Interfaith Weddings

Muslim/Catholic Wedding

My mom knows that I am not religious, and was trying to convince me to get Fi to convert...which obviously is not an option. I talked to a mullah today, who basically told me that even if Fi DID convert, it wouldn't count unless he actually meant it (this was a question of my MOM's, not mine...I only talked to the mullah because my 12 year old brother called me and told me that he was making him do online research). Anyway, I was kind of relieved at hearing this news, thinking that now they at least can't try to get him to do some sort of nominal conversion before the wedding (super common when Muslim women marry non-Muslim men...they just get them to go through the motions). So I called my mom and she is now freaking out, calling me a terrible person, and saying that we are not right for each other, blah blah blah. Has anyone dealt with this before? Tips?
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Re: Muslim/Catholic Wedding

  • livvy0606livvy0606 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    i know what you are talking about except its the other way round. im engaged to a muslim guy and aid his family is pressuring him to convert me.
  • NeoCreed69NeoCreed69 member
    Knottie Warrior 10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Not directly but I knew a Jewish man whom married a Catholic and his mother burned his birth certificate because she wouldn't convert and they still got married.  I also knew another couple where she converted just for the wedding and then converted back to shut her MIL up.  My Uncle converted to Catholic so they could marry in her family church.  I say it shouldn't matter, if you truely love someone the religion shouldn't get in the way.  It will be up to you as to how far you take it with your family.
  • edited December 2011
    Yikes! I dont post here much, but the best I can say is try to find some kind of common ground religiously speaking. My mom was really hoping (still is!) that FI would become muslim, but is reasonable enough to know that he has to believe it himself or it's fake. Either way, it helped when i told her that despite being a catholic, fi doesn't really buy into the whole jesus christ as our savior bit. He really doesn't; I didn't just make it up for her benefit. It helped ease her mind a little. I don't know if you have anything like that to go on, but it's worth looking for something. Ireally hope she comes around. That soulnd really hard. Good luck.
  • edited December 2011
    I don't have any great advice for your problem, but I wish you luck in bringing understanding between the families for your future. I honestly don't know enough about the Muslim culture and tradition to say what they allow or don't allow, but if your fiance is willing to marry you at a neutral site and have both clergy present, that should be acceptable to both sides. My cousin is Catholic (but doesn't practice his faith) and is marrying a Muslim. They are not getting married at either person's worship site. They will be married at a private club and I'm not sure what type of officiant they're using. I know from my own personal inter-faith dilemma that there has to be compromise on both sides. I would tell your Mom that it's between you and your fiance to handle the issue. As hard as it may be, I would make sure that you two are OK with the ceremony before anyone else.
  • edited December 2011
    In my situation, I am the non religious one and my FI is Muslim Pakistani. I did convert for him and his family, but in reality I don't believe or follow any of their tenants, except for one. I don't eat pork in my home I share with my FI, and we don't buy it at the store. Anywhere else, with or without my FI is fine. I follow this out of respect for my FI. period. So beyond that, I don't really do anything. I prayed at a mosque a couple of times with my FI, but he doesn't care what I do. lol I am a grad student in anthropology, and I accept science, evolution etc as an explanation for the existence of life and the universe. His mom remarried to an American who supposedly converted, but is not definitely a Muslim. So even if my future MIL wanted to say something, she would be a total hypocrite. Secondly, it's important to work out how things will go, in terms of children etc. If you don't get a long with his family, it will probably cause problems. But just because your family or the FI's family is religous, doesn't mean you always give in to them. Don't become a pushover. It's a precious balance you have to maintain.
  • edited December 2011
    Don't know if this helps or not, but my husband and I just celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary.  He is Muslim and I am Catholic.  We had a few people give us grief in the beginning, but managed to stay married and raise two gorgeous kids through it all...both of which were blessed twice....through a christening and muslim blessing.  I am a wedding planner (of over 30 yrs) and I've done many inter-faith weddings (I'm always drawn to stories like yours) because its all about the love and RESPECT you have for each other.  In the end, everyone always comes around!  Good luck and hang in there.  :)
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