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Ohio-Toledo

asking bm's and dresses

I have two questions.  #1: When did you ask your bridal party to be in your wedding?  I know there are timelines that you can look at, and most say 12-9 months.  But I am really curious what everyone else did, because I know lots of people that have asked people to be in their wedding, and then when the time come for their wedding, thay are not that close to the person anymore.  #2: When did you start looking for your wedding gown, and when did you purchase?  I really wasnt even thinking about looking yet (bc I want to loose some weight before I even TRY ON a dress).  But everyone keeps asking me if I have looked, and also when I look at a lot of girls pages on here that are having weddings this summer, they have got their dress already!!

Re: asking bm's and dresses

  • rinoa0587rinoa0587 member
    Ninth Anniversary 10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I did both way too early. I got my dress at like a year and a half before the wedding and I wish I had waited until closer to like five-four months before the wedding because I had a lot of stress all at once and gained about 15 pounds and had to take out my dress and it was still tight the day of. I also wish I had waited to ask my friend to be a bm because we drifted a lot before the wedding to the point where she just hung out with us for wedding stuff and I think she was just being polite so as to not screw up the wedding party. we still talk a bit but hardly the amount we used to. had I waited until six months out to ask her, I think she would've declined. same for the guys. my hubby ended up changing one groomsman because he and the other guy had a falling out, and he ended wanting to change another GM because those two kinda got into it, but he didn't because the other guy had already paid for his tux. both of the two we wished we hadn't asked ended up leaving the reception early. wow long story, moral is if they aren't family I'd say wait enough that they'll have time to get dresses and help you with the fun stuff but late enough that you know they'll still be close by time the wedding rolls around
  • edited December 2011
    1-I asked my girls about 12 months before. I was worried that 1 out of the 7 would become distant. Especially since half of them live out of state, but they didnt. I tried to do more non-wedding activities or conversations with them so they didnt want to just get it over with.2-I bought my dress 14 months before the wedding, but 6 months before I changed my mind on what I really wanted. I was extremely lucky that I was able to exchange my dress for another. It really depends on where and who makes your dress. Some of them you dont want to wait too long because you will have to pay extra to get it here to get altered in time.:)Good luck.
  • MerinMerin member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I asked my bridesmaids about 8 months out, I think, and DH asked his groomsmen/best man just about 4 months out. I definitely do recommend not doing it too early, but just make sure you have enough time for the dresses/tuxes etc.. Some friendships you know won't change, but others can/will. And my dress was purchased about 11 months out I think. I certainly didn't need it that early, but I went shopping with my mom and found "the one". I had doubts a couple of times in between, but I knew it was the right one. Good luck! :)
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  • edited December 2011
    I asked my bm about 10 months before hand. I was going to ask sooner, but wanted to see how our friendship evolved. I was starting to loose contact with them. I was satisfied with my selections. I think my hubby asked the gm a while before hand, I know it was before I asked the ladies. As for my dress, I started looking about 10 months before and ordered it about 8 months before. It came in in Dec and I had my first fitting in Feb. My wedding was in April.
  • nyreknyrek member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I asked my BM about a year out...but truly wished I would have waited. Looking back...there was someone else I really should have asked and didn't, but I really can't afford to add in another person. My gown I shopped for and purchased also about a year out.  Again, wished I would have waited because I have found another dress I love so much more.  This time I'm waiting to actually order it until December or January, which for me will be 7 or 8 months out.BM dresses we've talked about...but since their dresses will be red and the wedding isn't until July, we're hoping that we can take advantage of some of the discounted dresses after the holidays. We've got plenty of time for those. Good luck...do whatever suits you best! 
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  • edited December 2011
    I asked my BMs about 15 months out, and really wish I had waited until about 9 months before. One of the women I asked, I have not seen in over a year, and when it came down to picking out dresses, she bailed on me. I started looking for my gown in July for a June wedding. I finally found the one and ordered in the beginning of November and I got it at the end of January. Some dresses can take up to 6 months to come in, and since it took me almost 5 months to find a dress, I would say you could start looking. GL!
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