Dress! What to do?

benaubrey822 · September 2009

Need your advice!I got engaged on August 22nd and our wedding is set for January 31 2010. I have probably tried on 50+ dresses and although I think many of them are beautiful I do not LOVE any of them or feel like a bride in them. Back in 2002 I saw an advertisement for a Demetrios dress that I loved. It was an older more traditional style dress. extended Cathedral train, ball gown, sweetheart neckline, with three-quarter-length bell sleeves. Anyways, I feel in love with this style dress and I'm having a hard time finding anything like it and liking anything else (although I could probably do without the long sleeves). When I try on the newer style dresses (strapless or one's with pick-ups) I think they are beautiful and I love the way they fit and make me look but I don't feel like a bride in them. I finally did find one that I like, it is a halter top, beaded, ball gown with extended train. The train has lots of lace where you can see the floor through the lace so the detail really stands out from a distance, and it also has a low back which I like. However, neither my sister nor best friend showed much excitement when I showed it to them. I normally do not care what others think especially if I like something. However, I think I have let their lack of enthusiasm influence my own thoughts. My sister said, "You know when you find 'the dress' because you wont want to take it off. I'm worried your just settling because you are short on time and you may look back and regret not finding the right dress." I do like the dress. It's the first dress I put on and I feel like a bride. However, I don't know if the style is the best shape for me (I think it looks great but I know there are other cuts that really show up my figure better). I am small chested so I would need a good amount of padding to make the halter look good. It's also a couple sizes too big so it's hard to tell how it will look once it's fitted properly. It only comes in white with white lace and white beading so the detail does not really stand out from the dress. Every time I go try on dresses I end up liking certain parts of dresses but not the whole thing. It is getting really annoying. I had no idea it would be this hard to find a dress! I have 4 months until the wedding and would like to have my dress altered by the beginning of January. So that really leaves me three months. SOOOO do I go with my instincts and buy this dress or do I keep searching although I'm burnt out on trying on dresses and being disappointed with not experiencing the "oh my goodness I LOVE this dress!!!!" moment? I've tried on more dresses since this one and I just dont like them.Sorry this is so long....any thoughts would be great!!

tanarw · September 2009

Not sure if there's enough time for this or not, but why not try getting one created from scratch by a reliable seamstress? If you know what parts you love, you could work with them to create a whole dress that you love from top to bottom. Just a thought!

amyers321 · September 2009

Have you tried looking on ebay or house of brides for that dress?

Pretty Parula · September 2009

Going off of pp that mentioned having a dress made, why not check out someone like this: http://www.distinctivegowns.com/ I'm not sayin' the styles shown on her website are necessarily your style, but it seems like she's versatile. And I bet there are plenty of other great seamstresses out there as well. Hope you end up with something you feel comfortable with, but I think that at the end of the day, whatever choice you make will be the right choice.

benaubrey822 · September 2009

Thanks! I checked out house of brides, ebay, craigslist, preownedweddingdresses and so on. So far no such luck. Unfortunately, I do not know the style number. Talked to the local demetrios and the corporate office, but I wasn't able to find it. I do have a pic but I haven't been able to locate the style number. The dress that I do like I found online with Plussizebridal for $552. The store sells it for $800. I called Alfred Angelo to make sure they sell to plussizebridal and they do so I know its the real deal. The alternations I need will cost about $250 and my dress budget is around $700 with alternations, this will $100 over. I can live with that, but I don't think I can have a custom dress made for $800. But I will look into it. Thanks for your thoughts.Again, I wish it was an easier decision.

Theresa626 · September 2009

I would get it if it's the first dress you've found that you love. To be honest, three months is pretty much no time at all. Demetrios tells you their dresses take up to eight months to come in and four months is the minimum for a lot of other places. Who cares what they think? If you like it, get it. You don't want to end up without a dress. They will learn to love what you love about it.

Theresa626 · September 2009

If it makes you feel any better, the demetrios dresses with ball gown style are very expensive. I tried on practically every single ball gown at Demetrios and they were all between 1200 and 1700 dollars and up. So, maybe it's best you never found the other dress. Otherwise you would've fallen in love with something that was probably twice your price range.

jackx18 · September 2009

What if you found a dress that is similar to the one you found and had sleeves added? Find a good seamstress and see if that is possible. GL

benaubrey822 · September 2009

Jackx18,That's the problem : ( I am having the hardest time finding anything like the one I saw. I did find one but there were too many things about it that just weren't going to work and were not fixable according to a few seamstress I talked to. So far the one at Alfred Angelo has been the closest to the style. I looked online for about to 2 hours last night just looking at wedding dress styles and there is not much out there that fits the look I am going for. I've got to run or I'll be late to work but I'll finish my post later.Thanks again. Anymore thoughts on how to know if it's the "right" dress???

cjbwifey2010 · September 2009

Have you tried coming down the Demetrios in Tampa? If you're in love with their styles then i think that is what you should do. I went to them the other day and they will alter ANYTHING! Change a skirt on one dress to make it look the way you want! If i were you, that is where i would start... HTH!

cjbwifey2010 · September 2009

Opps just read about your price range and know that wont work for Demetrios...i dont think...well i went to try on a dress a couple of weeks ago and it was really pretty, come to find out that it was on sale and it cost 799 and the orinal price was 1799! So maybe try them still, the dress may still be there somewhere... if not...go with ur gut. It's ur day, ur dress, but you have to FEEL like a bride in it...because if not, then it's just another dress....

SRivera09 · September 2009

Have you tried looking at Jasmine Bridal. I know they can mix and match a bit. Also, did your family take pictures? I know that helped me a lot when I was trying to decide seeing how it looked on me on film. I think the feeling of the "right dress" is different for everyone. I know girls that cried when they tried the right dress on. When I tried my dress on I just didn't want to take it off. I only went to like 2 or 3 stores because I didn't want to overwhelm myself with to many choices. But go with your gut. If you liked that other dress you should go back for a 2nd fitting.

benaubrey822 · September 2009

I did take pictures and that's what throwing me off. There have been a ton of dresses that I like in person but when I see myself in it in a photo I think it just looks like a pretty fancy dress, like a prom dress, but it doesn't look like a wedding dress to me. The one at Alfred Angelos that I found I like the pic of me in it because I look like a bride, but because it isn't fitted to me yet, I'm not in love with how I look in it. But I really think once it's altered I will love it. I may try to hit a couple more stores this weekend and then go ahead and order the dress if I don't find anything. I did look at Jasmine and Mary's because they have the longer ball gown style. But I didn't see anything that had it all. This is what I am looking for:Cathedral train with lace detail so you can see the floor under the dress through the lace.Detailed top with beading, lace and/or sequence. I would like for the detail to be silver or just not white so it stands out from the white dress. But this isn't a must, I just really like it. The skirt to have detail at the bottom that moves up towards the middle of the dress, not a solid white skirt. A waistline that does not have a straight across seem but either makes a "V" (Basque) or an inverted "V". Neckline: ??? this is what I'm not sure about. So far I like some halters, or sweetheart, but I don't like the straight across. I also like another style but I don't really know how to describe it. Low back, well at least so my should blades show. I would love lace up but I know this can be added. See I'm picky! Now I just need to find it on one dress. I know some things you can alter. Anyone seen this dress!!! LOL

umcollegegrl · September 2009

I would suggest going back to the store by yourself and trying on that dress again. See how YOU really feel about it. Its your dress, not your friend's or your sister's. When I first tried on the dress I ended up buying I thought it was pretty, I looked like a bride, but I didn't have that "This is the ONE" feeling. I tried on a bunch others and then went home and looked at the pictures. I was getting really discouraged because I had tried on a bunch of dresses and none of them gave me that moment everyone seems to tell you will happen. I went back and tried on that dress again and a couple others, and really tried to picture how it would like in the right size, in the right color (I tried it in gray/silver), etc. I put aside everyones comments about how the right dress would make me cry, yadda yadda. And in the end, I decided I really liked that dress, and I felt pretty and like a bride in it, so I bought it. Could I have kept shopping, hoping to find one that made me cry, sure, but I might never have had that moment, and I'm really happy with the dress I bought. I just went for my first fitting, and seeing in ivory, in my size, really made me sure about my decision. BTW, my dress is also an alfred angelo (#810) but I took my dress someplace else to get altered. I'm also small chested, so I knew it was going to take quite a bit of alterations to get the bust right, and AA's prices were ridiculous. Definitely get recommendations of other seamstresses to go to. I'm in SFL, so my rec wouldn't really help, but I know there are a couple of ladies that are frequently recommended by the girls here. HTH Good luck and let us know how things go! What AA dress are you looking at by the way?

benaubrey822 · September 2009

umcollegegrl,Thanks for your comment! It's good to hear someone else can relate! It's AA 1846. I def. will not be getting it altered at AA. I have a few other options. Thanks for the advice. I will keep you all posted.

umcollegegrl · September 2009

Thats a beautiful dress!

SarahSmile23 · September 2009

hey benaubrey...have you tried posting on the Dress board? those ladies are amazing at helping other ladies find the style of gown they want. go post a "help me" thread over there and post everything you told us...including your preferred requirements for your gown!good luck!

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