MOH issue.

ecribelin · November 2009

Thank you all for your opinions/advice.

SarahPLiz · November 2009

There are no real duties for a MOH except buying the dress, showing up clean and sober, holding your bouquet, and signing the marriage license. So far, she hasn't shirked any of her duties.

As far as a bachelorette party, they are nice but no one HAS to throw one for you. Its not a guaranteed thing for every bride. If your other BMs want to get together to plan it, let them.
As long as she supports your relationship with your FI, in that she is not against it, then she is sufficiently supporting you. Have you asked her as a friend only, not wedding related, if anything else is going on in her life, besides purposely avoiding you?

gottahavashorti · November 2009

[QUOTE] My fiance has texted her telling her that she is hurting me and that she needs to either step it up or step down to a bridesmaid position and she just ignores him.
Posted by ecribelin[/QUOTE]

Your fiance needs to apologize to her. He was completely out of line and she should not be asked to perform extra duties she did not volunteer for of her own accord or to step down.

She does not have to get alterations done by your seamstress. She does not have to plan a bachelorette party, bridal shower, work on favors, anything of that sort. You are not entitled to a bachelorette party. If someone wants to organize one for you, that is their choice. The duties of your MOH are to buy a dress of your choice (within reason), stand up for you at the ceremony, and smile in pictures.

lyndausvi · November 2009

I only saw my BMs twice during my entire 15 month engagement. The last time before the week of the wedding was about 90 days out.

I did not attend and alterations appoinments with any of them. One of their dresses I did not see until the day of the wedding.

I also did not have a b-party. It would have been nice if I had one, but I did not stress over not having one. Certainly did not think any less of my BMs.

Point is you seemed to be stressed and are looking for excuses to be mad at someone. Just let it go. btw - You do not need 55 days to plan a b-party.

mbcdefg · November 2009

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_moh-problem-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:24948bb5-e24b-4834-be5a-b646cd563760Post:ae700448-632b-4636-bbf3-f1c58d9f56e8">nevermind!</a>:
[QUOTE]whatever!
Posted by ecribelin[/QUOTE]

<img src="http://theartistresolution.webs.com/cartman-1.jpg" alt="http://theartistresolution.webs.com/cartman-1.jpg" />

gottahavashorti · November 2009

So you were looking for validation, not advice?

blackfire5th · November 2009

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_moh-problem-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:24948bb5-e24b-4834-be5a-b646cd563760Post:ae700448-632b-4636-bbf3-f1c58d9f56e8">MOH issue.</a>:
[QUOTE]I guess no one will understand unless they are here to see what is going on. Thank you all for your opinions.
Posted by ecribelin[/QUOTE]

Well, since you deleted, I guess I won't be able to see what is going on. I'm sorry you didn't have your bm sign contracts when you asked.

saisongbird · November 2009

Awww, it disappeared! I can't believe I missed it!

duckie1905 · November 2009

If your FI has really been calling her he needs to stop immediately and apologize because that's particularly heinous. So, not only are you mad at her for no reason but you need your FI to tell her that because why, you can't tell her how hurt you are yourself? Super passive aggressive.

bablingbrooke · November 2009

Recap?

emilyinchile · November 2009

Another one...annoying. The first response to every post should just start quoting the whole thing!

gottahavashorti · November 2009

Recap:

OP and FI used to hang out with MOH and MOH's bf all the time. After OP got engaged, MOH and MOH bf dropped off the face of the earth. She has not seen MOH since her shower.

FI keeps texting MOH to say she should step up her game or be a BM instead. MOH ignores. OP texts MOH about getting alterations done at her alterations place. MOH says she found something better. This is for some reason a problem.

Wedding is in 55 days, no way is that enough time to plan a bachelorette party! And another BM has stepped up to do all of MOH's duties, so MOH sucks.

LarissaAnn · November 2009

<snort>

OP sounds a little stressed and like she's overreacting just a tad.

Or I could be nuts.

gottahavashorti · November 2009

She's not overreacting, we just didn't get it because we weren't there.

LarissaAnn · November 2009

Oooooooooooooooooooh, riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight. My mistake.

emilyinchile · November 2009

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_moh-problem-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:24948bb5-e24b-4834-be5a-b646cd563760Post:6ce70a33-ace7-47c9-bd52-625f2145fad6">Re: MOH issue.</a>:
[QUOTE]She's not overreacting, we just didn't get it because we weren't there.
Posted by gottahavashorti[/QUOTE]

You know, we really should remember that more often. Silly WP board. (end sarcasm font)

gottahavashorti · November 2009

Hmm looks like she DD'd the reply about how we didn't get it, too. And I forgot my sarcasm font

bablingbrooke · November 2009

Ah, so same good logic as that "bride" who was having her "real" wedding 5 years after she got married "for insurance": this is HER wedding and we just don't understand how important it is!!eleven!

MyNameIsNot · November 2009

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_moh-problem-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:24948bb5-e24b-4834-be5a-b646cd563760Post:61e1c4b5-a505-4148-8154-2c807c698ab7">Re: MOH issue.</a>:
[QUOTE] FI keeps texting MOH to say she should step up her game or be a BM instead. MOH ignores.
Posted by gottahavashorti[/QUOTE]

Fi sounds like a real jerk. Maybe that's why she's so stressed out and taking it out on the poor MOH.

lilcassers · November 2009

"step up her game" wtf.... lol what game? A wedding party is just supposed to smile and be there on your big day. THat is redonkulous!

MOH issue.

Re: MOH issue.

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