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May 2012 Weddings
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Thank You note question

vineyard12vineyard12
500 Comments
in May 2012 Weddings
I had a surprise shower on Sunday and now I need to write and send thank you notes. What is everyone doing for theirs? Do they match your invites? Does it even matter? Also, do I need to write thank you notes AFTER the wedding to thank those that attended? Or just shower/gifts thank you's? I've never recieved TY notes for attending a wedding, or even a shower for that matter (so rude, I know). I just want to make sure I do the right thing.

Can't believe how close we're getting....
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Re: Thank You note question

  • caitlinc09caitlinc09
    500 Comments
    I sent TY notes to everyone who attended my shower; they all brought gifts so it was kind of a two-for. I also sent TY notes to everyone who sent gifts but didn't make it to the shower.
    After the wedding, I plan to send TY notes only to people who sent/brought gifts. Sending them to everyone who attends could get a little crazy!
    The TY notes I'm using are just my personal card stationary, nothing matching. 
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  • JaimeD727JaimeD727
    10 Comments
    I just sent off my shower thank you notes (they matched the shower invites, but that's definitely not a must).

    I think it's absolutely necessary that you send out wedding thank you notes as well. FI and I have been to only a couple weddings where we didn't receive a thank you note and it really ended up overshadowing the entire wedding experience.
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  • csgmancsgman member
    100 Comments Second Anniversary
    I agree that TY's should go out for both the shower and the wedding.  They are different events and both warrant a TY card.  I'm not sure if it's just me, but in my circle everyone gives the bride/groom a wedding gift (separate from any shower/pre-wedding gifts).  Assuming this is the case with your family/friends,  you would be thanking them not only for attending your wedding, but for their generous gift. 
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  • skpurnellskpurnell
    100 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2012-weddings_thank-you-note-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:f0ca0bc1-9255-4120-8042-b40e7f3e99c5Discussion:0f72ff98-14ca-499d-9981-ce1e87153712Post:dc338949-9e2c-4760-9c2c-1f08f9764c8a">Re: Thank You note question</a>:
    [QUOTE]I sent TY notes to everyone who attended my shower; they all brought gifts so it was kind of a two-for. I also sent TY notes to everyone who sent gifts but didn't make it to the shower. After the wedding, I plan to send TY notes only to people who sent/brought gifts. Sending them to everyone who attends could get a little crazy! The TY notes I'm using are just my personal card stationary, nothing matching. 
    Posted by caitlinc09[/QUOTE]

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  • leopardgurl831leopardgurl831
    100 Comments
    My thank you notes don't match for the shower or wedding.  I just picked them up at target.  So for sending thank you notes you should send one for every gift you get in the mail, everyone who gave you a gift or a card for the shower, and everyone who gives you a gift or a card to the wedding.  Pretty much anytime someone gives you something thank them.
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  • amanda14lynneamanda14lynne
    100 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2012-weddings_thank-you-note-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:f0ca0bc1-9255-4120-8042-b40e7f3e99c5Discussion:0f72ff98-14ca-499d-9981-ce1e87153712Post:98838b61-61c2-41a4-be18-ebc68e4d2dfd">Re: Thank You note question</a>:
    [QUOTE]My thank you notes don't match for the shower or wedding.  I just picked them up at target.  So for sending thank you notes <strong>you should send one for every gift you get in the mail, everyone who gave you a gift or a card for the shower, and everyone who gives you a gift or a card to the wedding.  Pretty much anytime someone gives you something thank them.
    </strong>Posted by leopardgurl831[/QUOTE]

    This!  I am not planning on sending one to everyone who attends the wedding.... but chances are, they will have given a gift at some point in time so the will get a TY.  We ordered post cards from snapfish with one of our engagement pictures on the front!  :)
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  • cpm1223cpm1223
    500 Comments

    One of my BMs had her father (who works in the printing business) design my shower invites and I love them so much that I asked if he could make matching thank you cards and he said that he could!

    I agree with PPs, send thank you's to people who gave you gifts at the shower, sent gifts if they couldn't make it to the shower, send you a wedding gift, or bring a wedding gift.

    You don't need to send anyone who didn't give you a gift (shower or wedding) a thank you.

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  • Melissa51212Melissa51212 member
    500 Comments
    I sent thank you to all who came or sent a gift. Also will send to all wedding attends.
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  • vineyard12vineyard12
    500 Comments
    Thank you ladies. I was planning to send TYs to anyone who gave a gift, and since the wedding is only 50 people, I think I will send TYs after the wedding. I just feel it's a nice gesture, being a DW and all.
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  • caitlinc09caitlinc09
    500 Comments
    edited March 2012
    I think it being a DW changes things a little, and TYs even when no gifts were given are probably appropriate. Mainly because people had to spend extra money to go.
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  • mandi921vhmandi921vh member
    Eighth Anniversary 2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    I agree with all PPs.
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  • sarnoonsarnoon
    10 Comments
    I think it's only polite that you send thank yous for everything, even those who attend the wedding but don't bring physical gifts.  You invited them to be part of your day, and they came.  Chances are most were giving up something else they could be doing to attend so it's a nice gesture to acknowledge that their presence alone was significant to you and you valued it.
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  • vineyard12vineyard12
    500 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2012-weddings_thank-you-note-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:f0ca0bc1-9255-4120-8042-b40e7f3e99c5Discussion:0f72ff98-14ca-499d-9981-ce1e87153712Post:61327534-fb79-4413-b952-3a9ad7f9edaf">Re: Thank You note question</a>:
    [QUOTE]I think it being a DW changes things a little, and TYs even when no gifts were given are probably appropriate. Mainly because people had to spend extra money to go.
    Posted by caitlinc09[/QUOTE]

    I agree with this, and that's what I was thinking.
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