Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Just Engaged and Proposals
Just Engaged and Proposals
New Discussion

Glad to be here

bensprincessjessbensprincessjess member
First Comment
in Just Engaged and Proposals
So, I hesitated to post here, me and my Fiancée   are younger, with NO intention of tying the knot TOO SOON, so no comments about the 'OH you should wait till we are out of university' please or YOU are too young, we aren't statistics, we are two people in love at one of the number 1 universities in Canada, working through the ups and downs of living together and university and very much in love . I am 19 and my fiancée is 18 soon to be 19, both in university working on completely our degrees, I'm here on loans and he is not. We have not announced our engagement yet, but have started planning.

 The wedding because we both have elderly grandparents who we want to be there on our special day, we also are ready to start our lives, we have already started planning getting our teaching degrees and looked at over seas jobs in places like China, we both want to see the world! I'm glad to be a part of this site, it's been useful and so far our favorite magazine when it comes to planning. We have a year and a half-two years but want to present a solid plan to both our parents, and both are getting as creative as we can because we want this wedding to be affordable and OURS, and being the creative people we are having a BLAST coming up with cool alternatives! So I'm glad to be here....
Report Reply to Post

Re: Glad to be here

  • Tula214Tula214 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    Welcome, and congrats!

    I'm 19, and my FI is 20. Even though we are young, and really don't have much money, we decided telling everyone ASAP would be best for our situation. We got a lot of different reactions. From people being happy, to surprised, people telling me I'm too young, and even my in-laws asking if I was pregnant. No, congrats, just that question.

    Good luck with your planning. You have plenty of time to plan.
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
  • snwilson0416snwilson0416 member
    First Comment
    Fiancée=female, fiancé=male
    Not trying to be bitchy, just letting you know so you don't keep making this mistake.
    image
    Report Reply
  • bensprincessjessbensprincessjess member
    First Comment
    Sorry I was using auto-correct with the spelling and I messed up, I'm not here to be bitched at or condescended at. Remember we all have life experience no matter what our age, some of us are young and still learning, so thank you for correcting my spelling mistake.

    We are keeping it  on the DL for now, because both of us want it to be a special thing and done right, it's kinda nice having something so wonderful between us....but it's just who we are and I AM definitely NOT pregnant, we both are extremely careful because both of us want KIDS at a time and place where we can potentially give them the quality of life that we want for them. They are a LONG way off, beside I believe getting married because you are pregnant just to make it  more socially acceptable is wrong, and not needed in todays society. They are people who become the statistics.... 


    I think the reason people tend to look down on younger brides/people who are engaged young is because people tend to do these things latter in life, where as even 20-30 years ago people were getting married at a young age, heck people used to marry their high school sweethearts, and now if you are young and engaged it's almost feels like you've done something wrong because adults thing at almost 20 you don't know what love is, and you don't have any life experience.... So I'm trying to combat hostility because I know some adults won't agree with people our age even thinking about it, but we are thinking 2-5 years down the road, and aren't going to be spending all that much money, we are being as creative as possible :) I know as much as I want to rush out tomorrow(both of us) and get married we have to be responsible...... but it's exciting to know me and Ben aren't the only ones our age out there :) 
    Report Reply
  • AdeleDazeemAdeleDazeem member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_glad-here?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:683Discussion:d74af25d-41a5-4a1d-a2a0-12f394d5d3a2Post:d122f792-a083-420e-8f1d-193469b92a63">Re: Glad to be here</a>:
    [QUOTE]Sorry I was using auto-correct with the spelling and I messed up, I'm not here to be bitched at or condescended at. Remember we all have life experience no matter what our age, some of us are young and still learning
    Posted by bensprincessjess[/QUOTE]

    Remember that many people who are going to say things like "you are too young!" and "you should wait for awhile to get married" are truly thinking in your best interests.  Most people who say these things have been there - aged 18 and 19 and onward - and know what happens in your twenties and how life changes drastically during that time period.  They are trying to pass on their wisdom, albeit not always in the best possible way.

    I think it's worth it to hear what they say.  Stamping your feet and saying "you don't understand!" is actually a rather childish way to deal with criticism.

    Best of luck to you.

    Report Reply
  • abgpal11abgpal11 member
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_glad-here?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:683Discussion:d74af25d-41a5-4a1d-a2a0-12f394d5d3a2Post:cc6afc69-91e6-4245-8d5d-85ef7552eecf">Re: Glad to be here</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Glad to be here : Remember that many people who are going to say things like "you are too young!" and "you should wait for awhile to get married" are truly thinking in your best interests.  <strong>Most people who say these things have been there - aged 18 and 19 and onward - and know what happens in your twenties and how life changes drastically during that time period.  They are trying to pass on their wisdom, albeit not always in the best possible way. I think it's worth it to hear what they say.  Stamping your feet and saying "you don't understand!" is actually a rather childish way to deal with criticism.</strong> Best of luck to you.
    Posted by Joy2611[/QUOTE]

    So true.  At 18, I was convinced I was going to marry the guy I started dating at 16.  I was SO convinced that we were the ones that 'could make it work'.  Yeah, he turned out to be the biggest jerk ever.  I am SO thankful that I didn't go down the marriage road at that time any further than just talking about it.

    I don't know you so it's very well possible that you could get married and make it work.  We're just saying it doesn't hurt to wait a little bit.  Taking the relationship aspect aside, you are going to change SO much in the next few years.  I think about how I was at 18 and wonder what the heck I was thinking.  You are both going to grow and mature as individuals.  There's a possibility that no matter how determined you are, you might grow in different directions.  It's good to keep in mind that you are each going to grow in your own way on top of growing together (and that goes for the rest of your lives, too).

    Again, not telling you what to do.  I know a few people that got married at 18 and are happy as ever.  But I also know plenty of people that I went to high school with that were 100% certain they were going to live happily ever after.  And now they're divorced with 2 or 3 kids.

    I'm just saying that you both need to think about and be aware of the fact that you are both going to be changing a lot as individuals.  Just as you are different now from how you were at 16, you're going to be different at 20 and you're going to be different from that at 22 and 24 and 30 and so on.

    With all of that sad, congrats and best of luck!  I honestly do hope things work out for you!
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    Report Reply
  • denisentim0311denisentim0311
    First Comment
    I was a young bride when I was 22 and it was the worst mistake of my life.  I have actually made the mistake of getting married to my son's fathers because I was pregnant.  I got all of the lectures from everyone too, but I never listened to them either.  My ex's parents told me to get an abortion because they didn't want me to have the baby by their son who was almost 20 when we got married.
    I think back now and I say to myself, if I knew than what I know now; I probably wouldn't have gotten married.  But then I say to myself, if I didn't do then what I had done; I would never have met my fiance and be happiest that I've been in my whole life.
    If people say something to you just take it with a grain of salt.  You and your fiance will be happy if it's meant to be.  If you feel you need to keep it a secret, then do so; but don't keep it too long because if someone slips in front of someone else than they'll have more things to say and you don't want that.
    I wish you and your fiance the best of luck and all of the happiness in the world.
    Congratulations on your engagement!!!!!!

    MySpace Countdown Wedding Countdown Ticker
    Report Reply
  • loves2shop4shoesloves2shop4shoes member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    At 18, I was positive I was going to marry the guy I was dating for 2.5 years.  We had an ugly, messy, drawn out break up.  The kid did me a favor.  Four years (and what feels like a lifetime) later, I'm with the love of my life and am in law school.

    FI works full time.  My career path is set and we're STILL waiting 2 years to get married.

    I really think you should be careful not to rush into things.  A LOT will change in the next few years of your life.

    image

    image
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards