Indiana

-Long- Advise Needed Please

My aunt by marriage has two sisters, lets call them J and M. I have invited both of them and their spouses to our wedding. M has 2 young (age approx. 3 and 5) children who I do not know particularily well. J has 3 stepchildren (approx. ages 12, 13, 14 and no biological children). The envelopes were specifically addressed to Mr. and Mrs. only, no children. They were both invited to my bridal shower and did not come. I have not heard anything from M and will doubt I will or that they will make it, it was more just a formality. Well it is now officially 12 days until my wedding and J (age 41ish) sends me a message on facebook stating this "hey sweety,, I found the RSVP stuck to the fridge today.. and it was due back to you today so I have it in the mail box but I'm rsvp'ing now so I'm not late :) If we have all the kids (which tech we do that weekend) then it will be 5 ... How is the planning going.. ???" then a follow up message right beneath it stating this: "Do u want me to let u no asap if we can get a sitter?? or will minus 3 not make that big of a difference??" Umm...it makes a huge difference. Argh! I don't even know how to tackle this one but I'm sure you girls will have great advice. I have not responded to her on facebook. The whole this is so tacky I just don't know where to begin. Thanks a bunch!!!
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Re: -Long- Advise Needed Please

  • edited December 2011
    I should mention that I know J's stepchildren even less than M's children. Not sure I've even met all 3 of them.
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  • silverbubblesilverbubble member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    IMO, I say just address it. You have legitimate reason she cannot bring the kids, no space. If she gets there and sees lots of room, let her deal with it. i had a similar but sorta not situation.  A friend of mine, whom we addressed to just her, rsvp'd not only herself and her kids, but her bf as well, that we specifically told her was not to come. Fortunately, one of my bridesmaids talked to her and was like REALLY!!! There is a reason it was addressed to you. She (like you) facebooked me and said she was sorry, but would not come w/o her "family." But was going to come to my bachelorette party... awkward. She later called me, and we discussed things out. Her and BF are no more, and she is getting a sitter. We are allowing children, but that is more for our brothers that have 4 kids each, and some family members from out of state.
  • edited December 2011
    I would send her a message and say something to the effect of:"Aunt J, I was just about to call about your rsvp, so thanks for messaging me!  We didn't actually plan on the step kids coming, so we only have 2 spots reserved for you and uncle J.  Please let me know by X date if you will be able to work something out so you can celebrate with us."
  • edited December 2011
    I like Chrissy's response.
  • edited December 2011
    Ditto for Chrissy. But if you think that she won't respond on time, then definitely call! That has really frustrating me lately. Our RSVP cards said 8/5 and THIS WEEK people are calling like, "OMG I can't believe we found your RSVP card in the desk drawer. I am so sorry! We are coming." And other people are saying that they need time to think about it a little more. Time's a tickin ... they've got until Friday and that is it. No extras baby. =)
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