Assigned Tables=Bridezilla....?

tigger9922 · September 2009

Good news, I got married yesterday!Bad news, apparently some of my cousins (who didn't bring the people they RSVP'd for) decided they didn't want to sit at the table that was designated for them.... When I was informed of this by my FSIL (reluctantly), I asked my MOH to please go explain to them that there was a reason and a purpose to the assigned seating. The problem was with one of the parents' tables so it was pretty important that they cooperate. They were rude and obnoxious to 3 of my bridesmaids, so I was upset the entire time my dress was being bustled. I went up to find out what the problem was and was greeted with hostility myself....this caused my cousin to cuss me out in front of guests and call my wedding party liars, and storm out. Followed by my aunt crying and leaving and my MOTHER following her. Um, really mom? You would leave your own daughters reception over a bridesmaid supposedly being rude to your niece? My mother wasn't even around for any of the incidents. I'm so confused by it and still very hurt. I spent the first hour of my reception in the bathroom bawling and trying to find my mom. The rest of it trying to force myself to enjoy what was left and try to be sociable even though I was devastated by my mother's absence. She never even said she was leaving....just walked out. How am I supposed to get past the fact that she missed such an important event and made me miss out on moments I can never get back? She's my mom and I love her, but right now, I can't see past the anger and how this will ever be right. Thanks to anyone who made it through this....sorry it was so long. I just had to get it out.

ExpatPumpkin · September 2009

Wow! That's horrible! I'm so sorry that happened to you, and I can see where it will be really hard to move forward with your mom. What was the real issue, though? All of that can't possibly be about seating arrangements... Congrats for being married

LesPaul · September 2009

I guess your first mistake was assuming these 'adult' cousins could understand the concept of assigned seating. Your second mistake was bawling in the bathroom for an entire hour (!). Yes, your mother behaved badly. But it should not have ruined your entire reception.

kaesha · September 2009

Whoa - how does the assigned seating relate to the bridal party being called liars?

tigger9922 · September 2009

You're right LesPaul, but I couldn't help it. I tried to come out and sit down several times, but it was all so overwhelming, I just couldn't stop crying. I couldn't believe she left....I didn't care about the cousins, or the aunt really. The drama was more over the bridesmaids who tried to get them to move. They were trying to say that FSIL belittled them and was very rude....now I'm not saying I know because I wasn't there. But if 3 of the people who are the closest to me are saying consistant things about what happened and cousin's whole demeaner, than I'm inclined to believe BM's. I'm sure everyone could've handled it better (including me), but honestly, I didn't go up there cussing. My 1 male cousin was very hostile and even called my MOH a "mouth beast" WTF does that even mean? You have a college education and the best insult you could come up with was that?! Then when I was trying to get to the bottom of the problem, female cousin starts interrupting me and then just stood up, told me "if you belive those liars over your own family, you're fuuckin out of your mind" and stormed out. They acted like children...all of them. If they were having an issue with a person, then get away from them....maybe by sitting where you were supposed to in the first place...but for my mom to leave based on what her sister and niece were telling her....that is what is bothering me the most.

tigger9922 · September 2009

Bridesmaid 1 (FSIL) tried to explain to them that her kids needed to sit at that particular table with FMIL & FFIL so they could help them eat. Both her and her husband were in our wedding party so they were sitting at the bridal table. Co MOH's went to investigate and ask them per the bride if they would please sit where they were asked to so that there was no confusion. Bottom line, they wanted to sit where they wanted to sit and didn't want anyone telling them to move, including me. I'm sorry, but if you're not here for me as a guest....then WTF did you even bother coming?

veronabrit · September 2009

jeez...so sorry this happend

julezlee · September 2009

That's awful. I'm so sorry. I'm sure I would've been in the bathroom crying too if that happened to me. I have a terrible relationship w/my mother b/c she's done crazy things like this so I have no advice for how to get passed it. Congrats!

janedoe1113a · September 2009

Wow...I'm sorry that happened.Congrats on getting married though!

tigger9922 · September 2009

Yeah, the marriage part is amazing. Those 15 minutes were the best part of the whole night and I couldn't asked for a more perfect ceremony. My friends and other family rallied around me to pick me up. They are amazing. My mom and I have a fairly good relationship so that's why this came as such a shock and an unnecessary thing. Thank you so much for the congrats. It makes me feel better.

kaesha · September 2009

Aw, that sucks. Family drama can be so painful. =(

ExpatPumpkin · September 2009

Have you heard anything from your mom since last night? Has she tried to contact you? Or had someone contact you on her behalf?

janedoe1113a · September 2009

Yea, I was just about to come and ask if you've heard from your mom.

tigger9922 · September 2009

She called and left me a voicemail to call her. Then called again and said she needed to stop by and drop off some keys to the condo we are staying at for our honeymoon (aunt who left upset owns a condo in FL and offered to let us use it for the week). I told her she was welcome to stop by but that I didn't want to discuss anything. I knew I would get all upset again and I just wanted to relax and enjoy my first day as Mrs. Terrell and spend time with my dad who is going back to WI tomorrow. She came, we cleaned my kitchen and made a late breakfast. I was nice, but not overly enthused with her, and I think she could tell that I was still hurt. She got very quiet when we were all talking about different aspects of the reception that we was absent for....not on purpose, but just in conversation at the table. She missed a lot and that in itself is a consequence she will have to live with. I'm struggling to figure out how to get over this. I don't want to be angry or hurt and I'm not a grudgeful person in general. I don't see how I will ever be able to speak to the cousin who cussed me, or repair the relationship with my mother.

tlv204 · September 2009

I'm sorry that happened too

I'm glad everything before that went well though! And congrats

ootmother2 · September 2009

I'm very sorry this happened to you and I can't even imagine a mother walking out on her daughter's wedding reception for anything!Enjoy your HM!

ExpatPumpkin · September 2009

I am VERY impressed that you were able to have a civilized breakfast with her this morning. I don't think I could have held it all in...

banana468 · September 2009

So the aunt who is letting youvstay at her condo is also the parent of the cousins who cussed you out? Is that aunt mom's sister? Are they close or is Mom easily pushed around? If I were you, I'd go on your honeymoon and relax. Then, when you're back, call your mom and meet her face to face where you can tell her how you feel as a result of her leaving. How you want to handle the cousins is up to you. A flaming bag of dig feces comes to mind.