NWR: What do you think? Proceed with caution, Kardashian related.

sbc2013 · July 2012

Ok. Judge me if you must, but I was watching Keeping up with the Kardashians today and had a deep thought (who would have thunk it). It was the episode where the family is in the Dominican Republic (I think, wherever they went on their most recent family vacation episode) and Scott got mad after everyone was harping on him and left to go to another hotel. Later he tells Kourtney that the only reason he agreed to have another baby with her is because she promised that they could get married after the baby. Then we see Kourtney doing that talking to the audience piece and she explains that she knows she is indecisive but she feels that she and Scott are in a committed relationship akin to marriage and that's all she can offer right now. So here comes my deep thought:

In this situation, Scott is practically begging Kourtney to marry him, and we have seen him doing this before--he's bought the ring and then chickened out, asked her a bazillion times to make a stronger commitment, etc. She has made it clear that she can't do that for him right now because of her issues with her parents' divorce. While Scott's perseverance is really sweet (to me, at least, it seems that he really loves her), he is pretty much pressuring Kourtney to marry him. On the episode he even says, "I won't keep trying forever." (And I agree that he shouldn't keep trying forever.) If the tables were turned and Kourtney was pressuring Scott to marry her, I feel that as a society we would accept any anger/frustration that he might spew because "he is feeling pressured." But when it's a man begging a woman, we (and by we I really mean I) find it sweet and endearing and loving, and why won't she just marry him??! Does anyone feel me on this?!

CN: Using Keeping up with the Kardashians as a lens for my analysis (I am such a dork...), how do you feel about the gender roles we assign to the marriage seeker and the marriage accepter? Women propose to men these days and I think that's awesome, but why do we accept a man pressuring a woman into marriage as sweet (a la Kardashians) and then think of a women pressuring a man as controlling?

melb2013 · July 2012

BTW, LOVE the Kardashians

Dude, I would never want to marry Scott. I think he is a severe alcoholic, but Kourtney just uses him to have babies.

I'm going to say something that seems to be an unpopular opinion. It is somehow perceived as "anti-feminist", which is not me at all.

I think that men are just different than women. Men are the hunters. They like to pursue. Men don't typically like women who pursue them. I guess it's not challenging or something for them. The men who aren't like this, like women who do everything for them, which is not for me.

I do think there are gender roles in how men and women interact with each other. I don't think that women should propose to men- it usually doesn't work out. Men know that they are expected to propose, so if they don't, that's becaus they didn't want to.

Annas2013 · July 2012

I agree with melb on this one. I would never propose to a man. That just seems so wrong to me. And yes, men typically are the pursuers. My FI would never have been okay if I had pursued him like he pursued me. He would have felt emasculated.

Typical gender roles still exist. A woman who pursued a man like Scott goes after Kourtney would probably be considered desperate. For a man it's somewhat romantic (and creepy to me but that's just my opinion).

PJBHL5 · July 2012

meh, a woman proposing to a man doesn't weird me out. My mom did that to my dad 30 years ago and they are probably one of the most kick-butt, strong couples I know.
That being said, a small fraction of me finds Scott pleading with her to marry him sweet... but mostly I find it sad.

But I'm kind of known for being the less-sentimental "guy type" person in a realtionship, so maybe that's it?

SSaltzman87 · July 2012

I sometimes watch it too, lol.

I honestly think that Scott could be Bipolar. Their whole relationship boggles me, it's almost like Kourtney gets a sick sense of pleasure from leading him on and being cold to him.

hisbabygirl76 · July 2012

First Ill admit I watch the show, its like a car crash you cant turn your head away from. I dont see anything wrong with them having their babies and being committed but not legally binding by marriage. Granted I dont get why she would want to marry Scott anyways...but I digress LOL. (although mason is adorable so we know he makes cute babies). I dont know, that is just one weird situation.

