Wedding Etiquette Forum

never thought I would be one of those brides...

but my wedding is a little more than a month away and I don't think I like my dress anymore. I just picked it up from the seamstress on Friday, and when I tried it on I felt nothing. It's not that I'm not in love with the dress... I dont even think I like it anymore. I don't know what happened, but now I'm not sure what to do. I could keep it and hope I change my mind before the wedding. I could look for a new dress off the rack or on a website like preownedweddingdresses.com. The main problem with getting a new dress is that my mother was with me when I found my dress... she paid for it ($900) and I have spent $250 on alterations for it. I'm only 5'2 and I had to 6 inches cut off of it. The wedding is November 7. Someone make me feel better please :(

Re: never thought I would be one of those brides...

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  • You will be beautiful no matter what dress you wear.  FI will probably be happy even if you show up in a potato sack.What about the dress did you love at first?  What is it that you don't like now?
  • $1,150 is a big investment to just 'not like' anymore.  Is there something specific you don't like?  Is there another alteration you could do that would make it more appealing?  Have you asked people close to you what they think?
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  • You will look beautiful on your wedding day because you are the bride and it's impossible for a bride to look bad on her wedding day, no matter the dress.  You've already sunk $1k into a dress you liked at one point.  Trust the decision you made and go forward.  It would be crazy to spend more to get another dress, unless you have gobs of money, but if you had gobs of money, you'd have probably bought another dress by now.  It's just a dress.
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  • I am trying to upload a pic so you can see what I'm talking about but... in this pictures the top looks very glittery to me. It has pearls, but it also has beads and I guess the beads pick up the light more than I thought. I wasn't allowed to take pictures in the store because the dress is from a limited line, so I wasn't really able to see this in a picture before now. The dress has 2 bands of fabric that come around the waist and gather in the front. I didn't mind this at first, but when my sister looked at the dress for the first time she told me they looked dumb. I took her opinion with a grain of salt but really I think it made me a little self-conscious. But other than these 2 things I cant really put my finger on why I dont like the dress anymore
  • youre probably just worn out from all the planning. youre losing momentum/excitement. the morning of when you put it on you will be amazed at how beautiful you look & feel!
  • I dont know how to make this clicky but here is a link to the dress when I was at the seamstresses http://tinyurl.com/n5xfkx
  • I also wouldn't spend more money on a new dress this close to the wedding.  You'll be lucky to get much more than half of the original price if you sell it, even if it's NWT.  Also, do you really want to go to the trouble and stress of buying a new dress now?  You'll be pushing it to get it altered in time, especially if you buy from a website and it involves shipping.  And what are you going to do if you decide the second one isn't all that you wanted?I would work on loving the dress you have again.
  • That's a beautiful dress! It'll look great on your wedding day.
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  • I think it's a very pretty dress!
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  • I had the same problem, except I knew as soon as my dress came in after ordering it (i received it 8 months before).  DH was with me when I bought it, although he hadn't seen it on me.  He adamantly refused to let me spend any more money on another dress (we combined our finances years ago when we moved in together) and my dress was hella expensive before alterations, which tacked on another $300.  This isn't going to help you at all, because I didn't get a different dress, and I still have a love/hate relationship with it 10 months after the fact.  I look at pictures and I am like, what was I thinking?  then i'll see the same picture on a different day and think that I looked beautiful.that being said, if you are not happy with it, and you have the $$, go and look for something else, just be aware that you will have little to no time to alter it.  coming from someone who didn't "loooooveeeeee" her dress, I don't think that looking for something else could hurt.  It might make you realize that you did make the right decision.  
  • I think it's a beautiful dress and you look stunning in it.As far as practical advice for your predicament goes, you could always add a tiara, veil/fascinator, boloro, jewellery (I think you could get away with a statement necklace or bracelet) to change the look a little if you are really unhappy.Don't buy a new dress! This one is stunning, I think you just need to play around with the accessories.
  • Thanks for compliments about the dress! I guess PP was right that I am overthinking things and second guessing everything. I have been thinking a lot about accessories. I already have a veil that I really love, but I don't think I'm going to wear any other headpiece. I also dont think I should wear a necklace bc there is a lot going on with the bead work on the top of the dress. Earrings are the biggest decision right now. I bought a pair of rhinestone chandelier earrings but I can't decide if they are too much. I don't have any kind of pracelets to wear yet but I'm still looking. My favorite accessory are my purple shoes that I got from Nina.com. They match my BM dresses.
  • I think you look stunning in that dress! It makes you look long and lean with a tiny waist. And the waistline is very flattering on you, so don't listen to your sister.I wouldn't mind seeing a simple necklace with that dress. Nothing overly ornate, maybe a simple drop pendant. You look fabulous and your fiance is going to be gobsmacked when he sees you walk down the aisle. :D
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  • Please don't buy another gown.  You look gorgeous and I LOVE the dress!!!!!
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  • I think your sister was jealous when she said that because you look amazing.
  • the dress will be great and you will look beautiful. just remember too that when you tried it on again you weren't all dolled up either. on the big day you'll have fab hair, make-up, and the dress will be icing on the cake. by the way, i think something like this happens to all of us. as one of the pp said you're prob just burnt out. i have 17 days to go and i told my FI the other day I didn't like the hall we picked anymore, he looked at me like I'd grown a 3rd eyball. after a few days i realized it wasn't about the hall it was the fact that i just want it to be here. all the details don't matter to me anymore because it's about me and my FI.
  • You look FANTASTIC in that dress!  I love how different the waistline is!  You will feel better once you are all done up and in it.  I felt apprehensive when I went for alterations because I looked like crap and had no makeup on and my hair wasn't done, but I'm confident that I will look great the day of.  Don't worry!!! 
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  • I'm honestly not saying this to make you feel better but you look amazing in the dress!  I have a feeling your overwhelmed and will 'love' the dress the day of your wedding :)
  • Everyone needs a little reassurance sometimes :) There are millions of choices in wedding gowns so it's easy to feel overwhelmed or like you could have found something different...because you could have! But you didn't, and there isn't another dress out there that could be more flattering. You look gorgeous so enjoy the moment and don't add the stress of wasted money and being pressed for time in finding a new dress.
  • That is absolutely gorgeuos! I LOVE that dress. It looks great on you!
  • Thank you everyone- you have made me feel a lot better. I think I have been apprehensive because the dress is a little different, but I hope that I do fall in love with the dress again when I wear it for my bridal portraits October 1. I am still thinking about accessories. I have bigger chandelier earrings, and if I wear those I feel like I shouldn't wear a necklace. But now that I look at the picture, I think my neck does look a little bare. So I may go for a very simple necklace.
  • Wow! I totally love your dress! It's extremely flattering on you and I think you're just second guessing yourself.  I did the same thing because I bought my dress with my Mom as well and was hoping I didn't do it just because she loved it.  The funny part is that I saw it again after 7 months and tried it on and it fits perfectly...that's how I knew it was meant to be! :)
  • You look AMAZING!!!! The dress is perfect and you look great in it. Don't change it, it is a beautiful dress.
  • Gorgeous, gorgeous dress - I love it! My dress is also photographing shiny, so I feel your pain (I also couldn't take pics before I ordered it....) I'm hoping my photographers can cut the shine. But I think yours looks gorgeous even with the shine!
  • I think you look beautiful in the dress!!  I wouldnt bother wasting time lookng for another dress--the most important thing about the day is getting married to you FI.
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