Wedding Etiquette Forum

have a little problem..help

my fiance and i were putting together our guest list..which is about 150 people, and we are getting married at brenton point in newport in june...which means kind of crowded and lack of parking...so we pretty much have to limit who we can invite to the actual ceremony and who we can invite to the reception...my question is it ok to invite some people to the wedding and the reception and just invite some to the reception...if so..how do we go about doing so without hurting anyone's feelings?

Re: have a little problem..help

  • lurk dude.
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • Is that all one sentence?
    image
    Planning bio My DIY blog The Maine Bio

    2012 Reading Challenge

    2012 Reading Challenge
    Jaime has read 18 books toward her goal of 50 books.
    hide
  • You need to find a place to get married that will accommodate your guest list. How would you feel if you were invited to a reception, but not to the ceremony? I'd personally feel like you just wanted a gift from me. There's no way to do that without hurting feelings.
  • There's really no nice way to do this unless you're planning on an immediate family only ceremony - i.e. no wedding party, etc. You're opening yourself up for hurt feelings and a logistical nightmare. Can you hire valet service if the parking situation is that bad? Or choose venues that will comfortably accomodate all of your guests...
  • No this is absolutely not ok. It is very rude to invite people to one part of your day and not the other. You need to plan the wedding to accommodate your guest list OR pair down the guest list entirely.Have your guests park at the reception site and shuttle them to the ceremony in buses or vans.
  • My grandmother asked me, "Well, how attached are you to having everyone and their mother at the ceremony?" when she was giving us needless advice on where to hold a ceremony. Maybe I just like fooling myself, but in my mind, people are coming to my wedding to, you know, see me get married. The party is a bonus. Sure, there are people who will come because there's a party afterward but... like I said, I'd like to think those people I invite come to witness the start of our marriage.Also, it's just plain rude to invite people to just one portion. It smacks of "important people" vs "somewhat less important people." We want you to be here and come to our party! But you're not good enough to witness the actual ceremony, the whole point of the day!
    On bed rest since Groundhog's Day and every day since has been exactly the same.
    BabyFruit Ticker
    Blog
  • I wonder if this is the same person posting under a different name every time.  I feel like we have seen this post a lot lately.Long story short, would you like to be invited to only one party when others were getting invited to 2?  I wouldn't.
    imageBaby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Jane--can Tom Hanks help me pay my bills?
    imageBaby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Not okay.Also, I went to a wedding reception on Newport on a Saturday last July.  Parking and traffic were HELL because of all the tourists.  "Crowded and lack of parking" are seriously understatements of the year.  More like, I found a parking spot and sat in my car for most of the gap because it took me an hour to go fourfuckingblocks. 
    image
    two years!
    after two losses, now happily expecting baby #1 09.16.12
    Pregnancy Ticker
    Brie Fit Blog | BFP Chart
  • You either need to chop the guest list to accomodate the guest limit at the venue, or get a new venue to accomodate your guest list.  You can't invite some to the ceremony and not the reception.
  • also, are you talking about Newport, RI? I was just there looking at wedding venues with a friend today. That is just weird coincidence. Not that that has anything to do with your post.
  • If your issue is parking, can you transport people from somewhere else?You need to invite the same people to the ceremony to the reception, and vice versa.  Unless you're doing a DW or no-frills JOP thing with no guests, you shouldn't do a reception separate from the ceremony.  If you do, expect a much lower attendance rate than you might otherwise have thought you'd have.
  • There are three parking lots at Brentons Point. You have to apply to the City of Newport to use it for an event but I think that's just about $50.  You could also ask to have one lot blocked off for the wedding guests, I'm sure.  They are pretty good about accomodating such requests.Brenton Point in early June could be beautiful & sunny or totally fogged in so you are going to need tenting and good quality tenting at that.  It can get very windy on the point and cheapo tenting will come down.Try Newport Tent Company or Taylor Rental Center. They are local and will be less expensive than the others.
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards