No family on Bride's side

rhymingwhiston · April 2011

I very recently got engaged and the one MAJOR roadblock or hurdle I know I will encounter is explaining why my family won't be coming to the wedding. We had a major falling out in 2009, they kicked me out of the house. Nothing can repair it and I don't want to repair it, they brought me nothing but misery. My fiancée knows this, so does his family and my friends.
The problem is there are certain things that involve the bride's family, lighting the unity candle, walking down the aisle, reception announcements, father/daughter dance. What do I do with these situations?? What would I say to potential priests, Dj's, hall managers, his family, my friends, etc, etc?
I don't know anyone else who has been in this situation before, please help.

Avion22 · April 2011

You don't have to explain it at all. But a simple explanation like, "My family will not be attending the wedding" should be suffice if anyone asks about, say, a father-daughter dance.

Obviously you can cut all of these "traditions" from your wedding. If your family won't be there, the unity candle would be a little weird. But you can always have friends perform these tasks (like give you away, or whatever). Just remember, you don't know anyone an explanation other than "my family will not be attending." Beyond that, it's none of their business.

redheadfsu · April 2011

Do you have any close friends that can take the place of family (if you want)? You can walk down the aisle alone (it has been done before). You don't have to do a unity candle/sand ceremony (or just your FI & you can do it).

For answering questions. Just say, "We have decided not to do that." Then change the subject.

Equine Osmosis · April 2011

I'm in a similar situation with having had a falling out. My family may or may not be attending but that is the extent of it. I will be walking down the aisle alone and with no bridal party except for kids for the rings and flowers. Ladies on here gave me the idea of stopping halfway down the aisle and having FI walk up to meet me and then we both walk the rest of the way together. I'm considering doing that.

I'm skipping the father/daughter dance and mother/son just so it doesn't look so obvious that we did one but not the other. I know FI will make sure he dances with his mother at some point but I wanted to keep it as discreet as possible and not make it seem awkward if my father does decide to attend.

I'm not sure if we will do a unity candle or sand ceremony yet, but if we do we will have it all set up there first like the previous posters said.

Good luck with this and know that just because you're not doing some things according to other people's traditions doesn't make your day any less special! This day is about you and your love (and screw the rest! haha).

Wiscisbliss · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_family-brides-side?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:16770f7e-22f0-45a6-949a-dc38f8ce432dPost:9a061fb9-81a3-457d-9a61-76de1d7b9364">No family on Bride's side</a>:
[QUOTE]The problem is there are certain things that involve the bride's family, lighting the unity candle, walking down the aisle, reception announcements, father/daughter dance. What do I do with these situations??
Posted by rhymingwhiston[/QUOTE]

Aisle: Would your FI's Dad walk you down the aisle? You can walk down yourself, or have any friend walk with you.

Announcements:Skip parent intros all together. just anounce the WP.

Unity Candle: You can skip it. If you would like it to be done, then maybe your MOH/bestie would participate?

Father/Daughter Dance: Again, you can skip it, or have a dance with whoever you would like.

As far as explaining it, you don't have to. Just say "We chose to do X" or "My family will not be attending." Just keep it short and polite.

Audrey&Austin · April 2011

My family isn't coming and no one from my side is coming. We're getting married in just a few weeks and haven't really encountered any problems. As for your questions:

Walking down the aisle: I'm having FI step dad walk me down the aisle. If you aren't comfortable with someone from his family walking you down the aisle, a close friend could. Really, you can walk by yourself.

Unity Candle: Skip it or make it just you and your FI. We're opting for a hand fastening ceremony and that's just FI and me.

Reception Entrance: Announce only the wedding party if you're worried about people noticing that only FI's family was introduced.

Father Daughter Dance: Skip it or dance with someone else.

Questions People Ask: Politely tell them that your family will not be attending. If they press the issue, just tell them you would rather not discuss the issue and change the subject.

Summer2011Bride · April 2011

As for the aisle, I have seen brides either walk by themselves or walk halfway and have your FI walk with you the last half of the way. For F/D dance, you can skip it altogether or dance with a close friend or one of FI's relatives you are close with.

curlygurl525 · April 2011

I am in the same situation.
I will be walking down the aisle alone, with my FI meeting me halfway.
We are doing the love letter box instead of a unity candle.
I am dancing with FI's father while he dances with his mother and labeling it the family dance

As for talking to everyone... once they find out they won't be attending, it is unlikely they will ask more.

Hope this helps!

Thanks for all the ideas ladies

Oluwatosin82 · April 2011

I am so grateful to have found this post. I am in the same situation as you. There is a 90% chance none of my family will be at my wedding due to some fall one of my future husband's very close friend to walk me down the aisle.
We are excluding:
* the ceremony section which says who gives this bride away?
* No bridal party just because it is a small wedding with 80-100 guests. Just a MOH and Best man
*Skipping father-daughter dance
*Announcement will only be made for the newly wed
* Our invitation reads: Bride and Groom will live to request your presence at an intimate ceremony of our union. We excluded the family part in our invite.
* We are making the order of events at the reception to more couple and friends-centered rather than family. After all if my family dont think they should be there, I should celebrate my friends who thought me worthy to be there.

MrandMrsHoagland · May 2011

Exact same thing here..... The chances of any of my family besides my sister showing up are pretty low... and since I have moved form my childhood hometown and now moved again from where my wedding is to be held... I don't see any male mentors coming either.

Walking down the aisle- me myself and I!

unity candle- just me and FH

Mother/groom dance - yes just skipping father/daughter

Just leave it out and if anyone asks just say what all the PP have told you!

No family on Bride's side

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