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My sister dropped out of the wedding - it's in less than 2 weeks!

billyjobillyjo
First Comment
in Wedding Party
I have 3 sisters - the oldest is my MOH and the 2 younger ones are my bridesmaids. One of my sisters decided to not be in my wedding and also not attend at all and she won't give me a good reason for it. I think it's because she is selfish and if she can't be the center of attention in a positive way, she will get the attention in a negative way. I can replace her but the tension she is creating in the family is hard on me not to mention how I'm going to be able to get someone else to do it and get them fitted in a dress in such a short notice. I paid for everything by the way so cost isn't the issue. My wedding is less than 2 weeks away and I am so sad. I've asked her twice to make sure and I will ask again because I think she will regret it - this is the first wedding in my immediate family.
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Re: My sister dropped out of the wedding - it's in less than 2 weeks!

  • ffmaidffmaid
    1000 Comments
    First it is too late to replace her with someone else without it being an insult to the fill in friend. Second you do not need even sides one lucky Bm can exit with two GM or one GM can walk alone third- Yes it is a horrible shame your sister has dropped out but it will be fine. Be gracious about this and things will work out for the best. good luck and I'm sorry
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  • mbcdefgmbcdefg member
    10000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    Sorry to hear that she dropped out. That stinks.First off, do NOT replace her. It's insulting to both your sister (because it'll seem to her that you want a warm body up there more than HER as an individual), the rest of the bridesmaids (because it shows that they're replaceable), and the person you ask to be the replacement (because it shows that they weren't good enough the first time around, but they'll do now that you need that warm body). If you think it's because your sister wants attention, then don't feed into it. Don't beg her, but let her know she'll be missed. I would let it go for a couple days. Then try one more time: "Sis, I really wish you would reconsider. I truly want you there with me and I'd be sad if you weren't in my wedding and especially if you didn't attend at all. In the end, do what you have to do, but I really hope you'll be there with me." After that, leave the ball in her court. And if she's going to decline for a dumb reason, then shame on her. As far as the MOH "duties," have one of your sisters stand next to you during the ceremony and hold your ring and bouquet and all that stuff. Let the other sign the license as your witness and maybe give a toast at the reception. Easy peasy.
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  • billyjobillyjo
    First Comment
    Thanks - I hope it isn't an insult to whowever is ask fill in - I don't even know if I can get a dress that quick.  I thought I was doing the right thing by asking my sisters.  They all live close and we get along fine.  Problem is my sister that dropped out likes to get drunk once in awhile and get mean.  I know, I should've seen her coming but I wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt. 
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  • ffmaidffmaid
    1000 Comments
    Think about it from the fill in position the message is: I did not love you enough to ask you to be a bm but now that my sister is being a brat you can take her place so that I can have symetry which I love more then your feelings" Seriously do not ask a fill in it is an insult and although the woman will likely do it out of love for you it is not a honor to be a fill in.
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  • banana468banana468 member
    Knottie Warrior 25000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Please DO NOT replace your sister.  It's an insult to the replacement to do that.  Uneven sides are fine.I'm very sorry about your sister.  How old is she?  Do your parents have anything to say about that?  I can't think of any set that would find it remotely acceptable for one child to not attend the wedding of another unless the two siblings weren't talking LONG before the engagement. 
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  • billyjobillyjo
    First Comment
    She is 32 and both of my parents are pissed.  You all are right, I'm not going to replace her.  I'll just have uneven sides if she doesn't get over herself soon.  Thank you!
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