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"In memory of"?? (kind of long)

B2B10232001B2B10232001
100 Comments
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
I havne't posted on here in such a long time, but I'm stumped... I'm working on my programs and am trying to figure out a way to recognize those who have passed (I have 2 grandfathers and a grandmother and FI has 2 grandmothers) so far I have this as far as wording for the program (it'll go on the back side): "Flowers on the altar have been placed in loving memory of those who are no longer with us (list of names and relationship to us) We wish you could be standing here with us today, but we know you are here in spirit. Your love will be in bloom in our hearts, on this special day, and always." So I know I was a vase with 5 flowers... and I had an idea that might be kind of crazy (here's where you ladies come in)... I wanted to place small items that remind us of each of them, for example; my grandmother was a "rock hound" so i would put a small rock that was hers; my grandpa was a barber so maybe some hair ctting scissors (or there was this plaid tie that he wore every christmas)... I thought about putting them in the vase but then i remembered that there would be water in there (duh) so maybe on the table next to it, or maybe not at the alter but have a table at the reception... or should I just nix the idea and do something else... I'm so confused... maybe I should just go to bed... hahaha
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Re: "In memory of"?? (kind of long)

  • Night_SpriteNight_Sprite
    5000 Comments Combo Breaker
    I think anything more than the flowers are overkill.  I even think the spirit stuff is a little much. 
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  • dukeylouisedukeylouise
    100 Comments
    I don't really understand the whole idea behind a tribute to those who have passed.  I mean, the way people deal with death is such a personal experience, I wouldn't feel like it was appropriate at a wedding.  The only thing I would feel comfortable doing is placing flowers, but not making mention of it. I think it is overkill to list everyone and put trinkets out.
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  • kristinanddankristinanddan member
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    I think the items are too much. I would leave it at the flowers.Also, I think your sentence really should read:Flowers have been placed on the altar....the way it is now, it is hard to read.
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  • bel138bel138 member
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Comments
    That's kinda weird and way creepy. It reminds me of museum exhibits that display items that were present when a notable person died - like buttons and signs from the day Kennedy was assassinated. I really don't like memorial things at weddings. I think they are way Debbie Downer. I lost my mom when I was a teenager, and I will wear one of the matching lockets we had. I think something private is best in these situations.
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  • MamaKinMamaKin member
    100 Comments
    yes, keep it simple. "flowers have been place on the altar in loving memory of those no longer with us" followed by the list of names. i'd skip the line after that, and not add anything else to the flowers. rocks and scissors and bowties may mean something to you, but will perplex your other guests. everyone can understand and appreciate a simple memorial.
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  • ggmaeggmae member
    5000 Comments
    We just wrote on the back of our programs:In Loving MemoryName (Relation)Name (Relation)Name (Relation)Name (Relation)Name (Relation)
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  • ggmaeggmae member
    5000 Comments
    Retread raises a good point. My aunt was a reader and she came up to the front to read, but was teary and sniffling. Later on she told me that she had read her late husband's name in the program before coming up to read and was touched. I'm sure that it reminded her of their wedding day and she was sad about that, but she was really happy that we included him.
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  • clseale13clseale13 member
    500 Comments
    I also would just do the flowers and keep it simple. Both FI and I lost our fathers when we were 18. In the programs we're just going to put something along the lines of "In loving memory of those we've loved and lost who can only be with us today in spirit, especially Jeremy (my last name) and Douglas (FI last name.) Your memories live within us and your love surrounds us today and always."
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  • B2B10232001B2B10232001
    100 Comments
    thank you so much for your feedback... I get these crazy ideas late at night and now that it's a fresh day, the idea is not so great... haha so i think i still want the flowers and just put in the program "Flowers have been placed on the alter in loving memory of those who are no longer with us (list of names and relationship to us) Your love will be in bloom in our hearts, on this special day, and always." and cut out the part about being here in spirit... i think it sounds kinda likt a downer... this will be on the back of the programs so you kind of have to be looking for it... I loved my grandpa so much, and it didn't even dawn on me that he wouldn't be there until yesterday (he passed 10 years ago so i knew he wouldn't be there but it didn't really sink) I was reading about different way people honor their family members who have passed, and some people leave empty seats with a single rose...I don't like that, I wouldn't want it to be so obvious
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