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people inviting a guest without an ok

brocksbabebrocksbabe
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
i maield my invites out and the reply card says "___ seats reserved in your honor" and I filled in the blank line to indicate how many guests were invited.  I did this because some guests we wanted to let bring a date and others we did not... so I was told this was a good way to make it clear.  However, a couple of our guests that had a 1 on the blank line actually replied for 2 people!  RUDE and I had one friends call me and say that it was rude of me to not let her bring a date.  How can I resolve this without caving in and letting them bring a guest... my budget is BLOWN already!!! 
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Re: people inviting a guest without an ok

  • aMrsin09aMrsin09
    2500 Comments
    edited September 2010
    You call them up and explain "that due to space restrictions the invitation was only you.  We hope that you'll still be able to join us.  If your plans have changed we look forward to getting together with you after the wedding".  Write it as a script and say the same thing to everyone.  Don't get into a debate with them.

    As for it being rude...if this person was in a serious relationship/engaged/married, then yes she should have had a plus one added.  Same if any are from OOT and or won't know anyone else there.  You're single cousin with a flavor of the month that lives down the street?  Not so rude at all.
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  • PharmacyBridePharmacyBride
    500 Comments
    Ditto PP

    As for it being rude- inviting guests with a plus one is a nice gesture.. but not required unless in a relationship/married or other circumstance (OOT, doesn't know anyone, etc).

    Her calling you up to accuse you of being rude- RUDE.  (Also- rude of guests to put + 1 on the card- they hope you don't call them- very passive aggressive!)  Don't let her over-reaction make you believe that what you did was that wrong.  It wasn't.

    Yes it is nice to allow +1s.. however- it isn't required- and you were not rude.

    PS. it would be rude to allow her and not others to bring dates
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