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Please help quell my anxiety

kimbini429kimbini429 member
10 Comments
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
Long story short--my mom does NOT like my FFIL.  I could go into details, but it would be really long and boring.  FFIL does not know that my mom does not like him, because they live in different states and really don't see each other that often, so when they do see each other, my mom plays nice.Wedding is very soon, and I know my mom is very anxious/stressed about it (I'm the first of her kids to get married, she was very recently hospitalized for bipolar disorder, wedding planning has been less than stress-free, etc.).  So I'm absolutely terrified that she's going to break down if my FFIL acts like he usually does (bossy and condescending).  How much did your parents and FIL's interact on the wedding day?  I have them seated at separate tables.  I hear that on your wedding day, you are running around so much that you don't really spend all that much time with any one person--is that true for your parents as well? 
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Re: Please help quell my anxiety

  • ffmaidffmaid
    1000 Comments
    Ours barely interacted. My folks did go over and say something to teh effect of how wonderful that their kids loved one another but that was about it. Each set of parents had so many other folks to say hi to ect
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  • cortneyloocortneyloo
    100 Comments
    My mom isn't so fond of my in-laws for various reasons. Their personalities are very different from my parents and they can be condescending and super critical. I chose to separate them and let them host their own tables on separate ends of the room and they had very limited interaction
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  • vallyhoovallyhoo
    5000 Comments
    I was going to say something along the lines of, if you are having an intimate setting with less than 25 guests it might be awkward. But I wanted to make sure that wasn't the case first! I'm sure it will be fine and the last thing on your mind that day, hope your mom is doing better as well.
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  • tidetraveltidetravel member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments
    I am sorry that your mom has been having a hard time.  In all honesty, if they are at seperate tables, chances are that they won't speak to each other much.  Unfortunately, it sounds like it is FFIL's personality that doesn't sit well w/ mom, and that's not something that you can change.That being said, weddings are generally pretty stressful; it may not be FFIL that sets her off.  Maybe have a family member that is close to the situation keep an eye on her and help her/take her home if she seems to be getting stressed.  Make sure you keep YOUR stress under control, or at least away from her, so you don't upset her on accident.  
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  • kimbini429kimbini429 member
    10 Comments
    Thanks Vally, one day at a time.  I'm just glad she's able to be there after everything that happened...almost lost her a couple times.
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  • ffmaidffmaid
    1000 Comments
    oh and FYI my parents and inlaws like one another and they barely had time to say hi and how wonderful.
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  • laureninglaurening
    100 Comments
    Can your Dad (if they are together) or another close relative or friend of your Mom's who is seated at her table keep an eye out for her. If she gets caught in a conversation with FFIL, they can interrupt after a polite minute or two and pull her away on some pretense. Also, is she driving to the wedding herself? I'd make sure that she has a way home if she starts to get overwhelmed and wants/needs to leave early.   
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  • kimbini429kimbini429 member
    10 Comments
    Lauren, that's a good idea.  She and my dad are seated together, and he will surely keep an eye out for her if I ask him to.  Also, mom and dad are coming in from out of town, so her hotel room is just upstairs from the reception--a very easy means of escape!  Thanks for both ideas :)
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  • karenttroublekarenttrouble
    100 Comments
    Don't worry about this.  The parents will be entertaining relatives and won't be talking much to eachother
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