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question for all

I popped over here after looking at a post on the P & E board from a girl whose parents were giving her 5-10K for her wedding. She was asking for help on HOW to cut the guest list, convince FI to not have the huge party, etc. She was already delaying her wedding for 3 years to save for it. And the girls just RIPPED into her because they thought she was whining. Then, she told them she was from the northeast/mid-atlantic and things just cost more here (which we ALL know they do!) and they ripped into her for that one, too. Does anyone else feel like a lot of the rest of the country doesn't get how different things are around here? I'd be afraid to post on that board to ask for help!
imageAnniversary

RIP Dr. Irving Fishman - 10/1/19-7/25/10 - thank you for holding on for me.
You made my wedding day complete.

Re: question for all

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    edited December 2011
    I don't post on P&E at all. On a good day, they can give great advice. On a bad day, they rip you a new one for anything and everything. That said, I don't know that it's much different over here than anywhere else. Some places having a wedding costs 1/8 of what a NY wedding costs, but you have to remember that since the cost of living is so much lower, so are the salaries. Honestly, on an international board it's best to leave the prices out of the equation altogether. It only ever starts fights.
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    alithebridealithebride member
    Name Dropper 5 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    edited December 2011
    LOL we all know that pretty much everything is more expensive here than the balance of the country-gas, houses, taxes, food, restaurants, weddings etc....but honestly-really-how could someone from say middle iowa know how much higher the cost of everything is? they pay 100k for a 5 bedroom house in teh middle of nowhere with nothing but chain places around and 3k for a buffet, cash bar wedding whre they get spatulas for wedding presents. they just have not experienced it so they can't know.

     

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    bonniebrettbonniebrett member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    i started posting here because i felt that i couldn't relate to my monthly board in terms of how much things cost. a lot of people here seemed to have the same problem. and, i've been on boards where i've been so upset at the way the girls talk to each other. it's really awful. the long island and november boards, luckily have nice, helpful people.
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    stina11stina11 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    A lot of women come to the boards to be able to talk about the wedding and make plans as much as they want. This is so bc sumtimes people in our lives don't want to hear about it 24/7. With that said I think its really rediculous that some ladies are nasty to others. We are all here bc we want to be supported honestly and to support others honestly with out being rude. I can honestly say that everyone on this long island board is great. No one has every been rude or nasty and they are all very supportive. We also all kno that things can be very costly over here and numbers spoken here are not ripped on.
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    arecarec member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    i posted once on that board about favors and ideas for them because i dont want them to be the average candles cookie cutter favors that you keep for a week and then throw out...i can not tell you how horribly nasty they were on that board, part of me felt bad for them, to the point that i wrote back, you girls are getting married and this is the way you respond to others, your all supposed to be in a happy time in your life... i stayed away from that board after that and the responses, a girl there even told me i should try giving out dictionaries as my favors because apparently didnt like that i wasnt using commas and semicolons in my post as she thought was needed... i stay on this board now, its safer i think haha    
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    edited December 2011
    When i first got engaged about 9 months ago I posted a few things on this site. People were so nasty. When I said where I was getting married, people only commented with horrible things. I stopped posting until a few months ago.  I feel now people are more supportive and might just share a bad experience, but not actually go out of their way to make you feel bad about vender's that you are already using. Also, please remember you don't know these people, so don't take what they say too much to heart. (that is when they are just being negative and not actually helping) Hope this helps.
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    edited December 2011
    What is P&E? Sorry...probably a dumb question??
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    edited December 2011
    It's the Planning & Etiquette Board. It's mostly the same group of regulars who are already married who post on there. They don't talk much about wedding planning or etiquette. LOL!
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    edited December 2011
    As a midwest mama who has lived on Long Island for more than 20 years,  I just wanted to respond.  Yes things cost more here.  Mostly real estate though.  Food isn't much different.  Gas isn't much different unless you are in the TX/OK area.  Mostly it is just the real estate.  But expectations here are very different.  The cake and punch reception in the church basement just isn't done here.  The photographers are professionals not guys who do it on the weekends.  Nobody makes their own dresses here (not even for a children's dance recital.)  That is why you don't find many midwest girls living together while saving up for a wedding.  I can only think of one  midwest wedding that served a sit down dinner.  The others were all buffet if a meal was served.  I went to one where the Bride's family had serious money, and she had 6 BM, but the reception was buffet at a hall. No view, no valet parking. A lot of the weddings I went to were in hotel ball rooms with no windows.  So they aren't paying top dollar for on the water locations etc.
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