Some calming words, please/vent (long)

Re: Some calming words, please/vent (long)

• kcliveoutloud

  

  September 2009 edited December 2011

  The best thing I can say is that it will all work itself out. It's good that you took yourself out of the dress drama. Let them figure it out. As for the bachelorette party, again just let them figure it out. Take yourself out of that as well. You shouldn't be stressing over their drama. Being the center of attention can be quite daunting. I haven't dwelled on it so much just trying to get everything done which it almost is. I'm trying to just enjoy the attention and take it in. You will be surrounded by the love of your family and friends and expressing your love for your FI. Maybe try to focus on that. How wonderful of a day it WILL be and how much love you have around you. That's what I have been doing. I also have made sure that our wedding party knows to try and keep our "getting ready" area clear of other guests. Nice and calm the day of. Good luck! It will all work out just wonderfully!

  Report0 Reply
• kcliveoutloud

  

  September 2009 edited December 2011

  And hey, you are exactly a month away! That's fantastic!!!

  Report0 Reply
• veevixxn member

  

  September 2009 edited December 2011

  I totally understand you. This last month, I would sometimes start having bouts of anxiety & panic out of nowhere. The pressure of being the center of attention was starting to get to me and I would either get irate or cry over little things that normally wouldn't bother me. Just breathe through it when you feel yourself getting panicky inside. Seriously - taking deep breaths helps me out a lot. There's so much planning that is involved with weddings. The little things add up and towards the end and it can get overwhelming. I dealt with it by doing NWR things. You're a month away, you have a lot done, try to do something fun for yourself. I went and got massages and told FI that the massages came out of the "mental health" portion of the wedding budget ;)I'm sorry about the BM & bach party issue. They're grown women, they will sort it out themselves. You'll be fine!

  Report0 Reply
• SMHubbard member

  

  September 2009 edited December 2011

  Oh no! Sorry to hear what you are going through. When I get really nervious I do deep breaths and for every negative thought I have I think of a positive one! It's amazing what thet positive thinking can do to turn your perspective around. It's good that you took yourselve out of the whole dress situation, you have to pick your battles! And as for the mising RSVPs, some people may have waited until today to send them out, so if you can give it a week, you should get more back. But could you delegate the phone calls for the missing ones to your mom and FMIL perhaps? You are so close! I'm sure everything will work itself out!

  Report0 Reply
• [Deleted User] member

  

  September 2009 edited December 2011

  The whole bm thing is out of your control, all you can do is tell them how much you wish they would get along.  This may sound a little harsh, but if the bachelorette party sounds like something that is causing too much stress for you and too much conflict altogether bm, then it may be doing you more harm than good.  None of these extra events are mandatory when you really think about it, sure they are nice to have, but if they cause stress, conflict more than joy then you have the option of forgoing it--go to a day spa and relax instead of trying to herd cats(not saying your bms are catty--I have quickly learned that getting a reply from my attendants is like herding cats--only I am a cat person so I would have better luck with them).If you have washed your hands of the whole bm dress thing, don't rehash it. If you are letting them choose what they want to wear, then they should be greatful for that kind of consideration. Let them deal with it. One my brother's groomsmen arrived at the very last minute for his ceremony; could not attend the RH or anything like that, but my brother was still greatful he was there.RSVPs, no matter what there is going to be someone who decides that he or she is coming and forgets to send the RSVPs.  Unfortunately that's when you have to pick up the phone and call.  Break them down by a manageable number and call x-amount of people each day; rinse repeat until you get them all crossed off.For what its worth, I have quickly started to learn that most of these checklists that we get as brides from magazines and including the knot's to-do list while helpful with regards to certain deadlines like RSVPs, Invites, Bookings, etc--they are also designed with the purpose incouraging you to spend more time and money on extra stuff that isn't at all necessarily condusive to your long-term happiness in your marriage or to the happiness of your wedding day.You don't have to do everything on any of these lists.  If you're stressed out, tired, and generally frazzeled because you had to deal with the stress of planning extra events around your wedding, you won't be able to really enjoy your wedding day the way you really deserve to.Take a step back.  Your wedding is not the sum of all of the events leading upto your wedding day--in the end it will be you and your fi coming together as a family.  The rest of your friends that have issues, the vendors that want their money, the self-proclaimed ettiquette experts can try to divert your attention from that--all of that is background noise is just fluff in the end.  10 years down the line you probably won't remember why your bms were freaking you out, 20 years down the line you will have more memories to celebrate of your life together than just memories of your wedding, 30 years, then 40, then 50+ if you're one those blessed couples that have lived long enough to spend that much time with their soulmate.I hope that helps.

  Report0 Reply
• nikojamm member

  

  September 2009 edited December 2011

  Thanks ladies.  I know everything will work out, it just gets to you sometimes.  Thanks for the encouragement!

  Report0 Reply
• 23sb member

  

  September 2009 edited December 2011

  Take a deep breath and know that we all go through it. Weddings can get crazy and stir up drama, but know in the end all that matters is you and your fiance. Try not to get all caught up with any negativity that others bring. We only get to be brides once (hopefully) so enjoy and make the most of it. Soon it will be all over =(

  Report0 Reply
• jagore08 member

  

  September 2009 edited December 2011

  Oh, sorry I'm a few days late on this one, but I know how to calm you down. Let's go get a drink! Call me or we'll have it on Friday

  Ignorance is a poor defense.

  Report0 Reply