Wedding Etiquette Forum

F/U: Crazy musician

So I posted a few days ago about my ceremony musician being a total dingleberry.I found an excellent replacement.  A string quartet.  Yay.  Then I told FI about the whole situation and he said to absolutely fire the jackasss.  After reviewing his contract we will be out $225 but everyone (FI and my parents), says he still needs to go and that he doesn't have the right to speak to me the way he did. The string quartet is onboard but we haven't signed a contract yet (it will take a few days to get to me since I'm planning OOT). Question: Do I wait until I have official confirmation from the quartet before I fire jackasss or should I just do it now because FI says there is no way he wants him involved with our wedding anymore.BONUS: write the dear john letter for me?

Re: F/U: Crazy musician

  • When I fired my photographer, I had verbal confirmation and then fired.  Then I hired the new one.  I felt more secure that way.
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  • Where can I read about your sucktastic musician?
  • I don't know how to link the post, sorry.....but I posted it Monday, titled "and I'm going to lose it..."
  • Sweet, good job.  I called my mom to see if she knew of anyone and got voicemail, but then FI's grandmother died unexpectedly, so I spaced on calling mom back.  Glad things are worked out though!
  • Good for you, and great news on the replacement.I would call him and say something along the lines of, "After our most recent interaction, FI sat down and talked, and we've decided to go with someone else for our event."You don't really have to say more than that. I mean, he gets to keep the deposit, so whatever.If he pushes, just tell him that you found his behavior to be unprofessional, and that you've chosen someone who is more on board with what you what for your wedding day, and that it makes you more comfortable.
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  • I'd probably wait until officially confirming with the new musicians until firing the old one, just in case. OK, here's the letter. Dear Mr. Dingleberry, You're fired because you suck monkey balls. Sincerely,Travis&Cari
  • Dear Mr. Dingleberry, You're fired because you suck monkey balls. Sincerely,Travis&CariI would like to second this letter.  I think it gets your point across very well.  Although I would add "big, sweaty" prior to the monkey balls portion.
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  • Thanks, Mocha.Sorry about your FI's grandma. :(The funny thing is that the crazy guy was all angry about the suggestion of playing pre-recorded music and the string quartet is cool with whatever we want, but we will probably have them play the song.  If he would have not responded to me in such a dicckhole way I wouldn't have to fire his asss.  This is making me totally anxious and I just want to get it over with.
  • TJ's is probably the most polite way, but cocoreo's is awfully amusing.
  • This is an exact quote from his last e-mailI want to be straight with you and proclaim that it's extremely demeaning and disrespectful to professional musicians when they are replaced by a recording at a union of two human beings.  If a ceremony exists for linking a mac and a pc, perhaps live musicians would be inappropriate there, but your rabbi and cantor will be there in the flesh, and not via a teleconference hook up.I'm thinking about making some of my own proclamations in my e-mail.  I was having 2nd thoughts this morning thinking maybe I was being too harsh, but reading this got me all riled up again.
  • WTF??  He sounds like the world's biggest jackass EVAR.  He's lucky you didn't straight up kick him in the junk.
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  • To paraphrase from your statements in our previous correspondence, I want to be straight with you and proclaim that it's extremely demeaning and disrespectful to adult human beings when they are treated the way you, a supposed 'businessman', treated me, your former patron. And that's for starters.*Insert monkey balls" statement here.*
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  • yes, yes, must incorporate monkey balls at least once.  I would also like to throw out douche bag or bag of douche somewhere in there.   I think I will close the letter with, "BOOM! Roasted!"
  • "Bag of douche" is completely appropriate for this type of correspondence.
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  • I'd send an letter telling him why he's fired, include the email. Request your money back, and let him know you will be reviewing him on your local board and Craigslist if you doesn't return the extra money. I expect you'll see it back. He's a douche and contractually, if the deposit was $50, he owes you the extra money. Going to court is a pain and that is he's counting on, however, word of mouth is huge and that would hurt him.
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