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Poll ring or house

SHAWNEE31SHAWNEE31
100 Comments
in African American Weddings
If before you got engaged your SO other said I have money for your ring and to start the wedding budget, but here is this house. I can use it for the down payment but you will not have an engagement ring for a while because he will pay the mortgage alone until you too are married so it will take longer to save the money for a ring. Or pass on the deal on this house.  Question Ring or house?  
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Re: Poll ring or house

  • miss2mrscjmiss2mrscj
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I would take the house. I know that he wants to marry me so I would take the house and then plan the wedding later.
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  • the catthe cat
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Gimme the house! a ring is only a symbolic symbol, not a necessity. i can get married with just a $30 wedding band and a JoP.
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  • Lady RedrumLady Redrum member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    House, for sure.
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  • temeikatemeika
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I say house, plan the wedding later or go to courthouse.
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  • aquarius125aquarius125 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Ring (for me its not the ring it is the committment), you can always buy a home later. I would want to get both, get a less expensive ring and still have $ for downpayment for the house. My eRing is the same ring FI's dad gave his mom when they got married over 37 yrs ago and it is not really me at all but the meaning behind it means more  to me than anything so I say that to say that I would pass on a fancy ring and get the home if it were me. You can always upgrade later.
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  • OFFOFF
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    We have a home already so I would say a ring. If we didn't I would still want a ring. What am I going to wear around my finger my mortgage?
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  • MrsJJohnson2BMrsJJohnson2B member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    House for sure! if you need a ring get a CZ and keep it moving, only person thats knows will be you and FI
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  • MrsDJaxnMrsDJaxn
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Definitely the house! That's how we did it. We bought our house in April 2008 and got engaged July 2008. I didn't get my e-ring until Christmas Day 2008 though. I was fine w/ that.We got married July 2009.
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  • SHAWNEE31SHAWNEE31
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    the reason i asked is because i choose the house, also i am old fashion i live in my apartment so he is taking care of the house alone. When going dress shopping a  ''friend "  told me i do not have a Fiance because i do not have a ring.  We are getting married on 4/17/10. When   i told my dad he said he better not see me with a ring he wants a tour of the house. So i know the ring is coming i asked him for a CZ, but he told me he wants to take care of everything .
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  • dawnbeattydawnbeatty
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I would say a house!
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  • Spim7Spim7
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    We had this conversation I chose the house. He ended up getting a bonus at work and got the ring for me anyway.
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  • Ladysun083Ladysun083
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    House definately.....
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  • MrsJJohnson2BMrsJJohnson2B member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Shawnee Im with dad show me the tour~! dont worryy about what people say! I just got my ring a few months back and we have been engaged since feb2008. I felt funny when people would look at my hand for a ring. If you need something for when your out with friends buy something small just to have.
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  • Mrs.JKforeverMrs.JKforever
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    For me I would take the ring and then we both can work on buying the house together. If he has the money now, then we will definitely have it later.Also houses cost more than the down payment, you may end up waiting 6 months or more to get your ring or even have your wedding because something house related may come up since he will be responsible for the house during your engagement.Also will the house be in both of your names or just his?  What if the engagement period turns sour, then what?Those are some of the questions I had to ask myself as well, ultimately I decided to have my dream wedding with my ring. Heck I loved showing off my ring when people would say "Oh you are engaged, let me see that ring" !!And now a year later, my husband was just layed off,and I will I make a good salary, I am thankful for my apartment bills.  I don't have to dip into/deplete our savings to cover his portion of the bills.Good luck with whatever you choose, either way you will come out on top.
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  • jonsmeshondrajonsmeshondra
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    HARD choice because I dont have a ring right now either. AARG! Dont get me started!! LOL  But I would most def choose the house!
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  • ChristynahChristynah member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    The HOUSE of Course!
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  • Stephanie24/7Stephanie24/7 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    The house! and then later on the ring.
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  • apiffanynowapiffanynow member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I would have to take the house and settle for something simple and inexpensive for a ring. You guys can always upgrade the ring at a later time.  I'm all about having the ring as a symbol, however I'm all about the man preparing a house for his bride and family to live in after  they are married.
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  • SHAWNEE31SHAWNEE31
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    mrs.jkforever, thank you for giving me my friends view point. You just said it classier
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  • Soon 2 B Mrs. WellsSoon 2 B Mrs. Wells
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I would go with the house, and when people ask about your engagement ring, I would slip the key ring on my finger. Ta Da!! LOL Good luck with whichever you two decide.
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  • blue19violetblue19violet member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    LOL, give me that house baby. I would of course walk around with the deed so that when jealous b****es ask why I'm not rocking a rock, I can show them that I'd rather be strutting my stuff in our new (paid for) home.
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  • KimRhoneKimRhone
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    House. You can always get a ring and you don't have to have a ring to be engaged or married. At least when you do get married, you don't have to worry about saving the money to get a house, you will already have it
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  • trevette1981trevette1981 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I'd take the house. As long, as we have a place to go after the wedding I'm good. I am like someone else who posted earlier. I'm in the camp of him setting up house for us. If that takes ring money as a deposit, I don't care. The ring isn't that important to me anyway.
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  • trevette1981trevette1981 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    When going dress shopping a ''friend " told me i do not have a Fiance because i do not have a ring. That was rude. So if he gave you a ring and said Merry Christmas, you'd have a fiancee, more than him asking you to marry him with no ring?LOL Sorry, I'm just blunt sometimes. Everyone doesn't do things the same way. If someone does it different, that doesn't make it wrong.
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  • MrClintonsFirstLady09MrClintonsFirstLady09
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    girl please to hell with that ring. give me my house! A ring is not that important. He still loves me and will marry whether we have a ring or not. So poo on that ring, get that house!
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  • bigshow2882bigshow2882
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I would have to say house!
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  • winter443winter443 member
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    house
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  • oburrelloburrell member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Get me a nice cheap ring and then we'll buy the house together.
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  • Lovie 129Lovie 129
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    House always! You can always get a ring. Especially in this housing market, if you can get a mortgage, go for it. We are house hunting now, although I hate it, it's worth while.
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  • BlkswnnBlkswnn
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    It's definitely a personal choice.  As for me, I agree with MrsJK and I would want the ring.  Is the house going to be in his name or both of your names?  A home purchase is something that I want me and FI to make a decision on together and pay for together.  Once you are married the house will be both of your responsiblity.  In this day with people getting laid off everyday, I plan to be all up in that decision making on what we and not he can afford.  JMO
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