An evening ceremony and cocktail reception-- what's your reaction?

barbiegirl25 · October 2010

What is your gut reaction to being invited to a 6:30pm ceremony and an 7:30pm reception where there is an open bar and tons of appetizers/finger food but no sit down meal? My FI is worried our guests will be offended and hungry but I think it sounds like romantic ceremony and like a fun party to follow-- it's more our style. Will our older guests or guests with kids be inconvenienced? What do we say on the invites to ensure no one comes expecting to be fed a 3 course meal?

waltzingmatilda13 · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_evening-ceremony-cocktail-reception-whats-reaction?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a3ffa7e5-558c-44b1-a434-b6494eac9a0aPost:cc02946b-f474-4d47-a316-3596d8366c18">An evening ceremony and cocktail reception-- what's your reaction?</a>:
[QUOTE]What is your gut reaction to being invited to a 6:30pm ceremony and an 7:30pm reception where there is an open bar and tons of appetizers/finger food but no sit down meal? My FI is worried our guests will be offended and hungry but I think it sounds like romantic ceremony and like a fun party to follow-- it's more our style. Will our older guests or guests with kids be inconvenienced? What do we say on the invites to ensure no one comes expecting to be fed a 3 course meal?
Posted by barbiegirl25[/QUOTE]

I would feel better about it if everything started a half hour later. Lots of people still eat dinner around 7-7:30 and would expect a meal.

Either way, write "Cocktail Reception to Follow" on your inivitations and people should get the idea.

ohwhynot · October 2010

I'd love it IF there were enough apps to = a good hearty meal. Otherwise, start at least an hour later.

barbiegirl25 · October 2010

My only concern with pushing back the time to 7 (which I feel better about as well) is we get kicked out of our reception venue at 10:30... is a 2.5 hour reception enough?

waltzingmatilda13 · October 2010

It should be enough time if you think about all that time you'll save from going through a buffet or serving a plated dinner.

FutureMrsTR · October 2010

It depends. Will there be a DJ and dancing? Or more just everyone chatting with each other? If it's the latter, I think 2.5 hours is fine. My company switched our Christmas Party to a cocktail thing this past year and after an hour of standing and milling around in heels I was ready to go.

danieliza1127 · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_evening-ceremony-cocktail-reception-whats-reaction?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a3ffa7e5-558c-44b1-a434-b6494eac9a0aPost:cc02946b-f474-4d47-a316-3596d8366c18">An evening ceremony and cocktail reception-- what's your reaction?</a>:
[QUOTE]What is your gut reaction to being invited to a 6:30pm ceremony and an 7:30pm reception where there is an open bar and tons of appetizers/finger food but no sit down meal?
Posted by barbiegirl25[/QUOTE]

That's what we did and I thought it worked out great. We had about 15 pieces per person, so it was enough to constitute dinner. We also had cheesecake and another round of food come out at 10pm.

Our ceremony was at 6pm, cocktail hour with open bar and appetizers 6:30-7:30, reception 7:30-midnight with heavy hors d'oeuvres. We had cream cheese stuffed cherry tomatoes, fruit display, cheese/cracker display at the cocktail hour. At the reception we had what was left over from the cocktail hour, plus bruschetta, sour cream stuffed new potatoes, sausage stuffed mushrooms, bacon wrapped scallops, chicken kabobs, beef kabobs, meatballs, and something else I think I'm forgetting. At 10pm we had more bacon wrapped scallops, and tri-color antipasta skewers that had tortellini and italian meats and cheeses.

Everyone raved about our food, and most of our guests stayed all night.

danieliza1127 · October 2010

Oh and we didn't put "Cocktail Reception" or anything on our invitations but we did mention that it was an hors d'oeuvres reception on the wedding website.

WildRumpus · October 2010

Dani, that sounds amazing

FutureMrsTR · October 2010

Holy shiit, those don't even sound like appetizers or hors d'oeuerves to me Dani, those are things I would actually eat for dinner.

Yeah, OP, if you're going to have enough food to make a full meal for anyone get down with your bad self. Just don't serve cheese and crackers at meal time

barbiegirl25 · October 2010

Dani, that is exactly what I'm envisioning! I'm so glad it worked out for you. And yes, FutureMrs I plan to have a lot of music and dancing. I also thought about renting out or at least recommending a bar nearby after we get the boot at 10:30 to allow the more party-hardy guests to keep it going.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · October 2010

My husband's cousin had a wedding much like Dani had. It was a 6pm ceremony, a cocktail hour with fruit, veggies and cheese, then a heavy app "dinner" - a cheese display, fried ravioli, meatballs, a slider bar, spring rolls, a dessert bar, and lots of other stuff. It was fine. I'm a vegetarian and I totally had enough to eat. We left around 11, but I think they went until midnight. They had a DJ, dancing, special dances, bouquet toss, etc.

