · June 2012

We did a first look and it was great, for all the reasons PP mentioned. Go for it!

kjerl · June 2012

I was wondering the same thing. Thank you all for sharing

I may have to let our photographer know we may want to do a first look!

chelsy31588 · June 2012

Awesome post! I'm in the same position as the original poster! Thank you everyone!

TexasWriterBride2012 · June 2012

I'm going to play a teensy bit of devil's advocate here.

In addition to being a bride (6-9-12), I am also a professional photographer. I have done weddings both ways: First Look and traditional. Both are excellent choices.

Despite advocating First Look as a photographer (it makes my job easier), I went traditional with my own wedding.

I'd like to also point out that every bride here is very likely to advocate the option they chose, because it was wonderful. Whatever you choose, it WILL be wonderful, because wedding days are just wonderful. You will not feel regret, so do what makes sense to you.

Here's the pros and cons of both in my experience.

First Look Pros. You can get some pictures out of the way. You can create a moment where you see each other in a controlled environment without distracting factors such as wandering flower girls or late arrivals. It can be calming to see each other prior to the ceremony.

First Look Cons: The moment isn't shared. It's a favorite moment of anyone at wedding, right up with first kiss. Maybe they won't ever know they didn't get to participate in this memorable moment, but I always personally feel sad that I didn't get to see the groom's look when he saw his bride the first time.

Not all venues are good for this. Some don't have an easy way to keep this private and it's a little anti-climactic if guests happen to see you together before the ceremony. Sometimes time is tight. If someone is late, this moment is rushed or squeezes out other important moments--such as mom-daughter, father-daughter, etc.

Often, brides and grooms are still nervous. There's a calmness and natural happiness after the ceremony is over that shows in pictures. First Look portraits don't always have this.

Parents may or may not be supportive of First Look. Not really a critical part of your decision, but prepare for some dissent if you do something they consider "different."

Not all grooms (or brides) are good at reacting exactly the way the other anticipates.

Traditional pros: The groom sees you for the first time, not in private, but in front of everyone. A good photographer will catch a photo like above, but will have reactions of guests to this as well. It's a choice, whether to make this gorgeous moment private or public.

It's fun to work at "missing" each other. Family and friends can get in on making sure you are kept separate.

Traditional Cons: There are more pictures to take after the ceremony, although if this moment is private, these are just extra pictures--everything has to be taken again with rings on, etc.

The see-the-bride moment can get lost in nervousness or distraction or even a technical glitch, although it's pretty rare this happens.

____________________________

On a personal note, when I asked my groom what he looked forward to the most about the wedding, he said, "Seeing how beautiful you look when you walk down the aisle for the first time."

That made my decision right there.

Traditional was perfect for us, when I could actually be calm and really see him, as prior to our wedding, things were falling apart and until I actually got to the end of the aisle, I was not ready to begin the beautiful part. I remember how he looked at me, not just alone in a room, but with all the guests with us, as we were getting ready to begin our journey.

DanniLynn88 · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-recap-withdrawal_for-everyone-who-chose-to-see-eachother-before-the-ceremony?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:12Discussion:2718cea6-7dca-4d5f-89da-551f66009610Post:3026752b-ca30-4512-811e-054c867aacdd">For everyone who chose to see eachother before the ceremony</a>:
[QUOTE]Hi All- My FI and I are trying to decide if we want to do the traditional thing and not see eachother before the ceremony or if we want to do a pre-ceremony reveal. I've read tons of stuff online from photographers who rant and rave about how well this goes and some stuff from brides who are PLANNING to do this at their wedding. However, I haven't found any recaps or reflections from brides who actually did this and what they thought of it. SO, if you chose to see your FI before the ceremony, what did you think? What were the pros and cons? If you could go back, would you change it? THANK YOU!
Posted by kdaniels29[/QUOTE]

I waited until the walk down the aisle. I'll never forget the look on his face when he saw me. But really it wasn't that everyone was looking because the room could have had 1000 people or two all I saw was him. I imagine that if you do a reveal before and make the first glace special it would have the same effect. I am just superstitious.

tiffanygoss · June 2012

I am so glad I stumbled pn this post!

whitney37354 · June 2012

We saw each other before the ceremony because we wanted to be able to attend the reception. We had been to a wedding where we left the reception before the couple even got there because they took pictures for hours after the ceremony. We took ALL pictures before, then went to the fellowship hall and had the cake cut before most guests (including our parents...) made it downstairs. They didn't do "first looks" here back then, but I think that would have been nice. We met in the hallway of the church, me in sweatpants, no makeup & my hair & veil all done up, him scrambling to get the last minute changes taken care of with the music. Not very romantic! We didn't mean to meet that way, it just happened.

ladyscronin77 · June 2012

This insight was very helpful! Great question - we plan to do a "reveal" first as well.

Nicholettemtz · June 2012

We decided to do "Non-first look photos" Haha our photographer found a place in the hotel where the wall cornered off. We each got on each side of the wall and didnt see eachother. We held each others hands and talked to each other while she took pictures. Even that was just amazing and emotional. She and our moms said you could just see the anticipation on both of our faces. I LOVED it and cant wait to see the pictures. I will never forget the look on his face as I walked down that aisle. As DaniLynn said, nothing else mattered and we only had eyes for eachother. We honestly didnt see any of the other people that were there because we were focused on eachother.

I loved the way we did it, because we got those "first look" pictures before and we got to talk to eachother before but then we really saw eachother when we walked down the aisle. I wouldnt have changed that at all!

lauraanne9 · June 2012

I am so glad I found this. We are not doing the reveal before the ceremony. However, it was great tp read these posts and see how people. and photographers, feel about doing it. Made me certain that the way we have chosen to do it is really the right one for us. And I will admit there were some great points all around. The one that cinched it for me, again, was the comment about the relaxed joy and happiness that comes through in the photos that are taken after the ceremony.

But it really is a personal decision that should be made for what fits the couple best!

rikkidawn28 · July 2012

Well we didnt do a first look per say but we did pre-ceremony pics. As I walked out of the main house of the plantation my then FI (now husband) was standing on the front porch. As I looked over at him, his eyes got big his mouth dropped and his eyebrows twitched as he said "Hey beautiful". That was very flattering!!

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