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May 2012 Weddings
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Not having assigned seating

carlowgirl10carlowgirl10
100 Comments
in May 2012 Weddings
Ok..so my reception is in  a barn.....having a buffet..soo obviously, im having no assigned seating..its a very relaxed feel. 

My sister did the same thing with no resevered seating, but she had ONE table having reserved seating for our parents, ILs, and S/Os from the WP. 
Needless to say...some ppl had a problem with this cuz they felt that if you have one table reserved, that is putting those ppl *up higher* and are more important or w/e..

i dont want ANY reserved tables, Ill have enough seats for everyone.

But now, the S/Os from my WP (only 2 men, cuz everyone else has their S/O in the WP).. want to sit with my parents cuz they dont know any one at the wedding. My defense is, they dont know my parents either so whats it matter? lol 

AND my parents want their friends (only 2) of them to sit with them cuz they are from NY (we are in PA), and they wont know any one....

WHAT DO I DO!?? 

and how can i reserve ONE table? lol 
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Re: Not having assigned seating

  • vineyard12vineyard12
    500 Comments
    edited April 2012
    I would honestly assign people to tables, not specific seats. I would be confused if I were to go to a wedding and I didn't know where to sit and I ended up at some odd table with random people. It really doesn't take long to make a seating chart.  I was orginally going to do this, but now we are going to do one long table, so I might have to actually assign seats so people don't feel weird about where to sit.

    How many guests are you expecting?
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  • FutureMrsSheelerFutureMrsSheeler
    2500 Comments
    ditto vineyard. We're assigning tables so that families can sit together and what not.
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  • spalkospalko member
    500 Comments
    In my area it isn't the 'norm' to have assigned seating, I've never been to a wedding where there was assigned seating either. We're having about 150 people and we aren't doing a seating chart but we are reserving two tables, one for his immediate family and one for mine. Again, this is the normal amongst our group of friends and everyone expects to just come to the reception and find a seat. There will be more than enough room so not too many people will have to sit together that don't know each other unless they decide too. In the end, I don't think it is that difficult for people to decide on a seat (it's really just for dinner) but you could always make a sign that says something about there being no seating plan. I have seen a bunch of them on Pinterest.
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  • SunshineShadesSunshineShades member
    100 Comments
    We are assigning tables, not seats.
    TBH I myself would feel awkward arriving at a wedding and not knowing where to sit. It would be ok if I knew a lot of people that were there, or arrived with my family. But if it was just say me and a friend or FI, that would be uncomfortable.
    I also have read that it can be complicated if say a family arrives and a lot of people have already taken seats, so they have to split up and cannot sit together.

    As for what you actually asked. If your parents want their two friends to sit with them, can they not all arrive together at the reception? Then they can find seats together. Or if the other couple arrives earlier than your parents, could they not just hold two seats for your parents?

    Same goes for the WP SOs. Why dont the group of them arrive together and then find a table to sit with eachother.
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  • caitlinc09caitlinc09
    500 Comments
    We aren't doing assigned seating, originally I just thought "that's way too much work" and at my sister's wedding it turned out fine without assigning seats (with about 90 people). Then FI asked very specifically if we could have open seating because he said assigned tables/seats are uptight, so I thought it was working out well. I also told the planner/DOC at the venue that we were planning on inviting between 120 and 130 (ended up at 156) and she said that we will probably end up with about 110 and we don't need to worry about assigning tables. 
    Now that the guest count is probably going to be between 130 and 140 I'm wondering if we should assign tables...

    But to specifically answer your question: I was originally planning on having 1-2 tables with reserved signs on them and telling the WP to go to those tables. I don't see any problem with that - honestly I would expect that when I attend a wedding!
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  • mandi921vhmandi921vh member
    Eighth Anniversary 2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    We are not having a seating chart. They are not normal in my social circle. I have been to several weddings about the same size as mine and they work out just fine without one. They typically have a table reserved for the immediate family on each side. Everyone on my side knows each other and everyone on FI's side knows each other as well. We only invited our family and closest friends. 
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  • S0095042S0095042 member
    500 Comments
    fist off you can TOTALLY reserve only 1 table. If other people were offended b/c you gave a small sillute to your super close family (parents, etc) then they are out of their minds. Parents/close family almost always sit a "reserved" table.

    now the simple fix to all of this is to just assign tables, BUT if you are against this then you just have to let everyone do what they want and stop worrying about it
     :( but I still think a reserved table is totally fine for those close family members.
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  • LOMLBOATLOMLBOAT
    100 Comments
    edited April 2012
    To answer your question, you can do whatever you'd like on your wedding!!  I think a reserved table or 2 would be fine, you can't expect the WP and bride/groom parents to be away from them.

    I've never been to/heard of a wedding w/o assigned tables, never been to one with assigned seats.  We are doing tables because we have 182 people and we are at our capacity so we don't want to cause problems if people can't sit with people because they 'got there late'.  So we are pretty much putting each family at a table (aunts and uncles, then a cousin table, friends table, etc).  It actually works out really well, we have about 7-10 people at each table and I think everyone will feel comfortable with the people they are with.  Plus it's just for dinner, if people want to switch their seats, it can be done.  I've done it!
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  • levanlaerelevanlaere
    100 Comments
    edited April 2012
    I would assign tables only because I have been to many weddings where my parents, bothers and I had to split up to eat. My parents would be at one table and then my brothers and I would have to sit apart by finding the empty one seat where ever. I hated that.

    However, if you invited everyone in couples, I think it would be fine. Tables seatings are even numbers usually so the guest should be able to pair themselves up and find a seat.
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  • carlowgirl10carlowgirl10
    100 Comments
    edited April 2012
    THANKS!!! 
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  • AurorasEnvyAurorasEnvy
    2500 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2012-weddings_not-having-assigned-seating?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:f0ca0bc1-9255-4120-8042-b40e7f3e99c5Discussion:5abdb283-f40b-465a-9560-036ac1dd96ebPost:7d371333-a7bf-4075-939a-99699e7eafeb">Re: Not having assigned seating</a>:
    [QUOTE]We are assigning tables, not seats. TBH I myself would feel awkward arriving at a wedding and not knowing where to sit. It would be ok if I knew a lot of people that were there, or arrived with my family. But if it was just say me and a friend or FI, that would be uncomfortable. I also have read that it can be complicated if say a family arrives and a lot of people have already taken seats, so they have to split up and cannot sit together. As for what you actually asked. If your parents want their two friends to sit with them, can they not all arrive together at the reception? Then they can find seats together. Or if the other couple arrives earlier than your parents, could they not just hold two seats for your parents? Same goes for the WP SOs. Why dont the group of them arrive together and then find a table to sit with eachother.
    Posted by SunshineShades[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>This.  I've been to 2 weddings without assigned seating and it was awful as the only person I knew there was my FI, who was sitting at the head table in both situations.</div><div>
    </div><div>I personally don't see a problem with only reserving 1-2 tables for family or VIP guests.  Other people will get over it.  Otherwise, I'd just have your parents get there early to reserve spots for themselves and whoever wants to sit with them.

    </div>
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