Celles · October 2010

I think cocktail receptions with heavy hors d'oeuerves are fine.

But if your FI isn't comfortable with the idea, I'm not sure how you can claim that it's more "your style" than a sit down dinner. I'd encourage you to make sure he's really on board with it before moving forward.

barbiegirl25 · October 2010

Thanks for the great advice errbody.

squirrly · October 2010

Lots of food like Dani's = awesome.

Not enough food = I'm leaving early to catch a late dinner.

noodle_oo · October 2010

Gut feeling: I think I'd be hungry, tired of standing around, and kind of feel like it wasn't a complete event. We'd be starving since we get home pretty late, we tend to eat dinner around 8 PM. Since 6:30 is often dinnertime, unless you start later, I'd be expecting a sit down dinner.

The only other concern to me is seating. Will you have places for people to sit? Because I think standing for that long can be tough, especially in heels and if you also have dancing. If you aren't having seating, I think I'd not make the reception longer than 2.5 hrs because I"d just be tired and leave by then anyway.

Disclaimer: never been to this type of wedding, so I guess it could be fun. But I've been to holiday parties like this and I much prefer a full meal.

orangejulius · October 2010

When I'm invited to weddings that have a cake/punch, dessert, cocktail, etc. reception, I really prefer it to be in the afternoon. I think if it's done late enough (ie you give your guests enough time to get dinner before the ceremony) then it is OK, but I think that area is gray. We went to a wedding in which the ceremony was at 7:00pm with a dessert reception to follow immediately. Both FI and I had to work that day, got home with enough time to shower and then had to hit the road. We ended up going out to eat after their dessert reception because we just couldn't fit a meal in there before. I know our circumstance isn't common for everyone (working Saturdays here and there), but I just feel like a lot of people are rushing to do a lot (dressing up, getting gift together) before leaving for a wedding, and don't always have time to eat. If you decide to do it, just make sure there are "tons" of appetizers as you stated and you should be good.

tenofcups4me · October 2010

I've never been to a wedding like this, though I was told I was going to one a few years ago (turned out to have lots of apps and then a fairly standard buffet even though they called it stations and said it was going to be heavy apps).

I have been to a lot of business functions like this and love them. But they've clearly had tons of money to work with and the heavy apps were things like baby lamb chops, bowls of fresh shrimp, sushi platters, etc. so definitely enough for a dinner. If that's what you're thinking, I'd love it! Even if the choices aren't quite that upscale, it could still be great as long as there really is enough of a selection and they keep coming. In my area, even a cocktail hour before a plated meal tends to have more than enough to make a meal of so I would expect even more if there was no actual meal.

Kristin789 · October 2010

Wedding Reception Etiquette: Timing a Dessert Wedding Reception?

Q.

I want an evening wedding, but I don't want to serve dinner. What would be an appropriate time to schedule the wedding if I just served cake, nuts, mints, etc.?

A.

A dessert wedding reception usually begins at 9 or 10 p.m., well after the typical dinner hours, so you'll want to schedule the ceremony for no earlier than 8 p.m. Just be sure to let guests know on the wedding invitation that dinner won't be served! Something like "Please join us after the ceremony for dessert" will do just fine -- that way they'll know to get in a square meal beforehand.

mysticl · October 2010

I'm 35 and would be inconvienced by this, never mind the older guests or kids. Your wedding/reception is right in the middle of my dinner time. If you have enough apps to constitute a meal then it should be fine. But no matter what you serve and what time it is make sure there is a place for everyone to sit.

lyndausvi · October 2010

You need to have enough food to be considered dinner (say 12-15 pieces per person), but other than that it should be fine.

I would sugguest at least one app that sound dinner-ish. For example a roast beef carving station with mini-rolls. People are weird when it comes to food. To some people cheese and crackers is a snack and roast beef on a mini-roll is a meal even though both could be just as filling.

Lisa50 · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_evening-ceremony-cocktail-reception-whats-reaction?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:a3ffa7e5-558c-44b1-a434-b6494eac9a0aPost:3224269c-730b-4459-9183-e305b63628b9">Re: An evening ceremony and cocktail reception-- what's your reaction?</a>:
[QUOTE]My only concern with pushing back the time to 7 (which I feel better about as well) is we get kicked out of our reception venue at 10:30... is a 2.5 hour reception enough?
Posted by barbiegirl25[/QUOTE]

Yes. A 2.5 hour reception is long enough. Enjoy!

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