PS I am an oddball woman as I asked my first husband to marry me. My parents always said that should have been a huge red flag right there. (should have listend to them)

sbc2013 · July 2012

I also wouldn't propose to a man (if I wasn't already engaged, that is). I know that personally, if I wasn't the one being proposed to but was doing the proposing, I would always wonder why, if he said yes, he didn't just ask himself. I don't think a man would say yes just to avoid hurting a woman's feelings (or I hope they wouldn't), but I know I would wonder about it. I mean, if you see yourself marrying me anyway, why didn't you just ask me? I think I just repeated myself.

I also think Scott has some issues, but I think that Kourtney's issues are actually more pressing because she does nothing about them. I know she sees a therapist, but I actually find it more disturbing that she sees one and doesn't make a single change in her life. I guess I feel like if she cared enough about Scott, she would have already made an effort to show him that. He's not perfect and we see that playing out in a lot of different ways on the show, but at least he makes changes and apologies. I don't think I've heard Kourtney apologize once for the hoops she makes him jump through. That doesn't seem very loving to me. I agree with PP that she seems cold. I don't think he should act out in the way that he does, but I can totally understand acting out in general--how many times can you be told, by your supposed beloved, that you aren't enough?

I want Khloe and Lamar to have babies.

melb2013 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2013-weddings_nwr-what-do-you-think-proceed-with-caution-kardashian-related?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:ea657a87-d1dc-4588-999f-31c9deeef720Discussion:0169412e-bd9e-4721-9755-4ab105068853Post:914ff4dc-3c25-4bc5-9eed-a64d16e05ab2">Re: NWR: What do you think? Proceed with caution, Kardashian related.</a>:
[QUOTE]I also wouldn't propose to a man (if I wasn't already engaged, that is). I know that personally, if I wasn't the one being proposed to but was doing the proposing, I would always wonder why, if he said yes, he didn't just ask himself. I don't think a man would say yes just to avoid hurting a woman's feelings (or I hope they wouldn't), but I know I would wonder about it. I mean, if you see yourself marrying me anyway, why didn't you just ask me? I think I just repeated myself. I also think Scott has some issues, but I think that Kourtney's issues are actually more pressing because she does nothing about them. I know she sees a therapist, but I actually find it more disturbing that she sees one and doesn't make a single change in her life. I guess I feel like if she cared enough about Scott, she would have already made an effort to show him that. He's not perfect and we see that playing out in a lot of different ways on the show, but at least he makes changes and apologies. I don't think I've heard Kourtney apologize once for the hoops she makes him jump through. That doesn't seem very loving to me. I agree with PP that she seems cold. I don't think he should act out in the way that he does, but I can totally understand acting out in general--how many times can you be told, by your supposed beloved, that you aren't enough?<strong> I want Khloe and Lamar to have babies.</strong>
Posted by sbc2013[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Haha LOVE this!</div><div>
</div><div>I think that she makes Scott jump through hoops because she is trying to emotionally protect herself from him. What I don't understand is why she doesn't just leave him already?! I think it's a really co-dependant relationship. She is too insecure to leave him and she puts up with him so he stays. The entire Kardashian family enables his addiction by refusing to recognize it for what it is and always putting him in situations where alcohol is involved- but of course they have to, because this is their entire lifestyle. I have several alcoholics in my family, and my mother enables them in a similar way. I go with her to AL-ANON sometimes. And now I'm related the Kardashains to my family... sad stuff

</div>

sbc2013 · July 2012

I just had a Eureka moment, when you said co-dependent. It makes total sense--she loves him but she hates him and she's too insecure to leave him but she knows she should (and often says so) yet can't imagine what she would do without him. I feel really sad for Scott because I feel like if/when this eventually falls apart, he gets the very short end of the stick. He seems to be a great dad--that is, when Kourtney doesn't have Mason attached to the kangaroo pouch she had sewn onto her body. Was that too hateful? I just really don't agree with attachment parenting.

NWR: What do you think? Proceed with caution, Kardashian related.

Re: NWR: What do you think? Proceed with caution, Kardashian related.

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