Wedding Etiquette Forum

When is old too old?

One of my BMs has a daughter that's over the 'age limit' for being a flower girl. But I'm not sure that I'd like her to be a junior bridesmaid. Does anyone have any suggestions for what a twelve year old can do? I don't think I'm having a guest book (thinking of a photo instead) so I couldn't have her doing that... I want to include her in something, but WHAT?!?! Thanks all!

Re: When is old too old?

  • I'd say junior BM, reader, or she could hand out programs (if she's comfortable doing that).  Don't make her a guest book attendant...that's a sucky job.
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  • You could ask her if she might be interested in being a flower girl. She might want to and might not feel like she is too old. Wouldn't hurt to ask her how she feels about it.
  • Are your guests really so stupid that they'd actually need somebody to show them how to sign their names in a guest book?
  • I dunno... do you really need her to be doing a specific "job"? Attending a wedding as a guest is an honor in itself, and I'm generally not a big fan of creating extraneous posts for people just so they can be "included" in the wedding. I didn't go to my first wedding until I was 16, and if I'd been invited to one at twelve, I would have been very honored and excited just to be going.
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  • You know I had the same problem when I was trying to figure out what to do with 3 10 year old nieces.Then all of the sudden I thought wait a minute.  They only thing my 'older' bridesmaids are doing is wearing a pretty dress walking down an aisle carring some flowers, standing during our 15 minute ceremony and walking back down.  I'm fairly certain my nieces can handle that 'job'.So I just made them a BM (no junior title).It worked our prefectly and I do not regret it at all.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • I'd vote for BM (jr part optional)... She gets to wear a pretty dress, and stand up there with everyone else... When I was in middle school I would have loved that. My sister and I were BMs in my mother's wedding when I was 14 and my sister was 11, and it was a lot of fun. My daughter (14) is going to be my BM this October. We never used the "Jr. BM" title... we were just 'maids :)
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  • Are your guests really so stupid that they'd actually need somebody to show them how to sign their names in a guest book?At my parents wedding they had a friend who was in charge of flipping the guest book pages once they filled up. She wandered away to flirt with some guys. NO guest figured out that they could flip the page when the first was filled. The first page has signatures in the margins, going down the side etc. Then after the wedding people complained that they couldn't sign the guest book because it was full.I vote bm :)
  • katie that is one of the sadest wedding stores I've heard. Are people just that dumb?






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • I think they really are. Then again, this was 30 years old at what my dad calls "a good ole boy Wisconsin redneck wedding".Their photographer also "lost" all of their wedding photos. So the only ones they have were taken by friends and family, which...30 years ago..were not many.
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