Are any OUUT guests staying with you?

loanbpham · September 2009

We currently live in a 2bR/ 2 full bath apt. It's about 970 sq feet, so it's not very big, but we've got the 2nd bath that is great for guests.Here is my concern. Since I am DIYing the centerpieces and all the floral arrangements....our apt will be kinda tight when the wedding is closer.Last week we flew to RI for his mom's wedding. Since my FI is not the greatest planner, he didn't know where we would be staying. I though we would stay with his mom because I THOUGHT they had room. Instead, we stayed with his best man and his gf. His gf was the one that never congratulated us when we got engage and prettended that it never happened. I felt very uncomfortable staying there because they have 1 bathroom, their place was gross....and they had 3 smelley ferrets....and just rubbed me the wrong way when she was bitter about our engagement. I was also getting ill because of the smell and lack of circulation in their home. We ended up getting a hotel for that last few nights. Anyhoo, we did get them a giftcard for Target as a way of saying Thank You.Ok, so now my FI wants to offer them our place when they come for our wedding. I am very uncomfortable around the gf because of her bitterness towards our engagement...and plus...she's a HUGE Debbie Downer (she kept complaining about life when we went out with her). I don't know what to do because I know that I will be so stressed that week and not sure if I want people that are not family to stay with us. I am not sure that I even want anyone to stay with us.

loanbpham · September 2009

Oops, I meant OOT guests.

StefandTodd · September 2009

Nope...it was hard for me not to offer our place, but I figured this ONE time in my life, I would be "selfish" and require people to make other arrangements. I also didn't pick anyone up at the airport. I had way too much going on. I think its totally reasonable to ask them to find other arrangements.

anhngo · September 2009

I agree with StefandTodd - You need to be selfish this one time for YOUR wedding. I would have felt so much more stressed out if I also had to be a host to OOT guests! Also - you stayed at FI's best man's house for FI's mom's wedding, not FI's best man's wedding. So it's not really the same "favor." It's a totally different story when it's your own wedding.

**Mutley** · September 2009

You staying at their place for someone else's wedding is far from the same as them staying at your place for your wedding. They were NOT hosting the wedding. You will be. Even putting your feelings towards her aside that is too much to ask. We have the same plan that Stef followed. No one is staying with us and we will not be picking anyone up from the airport. Then again, I doubt anyone would want to stay at out place. It won't even be unpacked.

loanbpham · September 2009

Thank you all for the great responses. Even though our wedding isn't until March, I was getting anxiety just thinking about them or just people staying at our place. I then started to feel bad that I am not being gracious for wanting people to stay. Well, unfortunately, I just found out after posting this, that FI suggested to that lovely couple last week that they can stay with us for the week...without consulting with me first. So, I will probably look like the bad guy when he has to tell them that no one will be staying with us.

**Mutley** · September 2009

Be the bad guy! In this case, I advocate a good lie. "Oh, I am sorry but I forgot that 'So and So family member' is already staying at our place. However, we cannot wait to hang out when you are in town. Here is the list of hotels where we have a room block in place." Then, come wedding week, surprise surprise but that family member is actually staying in a hotel.

nutmegmjk · September 2009

I wouldn't offer it. Those last couple days are going to be busy and stressful and I think playing hostess is only going to add to that. I agreed to let FI's brother stay with us the night before we moved and it was a horrible idea. I will never agree to overnight guests right before something big again.

Roni.Cedra · September 2009

We had just bought a house, and I allowed my sister and her husband to stay in the guest room (she bought sheets and everything... it is in essence her room) and then a friend stayed upstairs in our loft. It was frustrating relying on them to be ready in the morning, because I am a total control freak on time... and being late to things really makes me crazy. Other than one shower incident, and Brian running out of hot water, it worked out well. But we were so busy, it wasn't like we even saw them.

sarandjerburns · September 2009

I agree with PP, the last thing you need is worrying about hosting guests in your house. You will have so much going on that you don't need more added stress. So, be selfish, and DON'T feel bad about it!Also, like PP said, the favor is not the same as them letting you stay at their place, so no way to compare the two.

DNichole26 · September 2009

Speaking from experience, I agree with PPs! FI's dad, mom, sister and nephew will be staying with us next weekend. The wedding weekend isn't even here yet and I'm already feeling the effects/stress of having house guests. FI's dear mom means well but has become a pain in my a** in trying to coordinate other things, inviting other people into our home, etc. We had to be harsh last night and she's upset with us, but things were starting to get a bit out of control. Save yourself and don't! It will make things a bit easier on the both of you leading up to and that weekend of the wedding.

Are any OUUT guests staying with you?

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