Is it rude?

AlyssaHoward87 · February 2012

First of all my fiance thinks it is totally rude to have a gift registry for the second wedding. I have read otherwise, so I don't really know. He refuses to do any type of registry because he doesn't want to be greedy.

My Mom wants to throw me a bridal shower, and in order to do that, I need to register.

So my first question, is it rude to do a registry and bridal shower for a second wedding?

My second question is, is it rude to put stuff for our kids on their? Such as new bedding?

artbyallie · February 2012

No, it's not rude to register.

No, it's not rude to register for kids' bedding. No toys or anything like that, though.

MyNameIsNot · February 2012

Traditionally, you didn't register for a second wedding. This has kind of gone by the wayside, but showers for the second wedding are generally considered inappropriate still.

Including items specifically for kids is inappropriate. Neutral bedding would be ok, but a bedspread with a cartoon character on it wouldn't.

meganb1977 · February 2012

It's totally up to you if you want to register. My boss recently remarried and I understood her perspective that she wanted new china for her new marriage.

Squishy'sGal · February 2012

I think it depends on whether you need stuff or not. If you don't really need anything then I wouldn't do it. If you do need new things then go ahead and register. And, yes it is rude to add stuff on there for your kids.

Avion22 · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_is-it-rude?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:a8933e6a-18c3-4334-b96c-f2356bb0c3c2Post:8a56df09-41b1-4f3f-ae18-0bb75d96b2c3">Re: Is it rude?</a>:
[QUOTE]Traditionally, you didn't register for a second wedding. This has kind of gone by the wayside, but showers for the second wedding are generally considered inappropriate still. Including items specifically for kids is inappropriate. Neutral bedding would be ok, but a bedspread with a cartoon character on it wouldn't.
Posted by MyNameIsNot[/QUOTE]

<div>This may have been true once, but isn't anymore. It is perfectly okay to register for a second wedding. Many people lose possessions in a divorce, and if you DIDN'T, then chances are he doesn't want to use the same bedding you used with your ex-husband, and you don't want to use his ex's old towels. It's completely understandable that you would want to register for things to help you set up a home together. Plus, people will want to get you gifts, so if you DON'T register then you will end up with stuff you don't like.</div><div>
</div><div>If you do regsiter, I would keep it to stuff for you two or for your family as a whole, not for kid's bedding. You can use cash or gift cards you receive for kids bedding. I would stick to basics like household goods that you need or would like to replace/upgrade, or maybe stuff for your family to use together (camping equipment, maybe some board games, stuff like that).</div><div>
</div><div>Also, feel free to join us on the "Second Weddings" board under "Special Topics Wedding Boards" on the left-)</div>

TiffannieF · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_is-it-rude?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:a8933e6a-18c3-4334-b96c-f2356bb0c3c2Post:8a56df09-41b1-4f3f-ae18-0bb75d96b2c3">Re: Is it rude?</a>:
[QUOTE]Traditionally, you didn't register for a second wedding. This has kind of gone by the wayside, but showers for the second wedding are generally considered inappropriate still. Including items specifically for kids is inappropriate. Neutral bedding would be ok, but a bedspread with a cartoon character on it wouldn't.
Posted by MyNameIsNot[/QUOTE]

I completely agree. Also you don't have to register to have a shower. And although I recommend your FI going with you to register he doesn't have to.

MyNameIsNot · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_is-it-rude?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:a8933e6a-18c3-4334-b96c-f2356bb0c3c2Post:0b7eb13a-addb-44fd-867a-ee95465c1785">Re: Is it rude?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Is it rude? : This may have been true once, but isn't anymore. It is perfectly okay to register for a second wedding. Many people lose possessions in a divorce, and if you DIDN'T, then chances are he doesn't want to use the same bedding you used with your ex-husband, and you don't want to use his ex's old towels. It's completely understandable that you would want to register for things to help you set up a home together. Plus, people will want to get you gifts, so if you DON'T register then you will end up with stuff you don't like. If you do regsiter, I would keep it to stuff for you two or for your family as a whole, not for kid's bedding. You can use cash or gift cards you receive for kids bedding. I would stick to basics like household goods that you need or would like to replace/upgrade, or maybe stuff for your family to use together (camping equipment, maybe some board games, stuff like that). Also, feel free to join us on the "Second Weddings" board under "Special Topics Wedding Boards" on the left-)
Posted by Avion22[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Please re-read my post. You agreed with what I said. The tradition has pretty much gone to the wayside. </div><div>
</div><div>You should also keep in mind that while your second husband won't want to use the same bedding and dishes as you used with your first husband, it doesn't mean it is your guests' responsibility to get you new dishes and bedding.
</div>

Avion22 · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_is-it-rude?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:a8933e6a-18c3-4334-b96c-f2356bb0c3c2Post:d6f48608-5ac7-442a-aa07-5b67ff3f934a">Re: Is it rude?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Is it rude? : Please re-read my post. You agreed with what I said. The tradition has pretty much gone to the wayside. <strong>You should also keep in mind that while your second husband won't want to use the same bedding and dishes as you used with your first husband, it doesn't mean it is your guests' responsibility to get you new dishes and bedding. </strong>
Posted by MyNameIsNot[/QUOTE]

<div>Our friends and family don't have to get us anything, but if they're going to get us new bedding anyway, then I'd rather they buy what we picked out. My late husband and I eloped, so this time around my family has expressed a wish to get us gifts. It's also my fiance's first wedding. </div><div>
</div><div>It is in no way inapropriate for people having second weddings to register.</div><div>
</div>

adktd2boots · February 2012

While it's not inappropriate to register for a second wedding, IMO it is inappropriate to register for children. This isn't a birthday party, and this isn't because you just want new things for your kid.

LeiselEB · February 2012

Definitely register, but I'd not add anything for your kids. Perhaps sheets for their beds could get by, but even that seems to be pushing it.

Reason being, you don't want it to look like you're using this as an opportunity to get whatever you don't want to buy at the moment - people want to give you gifts to celebrate your wedding and start your life with your new husband - they don't necessarily want to buy a gift for your kid. Know what I mean? But definitely register - it's fine for second weddings.

AurorasEnvy · February 2012

I agree, I'd register. Not for any kid specific stuff, though.

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