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NWR: Vent/Share/Opinion Requested...

alfdallas21alfdallas21
1000 Comments
in African American Weddings
ok here's the deets...I was on several sites late last night and one of them was FB...in between me finding invitation info and favor box crap, I noticed a friend of mine had a gathering at her home w/two other couples & their fams (i.e. - she posted a recap w/pics)...so I'm like 'hmmm, I didn't get a call about a get2gether - strange'...now I wasn't upset or mad that my fam wasn't invited (there are 4 of us - me, DH, 2 sons; the gathering was held in their backyard which is HUGE) to this gather but I was/am oddly perturbed because this same friend of mine ALWAYS ask me to do ish with her or for her (decorating, go shopping, etc) but the other 2 ladies "don't have that touch that you do about stuff like this" - her words not mine...so here's my thing:1) I am sorta perturbed about not getting an invite2) I am sorta like 'whatever, you can't invite everyone to everything but dang, she didn't even give me the opportunity to say yay or nay!'my question to the board -- how would you feel?? how would you handle it?? the floor is now open...LOL!  ;)
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Re: NWR: Vent/Share/Opinion Requested...

  • braxtongirlbraxtongirl member
    Eighth Anniversary 100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I don't like that only call me when you want me to do something shiggety! I would have to say something or maybe the next time she would call me to do something, maybe say, I am busy but maybe they (the other tow friends can help you)
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  • mandikaykaymandikaykay
    Fourth Anniversary 500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    If I were in your shoes, I would feel slightly used.  Whycome you could call me anytime you need something, but yet, I'm not good enough to be invited to your shindig?  What's the deal?  But as you would say, keep it moving, shrug it off your shoulders. And just keep in mind that the next time she "needs" your help or special "touch", you will be too busy for it.  IMHO, why give of your time like a friend would when you aren't truly being treated as such?
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  • Lovie 129Lovie 129
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I would have to say it's not that serious to get upset over. Is it a deal breaker that she didn't invite you, but invited the other ladies???...will you still consider her a friend?Ask yourself is she really a friend or someone you do things with?? A friend is there through thickest and thinnest, not when it's convenient for them. Some people want alot of friends for status or to feel important...maybe you have a fair-weather friend.
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  • alfdallas21alfdallas21
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    you ladies have stated what I came up with and that is I will K.I.M. but I aint nobody's fool - girl bye!!...I don't have time for that ish at all and yes I do feel used but I am what people would consider "a true friend - if you ask me and I got the time, I'll do it"...but it's all good...now I know how to proceed going forward...thx ladies for your input!  ;)
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  • missevansmissevans member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    My initial reaction to this may be the very reason may be why my BMs are acting like they don't wanna be there in the first place, LoL.  I would have straight out asked "why weren't we invited?"  Then, I would listen to the reason. If it was possibly valid, I would shrug it off. If not, I would file it away...remembering to be less available when she needed my magic touch.  My discontent would probably show in every aspect though so I would get a little scarce in general.  I agree with the other ladies, it's time to withhold your expertise and give it to someone who will appreciate it and be a true friend all the time, not just when they need something.
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  • MrsW2000MrsW2000
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I would've felt some type of way about that too.  Especially if it's someone I consider to be a friend.  Hmm... I would probably ask her about it.  But that's just me.  I would need an explanation.
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  • HisWifey82HisWifey82
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I agree with previous posts. However, I would jokingly leave a comment saying, "Looks like you guys had fun...where was I at...LOL...jk". Not good but sometimes being passive aggressive works....or hell KIM girl!!!!!
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  • MrClintonsFirstLady09MrClintonsFirstLady09
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I am so late on this one but I had to give my two cents on the matter. I would be a little out of sorts because I would think that she and I are cool enough that I would at least been given consideration for an invite. That option was not even presented. And nine times out of ten she probably didn't think you would see the invitation or whatever until way way later. That would give her a chance to think up a good lie. I would not take it so personal (because honestly that's just the way it is sometimes), but I would inquire the next tme the opportunity presented itself. Don't go seeking it out though. See if she comes to you for something, then it's fair game after that. HTH
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  • pinkpanther_truckpinkpanther_truck member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I'd let it roll off my back... The way I see it, I can't (and probably won't) be invited to everything that everyone has going on... Heck, I know I don't always invite the same people for gatherings at the house or a night out on the town.That being said, if it's the same circle of friends that's ALWAYS together for EVERYTHING then I would've sent the same message that HisWifey suggested.
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  • brobin01brobin01
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    def agree with pp. I would be like WTH? I would also feel used. If you aren't that cloes to this young lady, i would ignore her next couple ofphone calls. Especially if she is calling to ask you for a favor!
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  • ddyoungddyoung member
    Fifth Anniversary 100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I'm like HisWifey...would jokingly say something on their photo album such as "this had better been when I was out of town!!" or something to show that it didn't go unnoticed...and after that you can STILL make your services less available to her lol
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  • BlkswnnBlkswnn
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I would be offended and I would feel used, but I would get over it.  I see it like this, if you are helping her out with stuff, you consider her to be a friend on some level.  I agree with Hiswifey and I would jokingly leave her a message to see what kinda of response I would get.
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  • Ladysun083Ladysun083
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Im with you, I would be feeling some kind of way also! but in that same breath, I would KIM, you will not see me stress... actually WC does that now and I just laugh about it.   But trust when ole girl calls you to go shoe shopping "um yeah sorry, im having family time" click.  KIM.
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  • alfdallas21alfdallas21
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    thx ladies for all of your responses...I like the saying HisWife suggested I post on this individual's FB photo page as being passively aggressive but at the same time I'm gonna K.I.M.  ;)ladysun - where is lil raven??? several of us have been wondering how she's doin...
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  • Ladysun083Ladysun083
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Girl, Idk, hell ive been wondering the same thing, i dont think i have her on FB i have to check, last time I asked Cat said she was ok that they have been chatting it up on FB
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