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Invite question

EKobrenskiEKobrenski
1000 Comments
in Massachusetts-Boston
So, I just thought of this issue while compiling addresses for my STDs.My aunt and uncle have 3 children.  The oldest child is one of my bridesmaids and will be getting a separate invite.  The other two children are 15 and 16 and are both severly autistic.  I know from my aunt and from having watched them when I was younger that there's no way they would make it through a wedding.  Should I still put them on the invite?  On one hand, they are part of the family and should be invited.  On the other hand, I feel like it might make my aunt feel bad to have to RSVP no for them (she feels bad they won't have a normal adult life, etc.) WDYT?
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Re: Invite question

  • evseidlevseidl
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Thougts initially:  this is tough.  But I would invite them no matter what.  Do you know if they are coming?!
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  • MandahGirlyMandahGirly
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I would invite them - and I don't think your Aunt should feel bad about them not coming - You could always talk to her about it, say that you would like them to be there but would totally understand if they can't go
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  • EKobrenskiEKobrenski
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    No my aunt definitely won't bring them.  They need to be watched at all times, so it's hard for them to enjoy the event, plus the kids get upset when they are in unfamiliar crowds/surroundings.  If she wanted to bring them I would be fine with that, but she typically will only bring them for an hour or so on Christmas, etc. so I would highly doubt it.
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  • MeaghanandMichaelMeaghanandMichael
    5000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I would absolutely send them one. Our best family friends have a daughter who is 28 but she will never be more than 18months old mentally. I sent her her own invite to both my shower and my wedding. Her mom wrote back for her. I know it sounds like kind of silly game playing from the outside but it meant a lot to them that I included her as her own being. Think of it this way: if you don't invite them they could be seriously hurt. If you do it just brings up feelings of discomfort they have been dealing with their whole life. You just want to be as accomodating and welcoming as possible.
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    RAWR!

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  • MeaghanandMichaelMeaghanandMichael
    5000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    ps- Mike's brother Benny is autistic and if was hard enough for him to may it through the day and that was his own brother. It took a lot of preparation for him to do what he did. They most likely won't come.
    image
    RAWR!

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  • EKobrenskiEKobrenski
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Think of it this way: if you don't invite them they could be seriously hurt. If you do it just brings up feelings of discomfort they have been dealing with their whole life. You just want to be as accomodating and welcoming as possible.Good perspective.  I think I am going to include them on the invite. I know my aunt gets upset at holidays, big family events, etc., but I think it's more important to be inclusive. 
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  • h+j6510h+j6510 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    i would definitely invite them.  i would also talk to your aunt and say that you understand if they won't be able to come, but you wanted her/them to know they were invited. my brother is autistic and there's no way he'd be able to handle coming to the wedding - he would be too anxious and it would just be a bad situation.  he, too, has a hard time even going to the family christmas party. i think it would mean a lot to your aunt to know you would want your cousins there on your special day, even if they may not be able to go.
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