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Wow...just wow

Button5807Button5807
2500 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
in Not Engaged Yet
So I was facebook stalking because I'm bored at work and that's what I do. Anyway, I came across the link a wedding page for a wedding that took place last fall. Everything was still intact though so I poked around and found this gem under the registry tag.We are not registering for the wedding. We ask that guests consider cash gifts or items off the baby registry (Babies'R'Us), considering that we are expecting our first child in a few months.Maybe I've spent too much time lurking P&E but I don't think I can find anything right with that sentence.
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"but you're SO FUNNY, button! you're so funny i kind of want to crawl into your skin and wear it as my own. " - NarwhalYou, my dear, are the Queen of the Beebees. Here's a tiara - Oceana 
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Re: Wow...just wow

  • jeanacorinajeanacorina
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Bun in the oven, eh?
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  • Button5807Button5807
    2500 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    They decided to get married when she lost her job and no longer had health insurance.
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    "but you're SO FUNNY, button! you're so funny i kind of want to crawl into your skin and wear it as my own. " - NarwhalYou, my dear, are the Queen of the Beebees. Here's a tiara - Oceana 
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  • RenoisPrettierThanYouRenoisPrettierThanYou
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I'm not understanding why you're not happy with it?
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  • MustangSally67MustangSally67
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Button, I understand why its inappropriate. Its along the same lines why some feel it is inappropriate to outright give registry info with the invitation. I think they're taking for granted the gift giving implied in a wedding, and its always inappropriate to outright ask for cash. But on the other hand, if this was only included online, it is a (sort of) practical way to go given the situation...
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  • noelle24noelle24
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I'm not understanding why you're not happy with itWow...really? I'm betting you're the type who will list their bank account info on the invite, just to make it that much tackier... oops, I mean easier!.... for your guests.1) You never list anything mentioning gifts on the invite itself.  No one HAS to bring a gift to your wedding, and it's rude to proclaim that you expect them on the invite.2) It is very tacky to request cash.  Just don't register for much, and your guests will get the hint.  If anyone asks where you're registered, your response should be "Oh, we're lucky enough to already have most of what we need.  Right now we're saving up for a house/sofa/vacation/what-have-you.
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  • MamaKinMamaKin member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    i agree that the OP is tacky for a variety of reasons.   that said, it's a generally accepted custom to give a gift to the couple getting married.  it's not OUTRAGEOUS to expect people to do this, or else why to couples even create a registry?   people that aren't obsessed with wedding etiquette (i.e. pretty much everyone outside this site) don't find registry info that offensive, it's actually kind of helpful.  what about it states you HAVE to buy something?  no one has to buy a gift, but here's the info for the folks that are interested.   by your logic, noelle, can i assume that you aren't registering at all since you would never ever expect gifts from your guests?  also, i heartily disagree with "don't register for much and people will get the hint" about cash.   you'll definitely just get a lot more crystal figurines and bowls and other crap you don't want. 
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  • noelle24noelle24
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In an ideal world, there wouldn't be registries.  But people expect them, so I'm fine with them... I guess.. and my FI really wants to register.  What I find tacky and unacceptable is people putting registry info IN the invite.  Put it on a website with all the other , put the url for the site on an insert.  The invite should ONLY be about inviting people to your wedding. That being said, I will NEVER ask someone for cash gifts. THAT is tacky no matter which way you try to slice it.  I went to a wedding where the bride and groom made a PAYPAL account.  Ugh.
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  • MamaKinMamaKin member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    no registries in an ideal world?  cool, then everybody gets stuff they have no use for and mismatched place settings.  brilliant!  correct me if i'm wrong (i'm not), but the original post said this statement was made on the website.  not on an invitation.  i agree asking for cash is tacky, but your registry rant seems misplaced.  and honestly, you just sound like kind of a snatch saying that to Reno for disagreeing with not even you, but the OP.best of luck begrudgingly getting your own registry together. 
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  • noelle24noelle24
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    you just sound like kind of a snatchHaha.  I haven't heard that insult around here in a while.First, I misread the OP and thought that this was on an invitation.  So my rant WAS out of place, but that doesn't make it incorrect. Registry info doesn't belong in an invite. Second, asking for cash is always tacky.  Anyone with some common sense can see that. Still true, even if you don't like the way I expressed my opinion. So the purpose of your comments towards me was.....?Hmm... let's see... if I get called a snatch because I was directing a comment towards someone NOT the OP.... does that make YOU a snatch for directing comments at me when I was talking to someone else entirely?
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  • dsouldivadsouldiva
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Personally I think in this day and age people should be able to say "IF you want to buy us a gift, then we would be really appreciative of money towards the honeymoon or money towards _x_" I just don't see how it's rude that you would rather someone gave you $50 towards something useful than spent $50 on towels/toaster/plates etc if you already have them.  It's no more gift grabby than signing up for a gift registry (which I don't see as gift grabby, I just don't see the difference). And I really don't see the point in cohabiting couples "upgrading" everything just because they're getting married and they can't list the gifts they actually want i.e. vouchers/cash etcPersonally as a wedding guest, I don't care what the money goes on as long as I know that the gift is appreciated.
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