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Invited 2, RSVP 3!?

DocAndRnDocAndRn
First Comment
in Ohio-Northeast
Has anyone else experienced problems with guests adding on other guests? Or calling and asking to bring dates, or kids?  I thought writing out "mr and mrs so&so" meant ONLY you two are invited!  I'm having people call and ask to bring dates (who aren't really dating anyone long term).  I hate to say no, but our budget is for 250, everything we have ordered is for 250, and each guest costs $70!  Also my grandparents are putting my family in a sticky situation with add-ons.  They would like my two second cousins to go who are 4 and 12 and its supposed to be a adult reception.  These girls have a father who just basically doesn't watch them and my grandparents are raising them.  So they said if they couldn't come, they would stay home and watch them. (They don't want non-family watching them).  I feel like saying i'd rather have my grandparents come, and my dead beat cousin stay home with his kids!  Not trying to be a bridezilla...but i can't believe people are so rude!!
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Re: Invited 2, RSVP 3!?

  • dalandreadalandrea member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    yeah, I'm having that problem with FI's family as well. We've had about 25 people added on to the guest list thinks to add one's to RSVP's. Two cards that came back which should have said 2, said 6! And they are all FI's family. Hang in there... if you are paying for it, you have every right to confront the people that are being added on. FI's mother is helping pay for the reception, so we can't really say anything.
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  • cwheels82cwheels82
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Just a tip for people that haven't done invites yet.  On our RSVP cards we wrote:  "We have reserved ____ seat(s) in your honor."  It was a pain to go and write in all the numbers before I stuffed the pockets, but it removed any chance of people wondering if they could bring dates or not.  We had the problem where we had a lot of friends start dating people in the last couple of months that weren't originally on our list.  We decided to not invite dates unless people were engaged, married, out of town, or on our original list.  I think if you talk with people, they should understand.  Places only hold so many people!  Plus I think people know this is a hard decision (or at least people that have been married or helped with weddings should).  Can you have a sitter in an adjacent room for the kids?  May be worth paying a high schooler $10/hour to make everyone happy. 
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  • athompson83athompson83
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I COMPLETELY FEEL YOU ON THIS ONE!!I had one guest on the FI's side invite a stepson we have never met, an aunt that we invited 2 for have a response card with 7, i asked who she was bringing and she wanted to bring her adult kids and her grandchildren!!!! I also had my soon to be step sister in law that is 16 want to bring a FRIEND as a date....It's like where do people get the nerve? don't they realize this is alot of money???I also had the problem with dates we even TOLD some of FI's friends they could not bring dates because there will be a big group of them attending, but many STILL responded with dates......It's like where do people get the nerve? don't they realize this is alot of money???This has been the BIGGEST stress factor the past week. I would DEFINETLY recommend doing what cwheels suggested and put how many people are invited and reduce the headaches!!!
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  • noringyet&watingnoringyet&wating member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    We also used the phrase "We have reserved ____ seats for you" and filled in the number for each invitation sent.  So far, so good.  We have the majority back and nobody has called or added to the number we put...so I think it worked.  I personally think it's very bold of someone to bring a guest if they're not invited.  But then again, not everyone is aware of etiquette...I know some in my family weren't.  Sorry for your problem! 
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  • soontobemrs2soontobemrs2 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    People just don't get that every person costs you $70+.You need to call her and explain that you have limited seating and that it's going to be tight to begin with. If she says that it's only one person say but if I allow this for you, I have to allow it for everyone
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