Sleeping habits

swans alive · September 2009

Are you and your FI/DH in sync when it comes to sleeping? FI and I are not. I am a notorious insomniac -- I tend to be an anxious person, and it is impossible for me to fall asleep quickly. He can fall asleep anywhere if you give him five minutes and a flat surface. It's caused some problems for us since we've lived together -- he can't understand my inability to fall asleep, and at 3am, in the throes of crazy insomnia, I get mad at him for sleeping when I can't. I know it's insane of me. He likes to snuggle me when he's falling asleep, which is sweet of him, but I'm not a sleep snuggler. In addition to the insomnia, I have a permanent shoulder injury as a result of a car crash seven years ago, and staying in one position too long is horribly uncomfortable to me. He knows this, and is great about it, but I know my sleep problems frustrate/worry him, especially since we're so close to the wedding now and I'm stressed anyway. If you and/or FI have trouble sleeping, is there anything you would recommend to take or do to help me sleep? I don't like drugging myself if not necessary, but with less than a month to go before the wedding, I need sleep!

charlsie26 · September 2009

My fi snores...I invested in a very good pair of ear plugs. Try a body pillow. I love mine and can't sleep without one now. Quit drinking caffene (spelling?) at 3:00 pm Exercise those things have helped me

Ciaram22 · September 2009

We are completely out of sync when it comes to sleeping. He goes to bed at about 830 or 9 and I don't go to bed until around midnight or even 1. But then again he works at 4am and I don't normally have to be at work until 10 or later. Its frustrating sometimes because I want to cuddle with him and he just shrugs me off because he is so tired.

nda_roxybabe · September 2009

We're not in sync at all. T has horrible insomnia / sleeping problems. Typically, I go to bed at 11 ish and he will come to bed various times during the night for varied periods. Typically he comes to bed for good around 3 or 4 am if he is having a decent night.When he is really busy and can get stuff straightened out he will come to bed with me and stay asleep but sadly this doesnt often happen.

ggmae · September 2009

I am a notorious insomniac -- I tend to be an anxious person, and it is impossible for me to fall asleep quickly. He can fall asleep anywhere if you give him five minutes and a flat surface. This is DH and I to a T. He is lucky enough to be able to fall asleep anywhere (he claims that being in the Army did that to him) while I am always stressed/worried and just toss and turn for at least an hour. I don't have any helpful advice for you, but I hope others here do!

LesPaul · September 2009

The only problem is DH's inability to stay asleep. Falls asleep fine, but wakes up at 1 or 2 and can't go back to sleep. And I sleep like I'm dead, so it doesn't usually bother me, other than not being able to help him. (I'm like your FI, Swan - I can fall asleep anytime, anywhere). Poor guy is almost always sleep deprived. But we can sometimes nap on the weekend, and that's nice.

swans alive · September 2009

I don't drink much caffeine at all (I hate coffee and my only source of caffeine is iced tea), and I don't drink any of it past lunchtime. When we moved into our new place, I banned the TV from our bedroom, and that's helped a lot. We have a laptop with wireless internet that FI charges in our room nightly, but we try not to look on the internet from our bed at night. FI just has problems understanding that I cannot turn my brain off at night, and especially with the wedding coming so close, I am mentally juggling at least 10 things at once. He really can fall asleep anywhere and everywhere, regardless of anything internal or external.

Nebb · September 2009

Pretty much yes, we both go to bed at the same time. If he isnt tired yet he will stay up and read in bed while I go to sleep. I used to have trouble sleeping but after I started working out I fall asleep easily now, so we both nod off pretty quickly now.

mocha beans · September 2009

We usually sleep pretty well together now, it used to be pretty rough before in a full size bed. Getting a king sized bed has helped immensely. I get uncomfortable if I'm stuck in the same position all night, and moving around wakes him up. He can tend to snore a bit, but I can usually sleep through that for the most part.As far as how to help you sleep, I'm not much help because I'm like your FI; when I'm tired enough I conk out pretty easily and insomia hasn't really ever been my problem. Staying asleep can be a pain sometimes though, I tend to wake up easily from noises like kitty playtime and thunderstorms.

nda_roxybabe · September 2009

Yes, sometimes I have a hard time understanding why T can't just sleep like a normal person but its finally clicking with me that he just doesn't work that way...Although when he spends all day sleeping (today) then is up all night..I have a difficult time being understanding.

