A sticky situation (long).

TheJennius · August 2009

I need some piece of advice.So FI and I go to the same church, but I go to the Hispanic side (hello

and he goes to the American side. The pastor of the American church - let's call him Pastor B - and his wife and good friends with my inlaws. They are also well-acquainted with mine.During my graduation party planning back in May I had a bit of a problem with them. I sent an invitation addressed:"Rev. and Mrs. B"And when they RSVP through a text message (yeah ...) to FI's phone (yeah ...) Mrs. B said that it'd be her, her mother and her youngest daughter attending my graduation party.I nearly had an etiquette conniption.I politely called and tried to explain to her that two seats had been reserved: one for Pastor B, and one for her. She then proceeded to say that since her husband couldn't make it, she was bringing her mother ("I already invited her and she's really excited about it!") and her daughter (who counts as a child). I have nothing against her mother. She is a sweet old lady.BUT WTF.After going back and forth with my Pastor (Hispanic pastor, the one who had a heart attack? Yep, second daddy) on what to do, I was no BS-blunt with her. Basically I told her that because I had specific head count, I could only accommodate two guests of her party, and that those two guests were initially Pastor B and her, and that's why (let the heavens open and enlighten her) I had addressed the invitation as REV. AND FREAKING MRS. B.She then says that okay, she'll come and her mother too.I gave up. I remember just pursing my lips together, clutching the phone to the side of my head and just saying "Alright, then. Thank you for understanding." The night of my grad party she shows up ... with her youngest daughter.What. Gives.They pretty much have to invited to the wedding, because besides being close to the FI's family, my dad still likes them (FI hates Mrs.

and they all get along very well. However, nobody is exactly close to Mrs. B's mother, who is still sweet and old and once invited me to a jewelry party in her house but she called me Jean, so ...DO I HAVE TO INVITE HER TO THE WEDDING???plzsayno.Sorry it was too long, but background was needed $:\$

LilBit1018 · August 2009

oh my gosh no you do NOT have to invite Mrs. B's "sweet old lady" of a mother. Absolutely not. No way no how. Both God and Jesus will love you all the same because you are incorporating them in this day and not everyone and their mother (literally). I teach sunday school. so believe me i know all about church drama. HTH! Now go pray abt it

photonbug · August 2009

I have had people pull the same thing with me. They say that they can't bring their significant other so they want to bring a friend or family member. I told them no. I can't aford to have everyone invited do that! People are crazy!

goldie3474 · August 2009

send the invite to mrs & mrs b and if they rsvp with more, have FI call and explain the situation. People are INSANE with RSVPing, it amazes me. I had a 2nd cousin tell my mom to tell me that he is a plus one. First, I have not seen YOU in a decade. 2nd, you are 18 and I have not met your 17 year old flavor of the week EVER and 3rd, you are NOT a plus one on MY list. ::stomps foot:: yeah, I just became bridezilla. lol.

courtneybrooke921 · August 2009

oh.my.First, excellent description of the back story!That being said - you DEFINTELY do not have to invite the mother. Invite the Pastor and his wife and if she calls back to state that she is also bringing her daughter (again) - have your FI or FI's parents call and explain due to space and money, no one else can come. oy. good luck!

TheJennius · August 2009

Oh, good. I have a feeling Mrs. B will give me a bit of a problem with that but if I have to become Bridezilla (stomp stomp, lol Alissa) I will. I'm a Sunday school teacher too (good mommy practice!), and I am a Christian, but sometimes i just want to slap my congregation silly. GNYAH. I have never wanted to stun gun someone so bad as when I was talking to her on the phone this past May. It should not be this hard! You're invited, reply yes or no, stfu.Oy is right, Court! I'm going to get so many headaches come RSVP season for me!

zobo410 · August 2009

First of all, I LOVE that you used the word conniption. Not used enough. Second, this is why I like putting the names on the response card envelope, or the numbers. Unreal. She absolutely does not have to be invited to the wedding. I am worried that a family-friend of FI's mom wants to bring her daughter instead of the father cause he's sick. It's not either or for a guest. It's either or for us. Either you come with the guest that was invited, OR you come by yourself OR not at all. Done.

TheJennius · August 2009

"It's not either or for a guest. It's either or for us. Either you come with the guest that was invited, OR you come by yourself OR not at all. Done."I am so printing this in my invitations. Andra, I heart you.

zobo410 · August 2009

Haha, thanks.

millenia98 · August 2009

No you DON'T. Period. End of Story. If you were that blunt once before about it, you need to give it a stronger go about this one b/c this one is that much more serious than a graduation party.