HELP!!! Not excited Bride!!!

geologybarbie · August 2012

OK so here goes my venting.

I love my FI and can't wait to marry him, but I have to admit that I am not at all excited about planning a wedding. We got engaged in June and are thinking of getting married September 2013. I thought at first I just needed time to get use to getting engaged and that the wedding bug whould get me, however I still am not excited about it.

So here's my why/background info:

Trying to plan a wedding and keep family members happy is really putting a drain on me. My parents are recently divorced and don't get along well and my FI parents have been divorced for a while and don't speak to eachother. We live in TX, but wanted to have a destination wedding in FL at the beach. My family lives all over the country so they are going to have to travel for it no matter what. His family lives a few hours away so the traveling would probably be a bit more inconvient for them. That being said, our plans were to rent a beachhouse for the family to stay and have a basic vacation with a wedding and reception there. However with family dynamcis we then changed it to just the wedding party staying at the house. This however is a problem to me cause I would really like my mom to be there at the house as she is going to be setting everything up, and i am really close to her. But I don't think I can have my mom stay there without inviting my FMIL to stay as well. Of course then isn't that unfair to the Dads? argghhhh I just don't know.

So my questions are; knowing the above info, is it normal for a bride to be to not be excited? Anyone else have this problem and how did u get into the wedding planning mood?

GSUMayo · August 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_help-not-excited-bride?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:1000c0e1-f6c5-46e5-9c3a-7dfa353af74bPost:0f8ed8d8-4c41-46b3-8f92-4bbf14a1a7c0">HELP!!! Not excited Bride!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]OK so here goes my venting. I love my FI and can't wait to marry him, but I have to admit that I am not at all excited about planning a wedding. We got engaged in June and are thinking of getting married September 2013. I thought at first I just needed time to get use to getting engaged and that the wedding bug whould get me, however I still am not excited about it. So here's my why/background info: Trying to plan a wedding and keep family members happy is really putting a drain on me. My parents are recently divorced and don't get along well and my FI parents have been divorced for a while and don't speak to eachother. We live in TX, but wanted to have a destination wedding in FL at the beach. My family lives all over the country so they are going to have to travel for it no matter what. His family lives a few hours away so the traveling would probably be a bit more inconvient for them. That being said, our plans were to rent a beachhouse for the family to stay and have a basic vacation with a wedding and reception there. However with family dynamcis we then changed it to just the wedding party staying at the house. This however is a problem to me cause I would really like my mom to be there at the house as she is going to be setting everything up, and i am really close to her. But I don't think I can have my mom stay there without inviting my FMIL to stay as well. Of course then isn't that unfair to the Dads? argghhhh I just don't know. So my questions are; knowing the above info, is it normal for a bride to be to not be excited? Anyone else have this problem and how did u get into the wedding planning mood?
Posted by geologybarbie[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>
</div><div>I totally feel your pain! I've been engaged now for over a year and am planning to marry in the coming May. When I started thinking about my wedding my woes began! lol </div><div>
</div><div>I went to a wedding planner at a venue I thought I might like and when we sat down her first question was "ok! tell me allllll about your dream wedding!" And if you could see my face, I looked like a dear in head lights. Stunned. I have never been the kind of girl to day dream about the big day and unlike my other girlfriends, I don't know what I want. Nor do I have 3 back up plans if the first plan fails! haha </div><div>
</div><div>But I will be honest with you, my biggest woe in the begining of planning was the money. Everything things cost something and all I saw when talking about planning was the stacks of dollars piling up! We are paying for the wedding 100% on our own and that is very scary in itself. </div><div>
</div><div>So me and my fiance sat down. Talked about what we liked and wanted and absolutely had to have and could absolutely live without. Came up with a very basic budget just to give us some guidelines and we took off from there. </div><div>
</div><div>But it's not all sunshine and roses. You WILL get stressed out. And you WILLwant give up and just want to go elope and then come back and tell your family but it will all work out in the end, I promise! =) It will get easier and more fun. Just make sure you have someone (or multiple someones) to talk too to vent and get suggestions and *most importantly*, talk to your fiance. Let him know how you feel and keep him in on the planning and look to him for ideas and support! You're gonna be a team from now on...go ahead act like it! =D</div><div>
</div><div>Best of luck to you! =D

</div>

DaveandRoxy · August 2012

I flip-flop. When I have to do hard or boring things like call people to set appointments, listen to sales speals, learn about colors and flowers and fabric and uggh. It's easy to get overwhelmed and disillusioned with the whole "fantasy wedding" thing. I'm in the same boat you are pretty much. My parents are divorced and remarried and don't really like each other much. My FI's parents don't want to come. So there's points where I'm just like "why don't we just elope?" So to answer your question, yes it's totally normal to feel the way you do when you think about the negatives. But, when you think about married life, a new last name, spending the rest of your life with you FI, achieving your dreams and goals together and all the positives about the outcome of a wedding, then do you get excited? If not, then there's proabably a deeper problem.

Wzz · August 2012

excited about getting married =/= excited about planning a wedding. these are two different things.

FLANYTATOOGURL · August 2012

In Response to Re:HELP!!! Not excited Bride!!!:[QUOTE]excited about getting married / excited about planning a wedding. these are two different things. Posted by Wzz[/QUOTE]

I am really happy that all of these newb have decided to start posting here and I declare myself their queen.

My loyal subject your first order of buisness is to write an individual thesis on how awesome I am.

nani1012 · August 2012

It's not always grand planning your wedding. Trying to look up ideas and buy things are pretty nice, but when having to do stuff like the seating chart is a whole other story. I admit that it's been stressful regarding family on both sides. FIs parents are divorced and there's some tension between families for whatever reason (don't really know details and it's not my place). My side some don't get along just because they're siblings and it seems like they love to argue (I would say debate, but it doesn't always sound like it). So I can understand, but focus on you and FI...that's what the day is about. So relax and breathe :-)

DakotaG · August 2012

I go back and forth about being totally excited and then just not feeling into the whole planning thing whatsoever. But I've noticed that my excitement about it changes based on who I'm talking to. My dad is actually surprisingly psyched about helping plan a wedding (who knew!) and seems to really understand the things that are important to me. So talking to him makes me happy. For the most part my mom is fun to plan with because we have similar tastes, but sometimes it feels like the wedding is all we have talked about for the past 2 months. And even though we agree on most things, when I have another idea (for example, my fiance and I want to do the "first look" pictures where you see each other alone before the ceremony; my mom thinks that's weird), then she gets really strange and passive aggressive. For the most part though, planning with my parents and fiance is fun. My fiance's mom on the other hand makes me want to elope. Ha. I'm sure that's how it is for a lot of people though. Like a lot of guy's moms, I don't think she's ever really came around to the idea that I'm here to stay. Anytime she starts talking about the wedding I just want to shut down and not talk at all. Planning anything with his side of the family seems to always end in an argument and trying to include her in the wedding plans is just beyond frustrating.

I don't know... sometimes I feel like I'm just saying "sure, that sounds good." or "yeah, that's fine with me" when someone comes up with an idea or suggestion. Not because I'm being a pushover, but because I truly don't care. When it comes down to it, I just want to get married. A pretty wedding will be great, but my goal here is to have a wonderful marriage, not throw the party of the decade. So maybe it's a good thing if we aren't over the top excited...

geologybarbie · August 2012

Thanks everyone for sharing. It makes me happy to know that I am not the only one in this boat.

HELP!!! Not excited Bride!!!

Re: HELP!!! Not excited Bride!!!

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