Travis&Cari · September 2009

This used to be a big problem for us. I'm like you. If it weren't for FI I wouldn't go to sleep until 3 or 4 in the morning. A few things have helped us. First, we go to sleep together and we wake up together. Our schedules are not the same, but when I get up as early as he does I find that I'm tired enough to fall asleep with him. Another thing we did was sometimes we would get ready for bed and lay down about 1/2 hour before we were really planning on sleeping. We would talk about our days, or whatever was stressing us out, or just cuddle. That totally helped me unwind and get everything out so that I could just turn off my brain. It's funny, but there will be times when I can't sleep and I just have him tell me a story, or we make up a story together, and I'm out in like 5 minutes....for some reason his voice puts me to sleep. ha ha.For a while I also used one of those silly eye masks. That really helped my mind to stop racing and just forced me to sleep.Good luck! I know it's hard.

swans alive · September 2009

The one thing about FI is that he's a terrible sleep talker/walker. Last year, we both got laid off from our jobs on the same day (we worked for the same company). We got hired, together, at a new company -- he started work a week before I did, so he started going to bed earlier than me. I walked into our room a few hours after he'd gone to bed, and our beautiful curtains/curtain rod were off the wall and puddled on the floor. I said "What the *bleep* happened here?!" He told me we'd talk about it in the morning. Come to find out, he had a dream where a brick wall was trying to eat him, so he walked out of the bed, grasped onto the "brick wall" (the curtains) and tried to hold it back from eating him, in the process pulling down the curtains. He said he woke up with the curtain rod half on his head. I might have insomnia, but at least I don't destroy my house in the process.

vgmartinez · September 2009

FI goes to bed around 7:30 since he works at 4 a.m. I'm usually on the computer and watching tv until about 11 p.m., maybe later if something good is on. A couple of weeks ago, I went to lay down and tossed and turned all night. I literally didn't fall asleep until about 6 a.m. and I'm pretty sure it was because I was watching tv all night. When I closed my eyes I could see weird flashes of light and I couldn't make it stop. Try reading in a dimly lit room, I usually fall right asleep if I'm reading or doing homework instead of watching tv before bed.

katiewhompus · September 2009

It normally takes me a good hour to get to sleep, dh can fall asleep in seconds. We also work different schedules (although they are more normal now) so we have different sleep patterns. Dh normally gets home from work around 9ish and then stays up until midnight relaxing. I get to wake up at 6am though.I've found getting off of the computer and reading in bed for an hour before I want to sleep has helped a lot. Just being in the nice comfy bed is great. Then when dh comes to bed an hour or so later I'm half asleep already and ready for cuddling.We also have amazing black leather curtains which are a blessing. Dh got them when he worked overnight shifts and slept during the day. No light gets through them so our room is pitch black at night.

jessiegirl_98 · September 2009

I think that you need to work on your sleep, not just with FI! Have you tried yoga, deep breathing, mediatation, any of those things to help with anxiety which can help sleep? I am like you- horrible sleeper, always have been, and DH falls asleep in seconds and sleeps through the night.

nda_roxybabe · September 2009

Travis&Cari- I may suggest that to T. I don't know how he will feelabout getting on my sleep schedule but I miss sleeping with him at night..

jessiegirl_98 · September 2009

Since you say you are juggling so many things, also put a pad of paper by your bed. That way, when you think "oh crap, I have to do ____ tomorrow" you can write it down and relax rather than knowing that you may forget it and worrying about it. Again though, you need to work on strategies for relaxing in general and it will help your sleep :-)

swans alive · September 2009

jessiegirl, I have tried all of the above! It doesn't work. The only thing that remotely works is when I use Jillian Michaels' "30 Day Shred" in the evening. Of course, it tires me out to the point where I want to collapse, so I fall asleep quickly, but it's not so conducive to sexytime with FI and I! At this point, if FI and I could just fall asleep harmoniously, I'd figure the naked stuff out somehow. FI even told me that if he had to do without sex for awhile, he'd do it just so I could sleep peacefully. I hate this!

Sleeping habits

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