My MOH hasn't bought her dress

jallen5225 · December 2011

My wedding is 4 months away and my MOH hasn't bought her dress. My 3 other BMs bought theirs dresses months ago. It takes 3 months for the dress to come in and I'm worried that she won't get it in time.
The place that the other girls got the dress from has free alterations but I found the dress online cheaper and sent it to my MOH telling her that if she is a perfect fit to buy it online. This was also kind if a hint to get on it. She said thanks but still has not ordered it.
I know she is not worried about money but I also mentioned to her that the boutique accepts payments. She just doesn't want to talk about it and avoids it. I've only brought it up twice in the past couple of months.
What should I do?

Maggie0829 · December 2011

Give her a final deadline as to when to order the dress and then leave it alone. She is an adult and if she doesn't buy the dress in time then she has taken herself out of your wedding.

To me this is ridiculous...the one responsibility of a BM is to purchase the dress and with it being close to your wedding date you have every right to be upset with her. I would just talk to her one more time about the dress (doing it in person would be best that way she can't ignore you) and then not worry about it anymore...this isn't something that you should have to stress over.

RaptorSLH · December 2011

[QUOTE]Give her a final deadline as to when to order the dress and then leave it alone. She is an adult and if she doesn't buy the dress in time then she has taken herself out of your wedding. Posted by Maggie0829[/QUOTE]

<div>This. Have you talked to her about non-wedding stuff lately? Is there anything else going on in her life that might have her distracted? Other than that, you've done the best you can, and now it's up to her. Sorry this is such a pain for you.</div>

smartlypretty · December 2011

How long did it take for the other BM dresses to come in? I agree, 4 months is cutting it REALLY close!

owengirl996 · December 2011

You could be like my cousin, and just order it for her. Ugh, don't get me started! She was the maid of dishonor by the end of the wedding (or really, by the time the bachelorette party came around that she pawned off onto another BM and had the nerve to say it was short notice once the other BM sent out invites, and ended up not showing up!)

Anyway, sorry...I think I would go ahead and order it and hope she pays you back. My cousin ended up paying for all of her MOH's dress. She did have it altered by someone, and it looked TERRIBLE in the end. LIke, she put a random pleat in it on her chest...

Good luck! I am upset for you! lol So frustrating when she doesn't have a good reason to delay it!

Viczaesar · December 2011

What do you do? Nothing. If she doesn't have the dress on the day of your wedding, she's taken herself out of the wedding party. No need to stress until then.

em01092 · December 2011

First, did you ask her about budget concerns? Sometimes we assume people can afford one thing or another, so I just want to make sure you discussed costs with her. If you did not, she could be putting it off because she is secretly embarrassed that she does not have the money or doesn't want to tell you she can't afford it.

Have you mentioned the timeline issue to her yet? I would certainly emphasize the fact that she needs to order ASAP, or risk the dress not being in on time. It is the holiday season, which could be why she is busy, stressed, and/or spending her money on other things. That said, I agree she needs to either have a conversation with you about why it's not happening or get on with buying the dress.

mercy4 · December 2011

This is so stressful. I'm sorry you're going through it. It's like you don't want to tell people to spend money but they should just do it to make things run smoothly.

tldh · December 2011

Call the store and ask for the drop dead order date. Then give it to her. If she doesn't show up to your wedding wearing the dress, then she's removed herself as the MOH. I'm also curious though, as to whether you discussed a budget with your BMs and MOH or just said this was the dress they'd be wearing.

LittleMissCutiePie · December 2011

Ahhh...another age old question that always seems to get asked. All you do is say "Hey, MOH, just a head's up, the final day you can order the dress is X date." Easy peasy.

Grits8812 · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_moh-hasnt-bought-her-dress?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:38afa83c-c7f6-48d4-b58b-011178e2aec6Post:0bf6ea9e-e861-42fa-9694-aec4186fb18e">Re: My MOH hasn't bought her dress</a>:
[QUOTE]Give her a final deadline as to when to order the dress and then leave it alone. She is an adult and if she doesn't buy the dress in time then she has taken herself out of your wedding. To me this is ridiculous...the one responsibility of a BM is to purchase the dress and with it being close to your wedding date you have every right to be upset with her. I would just talk to her one more time about the dress (doing it in person would be best that way she can't ignore you) and then not worry about it anymore...this isn't something that you should have to stress over.
Posted by Maggie0829[/QUOTE]
This exactly. She is only required to buy the dress, and show up the day of. That isn't too much to ask since she agreed to be your MOH. If she doesn't order it by the deadline you give her, she is pulling herself out of the wedding.

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